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I'm gonna throat punch someone....(Vent long)

Bsgirl143Bsgirl143
in TTC After a Loss

My husband left for Qatar yesterday from me in Afghanistan. We have been deployed together for almost 4 months. He will hopefully only be in Qatar a few weeks. Everyday the guys I work with tell me how lucky I am to be deployed with my husband. And don't get me wrong I am thankful everyday that we have had together. However, it is tough as well. I see him for a few minutes after his shift is over. I have gone 2 days with out seeing or talking to him. I go home alone to my room everynight just like everyone else. But these are things I have never complained about. I hate when people start making you try to feel bad to make themselves feel better. This is the first time that we have been apart since the loss of our baby girl last November. It sucks. Now that we are deploying home seperatly I get to go home to an empty house with an empty nursery. These guys don't understand that. One of them has missed is daughter going from 3 months old to 7 months old...yeah it sucks and I feel bad for him, but don't try to make me feel bad...at least he gets to go home to his baby girl. I was supposed to be home with my 9 month old Baby girl right now...not deployed in Afghanistan with my husband. It is so hard not to yell that at these guys. I am supposed to be at home like the rest of their wives with my baby! We had prepared for him deploying while our baby was only going to be 5 months old...not for both of us to be here. Everyday that I see him here it is a constant reminder of why I am here and it blows! I know people don't think about what they say and I know I am lucky to have atleast deployed with my husband. But I wish people would just shut their mouths and leave me alone. They are going home to their wives and their babies! I am going home to knowone just as i have for the last 4 months. I'm sorry, I feel like I am complaining, but it drives me crazy! I wanted to say to them "yeah I am so lucky, hopefully every year right before deployment I can lose a baby so we can deploy together, yep I am the luckiest person a live!" But I don't..because I don't need to put other people down to make myself feel better. I feel better writing this now. Hopefully someone wont get punched in the throat now that I have go some of my frustration out. Thanks for being here to vent :)

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Re: I'm gonna throat punch someone....(Vent long)

  • tctibbetctibbe member

    I'm sorry, I can't even imagine what it would be like in your shoes.  Hopefully your DH will be home with you soon and you guys can spend some quality time together (finally).  HUGS!!  Have a safe trip home. 

    And again, thank you for serving for our country.  

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  • Zed58Zed58

    I'm so sorry.  I'm sure it's frustrating for you.  I can't even begin to pretend that I can imagine how you feel.  I will tell you this (not that it's going to help)... 

    I am absolutely amazed by what you and your husband do.  I'm envious of the strength and courage you both have.  I'm honored to you have you on my side and proud to call you both heros. 

     

    ((((((HUGS)))))) 

    Forever missing Baby Z #3 ~ Natural m/c 4.12.2010 at 11w2d
    *So proud and so lucky to be the mommy of two beautiful little girls
    and one handsome little man*
    RJ~5.17.2005~born @ 37w due to IUGR~4lbs 15ozs
    Al~4.5.2008~born big and healthy @ 38w~7lbs 9.5ozs
    Lil man~5.20.2011~born big and healthy @ 39w (after one he!! of a pregnancy)~8lbs 1oz
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • EricaK28EricaK28 member
    Hugs
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  • AniegbunaAniegbuna
    I am sure that they are just trying to help but they are not being very successful! As mentioned above, I am truly in awe of your strength. I cannot imagine going through what you are going through. All I can really say is that we are here for you whenever you are frustrated, angry or lonely. ))HUGS((
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  • elisbuelisbu member

    People always think their situation is worse. So while they aren't trying to make you feel worse, they aren't helping either!

    I am sorry that people don't understand. I can't even in my wildest dreams, put myself in shoes, so I'll leave it with I'm so sorry and thank you for what you do!

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  • MCH77MCH77 member

    ((HUGS))  My DH is in the Army and was deployed about 1 1/2 years ago for a year, and the things people would say to me that they thought would make me fell better.  Do they not think? 

    Same with going through a m/c... I don't understand why people say the things they do. 

    I am so sorry you have to be going through all of this.  I can't imagine the combination.  Vent, scream and throat punch someone  :)  I hope you and DH are home together soon.

    More ((HUGS))

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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  • Marta-EveMarta-Eve

    #1. I can't even imagine what it would be like in your situation. I don't know what I could say to be helpful so I'm just sending lots of hugs your way.

    #2. Thank you for serving. You are a very strong woman! 

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  • Runnergirl2242Runnergirl2242 member
    First of all, I want to say thank you to your and your husband for all the sacrifices that you have made to serve our country. I think that what you have both chosen to do is so honorable and awesome. Second, I want to tell you I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to deal with your loss while being deployed. I am sure that it is going to be rough when you get home because you probably have not had time to greive properly and I am so sorry for that. How long will you be home before your husband gets deployed home? Do you have any family that can help support you when you get back? Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. This board has been such a support for me and I am so glad that you found it too. Keep me posted how you are doing. ***HUG***
    DS Born 10/05/99 DSS Born 7/11/95 BFP 05/11/10 - Missed M/C, D&C 06/23/10 BFP 8/3/2010 - Ectopic, Methotrexate 8/17/10 BFP 1/27/11- Please God let this heart beat strong. Beta1 17dpo-314 Beta2 20dpo-883 Beta3 22dpo-1861 Beta4 25dpo-5918 DS2 Born 10/07/99 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD." 1Sam1v24to28.
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  • shelshel79shelshel79
    ((hugs))
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  • PrincessDi80PrincessDi80
    ((HUGS)) The grass is always greener, I am sorry that they are not understanding and supportive of your situation.  I can't even begin to fathom what you have been through, and to have to go through it all while serving our country.  Thank you for all you that you do and vent away here!
    image
    6/14/10 BFP; 6/30/10 Dx ectopic
    11/16/10 BFP #2; DD born 7/26/11
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers image
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  • Bsgirl143Bsgirl143
    Thank you for all the kind words. Hopefully me and the hubby will get back to England with in a week or so of each other. I appreciate all of you!!! I feel so much better after writting all that out :)
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  • BlakeGBlakeG member
    imageZed58:

    I'm so sorry.  I'm sure it's frustrating for you.  I can't even begin to pretend that I can imagine how you feel.  I will tell you this (not that it's going to help)... 

    I am absolutely amazed by what you and your husband do.  I'm envious of the strength and courage you both have.  I'm honored to you have you on my side and proud to call you both heros. 

     

    ((((((HUGS)))))) 

    This exactly.  Couldn't have said it better. 

    Natural BFP - 2/13/10, Natural M/C - 3/9/10 (Missed m/c found at 8wks 4days) Prenatal B/W shows I'm a Beta Thal carrier & so is DH. Onto IVF w/PGD... Jan 2011 - IVF #1 - C/P Mar 2011 - IVF #2 - Day 5 PGD, no ET, 5 snow babies May 2011 - FET #1 - BFP!! Twins!!! 2/9/12 - Our precious miracles arrived! Baby A 7lbs 13oz & Baby B 5lbs 13oz
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