Anyone else struggle with being too honest with daycare provider?

The_Jen626 · August 2010

I work M-Th. I really love my DCP, we've been using her for over a year and she's fabulous.

Sometimes I will ask her if she can take DD on Fridays. It used to be very occasionally, as sometimes I had to work a random Friday, or had a Dr's appt, or whatever.

Well during the summer I have been putting her in on a few Fridays, and then hanging out by the pool all day, or DH and I would take the boat out just the two of us. I noticed that I made a conscious effort to hide my swimsuit, or change my clothes before I picked DD up. Or one day I went in to work for a few hours, then got a massage and went to happy hour, and then picked up DD. And when I pick DD up my DCP would say "how was work" and I would say "oh, just fine" instead of saying "I didn't work today, I went boating instead."

I don't feel bad about dropping DD off at daycare on my day off...like I wouldn't hide it from any friends or family...but I kind of feel "wierd" about telling my DCP "I'd rather relax today than hang out with my kid". I think it's good for a Mom to be selfish occasionally, and I am a big advocate for my Mommy Friends to be more selfish and take care of themselves, I think it makes for a better Mom overall.

Anyone else? Do you point out that you aren't working that day? Or would you just nod and say "yep, work was fine" when you just had a massage? It makes me feel like I'm lying, and I don't want to lie to her. but at the same time, do I need to be honest about this?

And, I feel silly for typing this all out...LOL...

erika_sue · August 2010

I think it's up to you what to tell your DCP. Personally, I work at a day care and I have one mom in my class who takes off at least on day a week. We all understand, because her DH is deployed right now, so that time off is the only time she ever gets to take care of things in the house and run errands without her boys.

One thing to think about is how the DCP would contact you in an emergency. If they just use your cell all the time, that's fine, but I can say personally how frustrating it is to call a parent at work, have them paged, only to be told no one can find them, and they probably weren't in that day.

katie_cj · August 2010

Nah, I tell my DCP wether they can reach me on my cell or in my office.

Though, I do tend to say that I'm running errands and not lounging/sleeping. lol!

DTNZ4Ever · August 2010

DS only goes to DC 3 days a week. I have't sent him on a day when he isn't there since I don't want to spend the money. However I have taken off a day from work and brought DS to DC and got a massage, pedi, and lunch with my sister, also one time we sent DS to DC and DH and I had a date day. I tell our providers the truth. I still have to pay them is DS is there or not, they told me to enjoy my day. I think I would feel funny if I dropped him off on one of my days with him and went out and had fun. I don't feel bad if it is a day he is normally there.

jesspacatc · August 2010

I do this every now and again, its the ONLY chance I get to take care of things sometimes - otherwise shes in DC from 630-630 and I work at least that, sometimes more....and her dad works 330-midnight so its just her and I at night. I don't think its any of their business where you are, as long as you are able to be contacted. Besides, you are paying for your child to be there. And there's nothing wrong with spending a little time on yourself.

JLS0320 · August 2010

Mine doesn't ask. A few times last week I came home early, changed into comfy shorts and relaxed. I changed back into my work clothes when it was time to pick him up lol. I felt bad too obviously!

The_Jen626 · August 2010

JLS0320:
Mine doesn't ask. A few times last week I came home early, changed into comfy shorts and relaxed. I changed back into my work clothes when it was time to pick him up lol. I felt bad too obviously!

Lol!! See, why didn't you leave the comfy shorts on? That's exactly what I'm talking about!

The_Jen626 · August 2010

Oh and yes, she always calls me on my cell phone if she needs me.

mollymurphy · August 2010

The_Jen626:
JLS0320:
Mine doesn't ask. A few times last week I came home early, changed into comfy shorts and relaxed. I changed back into my work clothes when it was time to pick him up lol. I felt bad too obviously!
Lol!! See, why didn't you leave the comfy shorts on? That's exactly what I'm talking about!

If I ran home to change out of work clothes for whatever reason, I don't change back to pick him up.

That said, if he's at DC and I'm not at work, I'm out running errands or at medical appointments, not lounging: I'm not embarassed to tell her that I had a doctor's appointment...in fact, she usually knows in advance.

wheelenl · August 2010

I often work out before I pick up the kids (I get off at 4:3o technically) and I don't change out of my gym clothes, so I guess the answer is that I don't care if they know.

inlovewow · August 2010

I think personal time is a must. I've only been a mom for 6 months but when I have that 'alone time' I am happier and feel really good. Whether it's a 20 minute bath while she's sleeping, a 30 minute workout while DH watches her/feeds her, etc. Look at it as you're making yourself a better mom overall b/c you're taking care of your needs too, along with your family's needs. Ya know? I work 10 hour days and then 4 hours on Friday, so I get DD at noon on Fridays and I love it. I haven't gone boating or swimming or shopping instead of picking her up, but it's only been 6 months! I'm sure it's only a matter of time before I do something like that. We all need that rejuvination!!!!!!!!

dmblack · August 2010

Don't feel guilty about this. I've taken a day off here and there to do things that I couldn't get done with the kids around. You are paying them to watch your LO anyway what is the difference of what you are doing. As long as you can be reached if needed I see no reason for you to feel guilty.

FutureGosnell · August 2010

We have only done this once, but will again in the future. DH and I went snowboarding. We both dropped DS off in our snowboarding clothes, it was 100% clear we were not headed to work. They told us to have a wonderful time and asked us about the slopes when we picked him up. It was no big deal really. I don't think you need to be honest as long as they can get a hold of you, but I don't think they really care.

Lotte134 · August 2010

FutureGosnell:
We have only done this once, but will again in the future. DH and I went snowboarding. We both dropped DS off in our snowboarding clothes, it was 100% clear we were not headed to work. They told us to have a wonderful time and asked us about the slopes when we picked him up. It was no big deal really. I don't think you need to be honest as long as they can get a hold of you, but I don't think they really care.

This. Our dc definitely knows that DH and I take days off to spend together. Our 'date' days keep us sane!

thumper57 · August 2010

You don't owe it to her to tell her. However, I think if you feel a little guilty over it "a little white lie", then just fess up. Then you conscious will feel free. Especially if you are doing it every week and feeling bad that you aren't being forthcoming. I would just flat out say that I decided Fridays are me time, then I would never have to explain Fridays again.

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