School-Aged Children

Mom's of 6yo's- kindergarteners

Need some advice- a little upset & this will be long (sorry). My oldest is almost 6- headed to kindy this fall.  She's developed some serious sass over the summer, and hasn't been overly nice to her 3yo sister either.  DH & I handle 'attitude' with time outs or taking away items or privileges.  We take kind of a 'no nonsense' attitude about it & generally she does not put up a fuss for consequences because she knows there is no other option.  I should say she is a strong willed kid- very bright, and the only behavior issues we've ever had w/her are at home, she was always great at preschool.

Every once in awhile she'll still throw a tantrum (she was QUEEN of the tantrums when she was 3 & 4). Doesn't happen often, but when it does they last a long time.  Today that happened at my mom's house.  They watch her 2 days a week.  Last week she threw a fit at their community pool & lost swimming privileges today.  As her sister prepared to go to the pool, she completely flipped out.  My mom called me at work & I ended up having to discipline her via speaker phone (good times). Anyway, my mom got really upset & started crying & asking me if she thinks my DD is "normal", she doesn't think she should be having tantrums at this age.

I am certainly someone who could & would admit if my child has some kind of issue.  I do plan on speaking w/her pedi about this at her 6yo appt.  But- it's not like she does it all the time & I could identify "triggers" for these two recent fits.  I guess my long way of asking a short question is- do your kids around the same age have meltdowns sometimes?  One thing my mom does that we do not is try to "reason" with her, which I think exacerbates the situation.  Mom admits this, but the whole situation got me upset today so I am just hoping for some input. 

 

Re: Mom's of 6yo's- kindergarteners

  • You're certainly not alone.  My oldest will be 6 in December.  He still throws tantrums.  Not often but he does.  Getting overwhelmed, over heated or over tired often prompts a tantrum.  I'd say this is pretty darn normal and I don't think that there's anything wrong with your daughter.  I have known many 5 and 6 yos and at some point in time they have all thrown a fit.  I know my son is the King of tantrums (with his 3 yo brother following suit).  His last anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes...just depends on the situation.  Generally a cold glass of water and time out/alone time (3 yo brother likes to try and pester him which magnifies the tantrum) will get him to calm down.

    He had a huge fit tonight.  Today was the first day of Kindergarten and he's not used to being up at 6:15 or going to school all day.  I'd say his fit was normal under the circumstances.

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  • That's totally normal. 
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  • My DD is a 5 year old Kindergartner but she throws fits/tantrums (not often) but they almost always mean she is overtired.  Is your DD getting enough sleep/down time? DD sleeps roughly 10 hours at night and has naps time at school.  At home, I make her have quiet time when her brother is napping.  She doesn't nap at home. 

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  • My DD turned 5 in May but she definitely throws tantrums.  She had a 15 minute one today b/c she was overtired and she's very dramatic and good at carrying on!  (Of course I'd sent her to a different part of the house but I could still hear her.)  If her brother was going to the pool and she wasn't able to, she would have a huge fit for sure!!  I would say...totally normal!  Your description of your DD...sassy with attitude, strong willed ect.  is identical to mine!
    DD(7), DS(4.5), DS(2.5), DS(baby)
  • Thanks to everyone who replied- it made me feel like I'm not alone.

    As for sleep- child is a ball of energy & hasn't napped since 2.5 but she does get a good 10-12 hrs per night.  I appreciate all the input!

  • You could have described my middle daughter.  She'll be turning 6 in November and is headed to K in a few weeks. 

    DH and I joke that she is bipolar-we by no means think she is.  On most days she can be the most charming, entertaining, incredibly bright child.  However some days the switch flips and she has MASSIVE temper tantrums.  She is an incredibly strong willed kid (she gets it from both mom and dad) and this is just part of her personality.  She usually only has these tantrums with people she's comfortable with-me, DH, Grandmas, occasionally an aunt.  She's generally an angel at school.  

    I also do no "reason" with her when she reaches that point.  She goes into time out or whatever the discipline is no bargaining.  Trying to reason with her only makes it worse.

    Most of her tantrums happen when she's hungry, tired or not feeling well.  We recently discovered that she was getting strep throat over and over and some (unfortunately not all) of the tantrums were b/c she felt sick.   

    So no, you're not alone, and I think it's normal (at least for us).  

  • My DS is going on 7, and in 1st grade, but will still have a meltdown every now and then.  He had a huge one at my mom's house last time we visited, b/c he wasn't listening, so we took away his "Wii priveledge." 

    When it happens, we take away something he loves.  He also developed a ton of sassiness over the summer, and DH and I will absolutely not stand for it.

    I just hope this ends soon, I want my sweet boy back!

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  • Don't worry, it is normal.  My daughter who is 7 will throw tantrums.  They're kids, being tired, hungry, or just want their way can trigger them.  Be consistent with the discipline and hopefully we will all get through this phase.

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