- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
How do I document this?
I currently still live with my SO but, things are declining fast. He's an alcoholic and a drug user. He swears up and down that he'll change after DD gets here but, I'm somewhat skeptical.
My question revolves around documentation. I want to be prepared if, at a later date, we have to go to court. Can I use cameras around the house to capture his illegal activities? He's never been arrested, even though he drives around drunk, with drugs on his person, about two or three times a week. Also, when drunk, he harasses me for money to go purchase drugs and more alcohol. (I handle the finances.)
I'm hoping for the best but want to be prepared for the worst. Advice?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do I document this?
He swears up and down he'll change after DD gets here. Do you really, truly believe that? I hope not. Mark my words: he will NOT change. A baby only brings added stressors which he will in turn handle by drinking and using.
I would get out now and begin documenting by keeping a calendar of dates and events that occur. If you can take pictures of his drugs in a safe way where you will not be in danger of being hurt by him, then I would do so before you leave.
If I knew he was driving drunk, I'd be the first one to call the cops on him. I wouldn't want it on my conscience that he hurt or killed someone and I could have prevented it. While my ex-H wasn't an alcoholic or illegal drug user, having babies at home does cause added stress and he started acting more like a child than an adult. I don't see your SO changing for the better. He needs to man up now, or GTFO.
Sure you can take photos that works, you can also document by writing in a journal either on paper or online, you can use a date book, or you can use a calendar.
Honestly, I think you should make a plan to get out of this situation now. You have a baby coming. It's not healthy for you or your newborn to be around this chaos. Do you really want to be recovering from giving birth and getting used to your new baby setting a routine and having to deal w/ constant money shake downs for alcohol and drugs? OR dealing w/ police and drug enforcement agents if he got caught?
Help yourself now, while the baby is still safe and protected inside you. Addicts are empty promise makers they will say ANYTHING to make sure the supply of their addiction of choice is available. Right now he's telling you he'll change AFTER the baby comes, why won't he change now and get the withdraw over with before the baby comes. You dont' need to clean up withdraw puke and 8-10 diapers from the baby every day by yourself.
Alanon, Domestic Violence shelters can also help you.
You have control of the money You leave w/ that!
Yeah, definitely be incredibly skeptical.
I don't see why you couldn't use cameras around the house. Maybe take video of him staggering drunk while getting in his car and driving away?
Also, get yourself to Al Anon. It has been a lifesaver for me (the soon-to-be ex-wife of an alcoholic).
I am too in the process of divorcing an alcoholic. I am just writing down the dates and what happened. I wish I would of done this soon, but oh well!
I think the whole using camera thing depends on your state so I don't know that part. I would also call the police when you know he is driving around drunk. I almost had to call the police the other day on my STBXH because he wanted to drive he daughter home after he had been drinking.
Harassment for money should probably be documented too.