Daycare vs MIL watching DS

RYANSWIFEY · August 2010

Right now DS is scheduled to start daycare (2 days a week) next week. MIL talked to DH about watching DS instead of us putting him in daycare.

I feel like daycare would be good for DS. He needs to start being around other people other than DH and myself. MIL hasn't shown a big interested in DS since he was born (1st grandchild), so I'm a little reluctant to let this happen. DH thinks its better than him going to day care.

Would you let MIL watch DC instead of putting him in daycare? What are the pros and cons of a family member watching DC?

TIA!

Liss_37 · August 2010

I guess it comes down to your relationship with MIL and weather or not you feel like she would fulfill his needs on a daily basis.

I love my mil and i'd have no problems with her watching ds. she's the type who would take him to the library and playgroups and stuff though so i know it wouldn't just be them alone all day

mags1984 · August 2010

It would totally depend on your MIL, but my kids are in daycare part time which is 25 hours a week so my MIL takes them 2 days a week but they go to daycare the other 3 days it works pretty well for us, but i have no doubts about my MIL's care for them. So maybe something part time would be a good compromise for you.

kimthgrt · August 2010

I cant stand my MIL, but it saved me a few hundered dollars a week using her rather then daycare.

the pros are: one on one time, less illnesses like lice and constant colds and such, HOPEFULLY no mysterious bruises, $$$$$

cons: if you hate MIL, she may or may not follow your recommendations (do things the way she thinks are right)..thats all I can think of right now.

if your worried about socialization, you can always do weekend activities with other kiddos

KOscar · August 2010

If one of the main reasons you want to start DC is for the social outlet I would ask MIL what she thinks her days would look like. If she doesn't plan to leave the house I would still keep the DC component. For us DC has provided a great social outlet. Our DS is very clingy and I think DC has helped expand his world to the fact that there are other people besides DH and myself.

IEtoLA · August 2010

It depends on whether you are comfortable with it and your relationship with your MIL. I wouldn't trust my MIL and would pick daycare even though she is "family". In the handful of times that she has seen DD, she doesn't do what is best for my LO. She would rather do what is convenient for her and what she wants...to the point that I had to take DD away from her. My mom watches DD right now, which DH is happy with. My only issue is that sometimes she doesn't always do what I ask, but then again she is helping me out and I know she would never put DD in harms way.

stellasmommy · August 2010

MIL takes care of DD and i wouldn't have it any other way. i also love my MIL and know she takes fantastic are of DD. she also watches my nephew, so she has a playmate everyday. my nephew is 17 months old, and next month he'll be starting day care 2 days a week. we'll probably do the same (either day care or 1/2 day nursery school) when DD is between 18-24 months just so DD will have more playmates.

if you feel like your MIL will take good care of your LO, then it's a great thing. if you're not sure, or you don't get along with MIL, then maybe daycare is the better option for you.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · August 2010

It depends. I wouldn't want my MIL to watch my DD for more than an hour. I honestly don't know how she managed to raise two boys because she's pretty dense about a lot of things. Example, she used Purell hand sanitizer on DD during a diaper change when we left her for an hour one night. Super Angry She also freaks out when DD cries.

My mom watches Katie from 8am-4pm M-Th and I love the fact that she's getting one on one time with her. My mom was an excellent mother towards my brother and I growing up. She's very nurturing and 'knows' the ins and outs of watching a baby. My MIL doesn't.

So if it came down to MIL v DC...I would choose DC in our situation. I know my husband would agree with me.

I would like to eventually get Katie involved with other kids through a play group or pre-school, just not right now before she's able to talk.

tigergreen · August 2010

like others have said, it depends on your relationship with her, and how much she would be willing to get out & give your son some social interaction with other kids.

pros of daycare: social interaction, a good program is more of a "pre-school," so they're learning things your MIL may not think to do (head start on school), getting illnesses out of the way before they become school age & really NEED to be present.

cons of daycare: $$$$$$, illnesses (although that has its benefits, listed above).

if you can afford it, and have a great place that you're comfortable with & think is a good fit, i'd honestly go the daycare route.

tigergreen · August 2010

or, if there's some kind of part-time daycare option (mine allows us to choose 2, 3, or 5 days a week), that may be the perfect compromise.

sunshine_77 · August 2010

my mom watches ds one day a week, and he goes to dc the rest. having her watch him in the beginning was great because he was so young and i was really nervous about dropping off a baby at daycare. but as he gets older, i think the playtime and interaction is great.plus he's very comfortable with anyone.

It all depends on what your MIL will be doing with him. My mom did do swimming lessons, but other than that they really just hang out inside. I actually think he gets a better rounded day by going to daycare the other days. When he's older, i may just consider doing daycare 5 days a week since it will be more like pre-school, while home with grandma may be more like a lazy day off... we'll see. i'm getting her a convertable carseat, so maybe they'll be adventurous. right now she finds the infant seat heavy and awkward so they don't go anywhere on her day.

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