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February 2011 Moms
ms12345
member
NBR: Do your parents or in-laws have a key to your house/apt?
ms12345
member
So, I agree with the poster who said that this board has been super slow lately. I saw this question posed on another board yesterday when I was lurking and thought I'd pose it here!
I'll start!
Parents - No, but not because of a conscious decision to not give one to them. Just hasn't come up in the eight months we've been in our new house. Would certainly consider it though, mine would never use it to intrude.
In-laws - HELL to the NO. This came up this past weekend actually. Their noses were bent out of joint when DH and I said that this past weekend was good to visit, just not Friday night (they live three hours away). We said we were busy. DH was busy - he had a guys' night at a friend's place... I was home and in bed by 7:30pm because I hadn't slept well in weeks and had just gotten my achy back fixed, and did NOT want to feel obligated to entertain or be up until 1am with them.
They decided to drive down anyway on Friday and his brother and sister kept harassing him about why they couldn't all stay Friday night. "Why couldn't you leave the key under the mat?????" (We didn't tell them about me, because that wouldn't be a "good enough reason" because "they're family".) They ended up staying at a hotel, but it came up the next day that they should get a key "so this doesn't happen again and we can let ourselves in if you're not here". 
STM due Feb. 2017!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: Do your parents or in-laws have a key to your house/apt?
No one does. My mom or FIL I really don't mind. We just got all new doors and just have not had keys made. We need to do it because if we got locked out, we'd be SOL. I need to do it before I go into labor so someone can take care of my dogs!
My parents and in-laws do not have a key to our home. I don't think I would have too much of a problem with them having one, but they don't need one and neither are the type to want to "let themselves in" if we aren't there.
My brother and SIL have a key to our home. They live 10 minutes away and have key more as an in case of emergency situation. They would never use it to just come over when they pleased.
If I lived in the same town as my parents I would give them a key because I know they wouldn't abuse the privilege. I used to live about 2 hours away from my parents and they didn't get a key.
If my in-laws were like what you described above I would refuse to give them a key! Next thing you know you get home one evening to find them in your house and they've eaten everything in your fridge. If they can't respect your legitimate, rational requests they don't deserve a key.
My in-laws have a key. They help us with the kids a lot so it makes sense.
My parents - no they live far enough away.
Well we live with my inlaws. i know you can all feel bad for me. It is not that bad though they are not home much. My MIL owns a yarn store and is very busy with that and I get a long great with my FIL. The house is really big and they are older (MIL 64, FIL 71) so DH and I clean the house cook all the meals and take care of the farm and heat the house we have an outdoor wood stove. so it works out ok. just that I can not change anything in the house other then our bathroom, bedroom and soon to be nusery.
As far as my parents we dont even have a key to the house. We are the only house on a dirt road, we have three dogs that run loose all day and thee is someone home at least 80% of the time. If someone where to look the house up I am not sure how we would get in. I have looked for a key but have yet to find one.
My parents have one. We live literally a 3 minute driving distance from each other. It is nice knowing if we leave for a weekend trip, and realized we forgot to close a window or forgot to take the trash out, that they can pop over and help us out. Same with us if they forget to do something, we have a key. Also if they drop by to drop something off, they can always throw it in the house. They would never come over when we are not there just to chill out in the living room and eat our food lol.
In-Laws? Nope, Nope, Nope.
Yes both do. My IL's live only 10 minutes away so they come if we need to wait for a repair man or to let out our dog or feed the cat.
My parents do but my mom has only used it to drop something off. She lives 45 minutes away so she doesn't come unannounced.
In-laws: No, they don't live in the area and it would be no anyway if they did. We're not close.
Mom and sister: Yes. They aren't the type to just stop by so it's just for emergencies or when we go on vacation.
IL live four hours away and there is no way in hell I would give them a key.
my parents live 3 hours away and they don't have a key either.
The only person who has a key is dh cousin and he only comes over it we need him to check on the dogs or something.
They don't have keys but they know our garage code. If they don't and they need to get in for something or we ask them to go check on something, we give them the code.
I also do have a key to my brother's house and believe DH has a key to his brother's house. But we only use it when they ask us to go over there for something.
Exactly! If they had a key this past weekend, they would have totally walked in and camped out, thinking "They won't kick us out now that we're here!" Same people who once called to say they were 20 minutes away.......they live three hours away. If you spontaneously decided to drive three hours (which it's unlikely your decision to do that was spontaneous), why wait until you're only 20 minutes away to call?!
my brother has a key
and other then that the only family that has a key is MIL and the only reason she has a key is bc she just moved out in june after living with us for 9 months
My parents don't have one simply because they've never asked and I honestly don't think they'd want one.
The in-laws do (unfortunately) in case of an emergency (which seems stupid to me). Not sure why my husband gave them one. All the kids have one to the in-laws house so I guess they feel they should have one for ours.
I wouldn't mind giving my parents one because they respect our privacy and would NEVER come over unannounced. The in-laws have shown up unanncounced countless times which drives both me and my husband nuts! Too bad we can't take the damn key back!
My mom lives 5 minutes away and she has a key. She's very respectful of it though. She always calls or texts me and ask if she can go into my house when I'm not there if she needs to use the computer or something, even though I tell her it's ok to just go in. She never uses her key when we're there unless we're meeting and I'm in the shower or something. Our house tends to be the hang out house so we told everyone right after we bought it that as long as the side porch light was on people were welcome to stop by without calling, if it was off we were either not there, asleep or not in the mood for company. Never had any problems.
DH's mom doesn't have one but I'm not sure why not. She'd never come over anywhere. They have an odd relationship. She's very clingy so he keeps her at an arms length. It's his mom so I let him take the lead on that sort of thing.