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Working Moms
hanging by a thread
What do you WM's do to relieve stress because I want to hit the bottle hard right now but I know that won't help in the end. I am struggling lately at keeping things together. I have had several meltdowns in past few months and I dont know what to do. I live no where near my family and I have no good friends in my vicinity. I have my husband and two dogs all of which cause me more stress then provide assistance. I feel like a whiner and I dont want too I just wonder if there is any advice for someone like me. I hate my life right now..... I barely get to enjoy my child/husband/dogs and I am stressed from my job and juggling home life responsibilities.
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Re: hanging by a thread
My stress relievers include: shopping, ladies night out, and taking a looong shower in peace & quiet. DH and I also plan a date night every couple of months - a date for just the two of us to go out to dinner, see a movie, or go to a comedy club.
Since you don't have family or good friends close by...I'm not sure how old your LO is, but have you considered getting a babysitter? Like a teenager or asking your DCP to watch LO on a Friday/Saturday evening so you could have some alone time? If you want to be alone...leave LO home with DH and go shopping for a couple hours.
It helps to get away - clear your head. Does DH help out with household chores? Maybe he needs to help more than he does right now?
If the dogs are more work/headaches than joy - get rid of them.
Talk to your DH - maybe he doesn't know how stressed you really are.
How old is your LO? Could you be suffering from PPD? Maybe see a DR and get some advice in that.
You don't want your best memories of your LO (being little) to be clouded by depression and sadness.
Maybe try joining a Mommies Group... Where you can develop friendships with ladies who are closer to you and it'll help get your mind off of work!
GL to you... Hope you get the help you need!
It is common to periodically feel overwhelmed but if you're feeling more overwhelmed and sad than happy, then it is time to start making some changes. A lot of it is attitude and starting by talking to a therapist. Someone that can help guide you to make solid changes in your life to live a better life.
When I have periods of feeling overwhelmed I get lots of exercise, sleep and quiet time. I put things on hold like making plans with friends or going to parties to just relax a little bit more but sometimes going out with a good girlfriend to dinner helps a lot. But exercise helps a lot. Helps me clear my head. Laughing a lot helps too. Being silly and nto sweating the small stuff. But again, it is all attitude and if you're clouded by the negative and feel depressed you're not going to be able to talk yourself out of it (or we won't be able to help either).
do you have any time offf? Can you take a couple of days in a row off of work just to gather yourself?
Your feelings are normal as I think we all feel this way at some point or another. Taking some days and doing things for yourself (get a mani/pedi, get things organized, spend time alone or with your kids/dogs) etc.
Sometimes just breaking the routine and catching your breath is the answer.
What can you cut out? What can you delegate? Can you take a sick day once in a while, or do something on your lunch hour?
When I feel overwhelmed, I try to exercise. Cliche, but it really does wonders for my mentality (and helps me sleep better). Or take a hot bath and read. I read that reading even for 7 minutes has been shown to reduce stress level significantly. Taking time for yourself, even if it's just after your chid goes to bed, is really helpful. We have it planned so that every Saturday, I go to an exercise class and DS and DH hang out together. Sometimes I take myself out to lunch or coffee afterward. It's such a little thing, but it feels so decadent sometimes!
Good luck. It sounds miserable. I hope you find a way to feel better about things.
First of all, to the pp who said get rid of your dogs, you need to STFU. That is not an appropriate solution. I'm not sure what the issue with the dogs are but getting a roomba or a cleaning person or a dog walker would have been a more appropriate suggestion.
To OP- we all feel overwhelmed sometimes. I have had many meltdowns. I am actually having one right now.
But they are starting to become less frequent and more manageable since I started eating better and exercising. You have no idea how much better I feel since I started working out. I know, sounds corny, but SERIOUSLY! It has helped tremendously! It was hard for me to carve out what little time I have with DS to do something for me. But I cannot stress to you enough how much better I started feeling.
::hugs:: Hope you feel better soon. And it's okay to hit the bottle every once in a while.
THIS. Pets should be more like family members not the first thing that becomes disposable when the going gets tough. You wouldn't show your DH or DC the door when they stress you out, so you shouldn't do that to a pet, either.
Can you prioritize what you HAVE to do? Not everything can be done at once. Also, can you take a real look at what is on your plate and let something go? After having my LO I realized my garden had to suffer. I still cringe when I see all of the weeds and neglected flowers but it is better for me to spend time with my family than outside weeding.
Can you afford help at home like a housekeeper or someone to help with the dogs?