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It just hit me..HARD

ksanchez1033ksanchez1033
in Military Families

I don't post much on this board but thought that if anyone would understand how I am feeling it would be you ladies!

I am expecting our first baby due in March and DH is deploying for the first time in April. He is ready because he is a man and wants to prove himself. I understand that. I am so sad about the whole thing, I knew he was going to deploy at some point in our life but I didn't count on having a brand new baby and them him having to leave us. I was looking at baby clothes for Marine babies and there were a few that just got to me and now I'm crying my eyes out. I don't want him to leave. I want him here with me and the baby. I want to be selfish and keep him..I know that it is better that the baby will be young so he/she won't remember or miss daddy and I know that we will make it through this I am just hormonal and emotional and sad.

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Re: It just hit me..HARD

  • danamh83danamh83

    I'm in a lil of the same boat bc our baby will be a lil under a year old when DH deploys again.  My plan is to just make the best of the time we do have together and to constantly change the batteries in our video camera and digital camera when he's gone.  lol.

    One of the wives in DH's unit told me that you can have DH record himself reading a story book and play it for the baby.  This way the baby can get used to his voice and will kinda know who daddy is when they are reunited.

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  • desmerelda317desmerelda317
    Hormones are the best aren't they? :P  In all seriousness though, deployments are never fun and they're never at the best time.  DH's last deployment was scheduled a week before my son had a major skull operation.  Thankfully, his CO let him stay for the surgery.  But he was gone as soon as we were home from the hospital and let me tell you that taking care of DS on my own during his recovery while I was also dealing with the emotions of my husband leaving made for one of the most difficult months of my life.  I don't write that to discourage you but so you know that even the most difficult deployments come to an end and the thing that keeps you going the entire time is looking forward to that homecoming :)  Surround yourself with friends who can support you.  Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it (I wish I'd asked for more help when I was taking care of DS on my own), and be sure and get a babysitter every now and then so you can have some YOU time.
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  • DuckLoverDuckLover
    imageksanchez1033:

    I don't post much on this board but thought that if anyone would understand how I am feeling it would be you ladies!

    I am expecting our first baby due in March and DH is deploying for the first time in April. He is ready because he is a man and wants to prove himself. I understand that. I am so sad about the whole thing, I knew he was going to deploy at some point in our life but I didn't count on having a brand new baby and them him having to leave us. I was looking at baby clothes for Marine babies and there were a few that just got to me and now I'm crying my eyes out. I don't want him to leave. I want him here with me and the baby. I want to be selfish and keep him..I know that it is better that the baby will be young so he/she won't remember or miss daddy and I know that we will make it through this I am just hormonal and emotional and sad.

    It'll be okay.  :)  My DH left when i was 37 weeks.  Picture in my siggy.  It was a shiity night. 

    I was visibly shaken when we found out when he was leaving.  First they were talking october and then it got pushed up to march and i lost it. 

    DH met DS because he came home on emergency leave bc he was born with a life threatening defect but he was 3 weeks old when he went back to Afghan.  It kills me that he might not remember him but I show him pictures and when he calls he talks to him and we have a monkey with his voice in it from build a bear.  They have a program called United through reading.  Look into that.  My DH is still trying to do but he's so darn busy. urgh.

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  • JLynne427JLynne427
    I potentially feel you lol- DH is not/has never deployed but he is ALWAYS wanting to go. We are actually ttc #1, and if we get pregnant in the next few months, it will be around his "deployment window" (can't remember the "technical" term for it), which means he has a likelyhood of getting selected, and I am so afraid it will happen. He has never deployed before after being in the AF for 7 years, but knowing my luck it will happen then. I totally feel for you, because I could be in that same situation. Tongue Tied
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  • redbaron20redbaron20

    imageJLynne427:
    I potentially feel you lol- DH is not/has never deployed but he is ALWAYS wanting to go. We are actually ttc #1, and if we get pregnant in the next few months, it will be around his "deployment window" (can't remember the "technical" term for it), which means he has a likelyhood of getting selected, and I am so afraid it will happen.  Tongue Tied

    Us, too. We know when he's leaving and if we get pregnant soon he won't be home for the birth. I

     OP- haven't registered it yet, but I know it will be hard. This will be our 2nd deployment so at least I have one under my belt and know what to expect emotionally. Just focus on finding things to keep him connected and make cute things for you to send him. Make sure you build a good support system around you to have when he leaves. It won't be easy, but try to think positively.:hugs:

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  • *AirForceWife**AirForceWife*

    Just wanted to sympathize...

    DH is going to be one of the only ones eligible for deployment in his shop and they've been notifying guys that there will be a wave of deployments starting Feb...well, I'm due Jan 22nd.  Fortunately, he should be there for the birth even if not for much time after that.  Our only hope really is if his name gets pulled off of the list since he's applying to officer training and the board meets in Feb.  The timing is all too close to call right now and who ever knows with the military anyway.

     One thing I do know is that us military wives are a tough bunch - because we have to be.   

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  • ncr279ncr279
    I totally feel you!  DS was born June 17 and DH left for BCT June 23.  I know that BCT is not as long as a deployment, but it is still hard being away from DH with a new baby.  I am making it though, because I know that I have DS here with me who is a little part of DH. I also know that DH would be here with us if he could and that he REALLY wants to be here and misses home.  BCT is only 10 weeks, but I have talked to him twice since he has been gone.  At least with your DH deployed you will be able to talk to him more often.  I think that has been the hardest part is not being able to hear his voice.  If I could talk to him even if only once a week, it would have been much easier.  I had a friend whose DH was deployed and from what she said she got to talk to him fairly often, so at least you will have that!  HTH!
    BFP#1 - 10/09, DS born 6/17/10 BFP#2 - 09/12, EDD 6/6/13, MMC 10/31/12 @8w5d, D&C 11/30/12 Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Anniversary
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  • CCCSLP1CCCSLP1
    imageksanchez1033:

    I don't post much on this board but thought that if anyone would understand how I am feeling it would be you ladies!

    I am expecting our first baby due in March and DH is deploying for the first time in April. He is ready because he is a man and wants to prove himself. I understand that. I am so sad about the whole thing, I knew he was going to deploy at some point in our life but I didn't count on having a brand new baby and them him having to leave us. I was looking at baby clothes for Marine babies and there were a few that just got to me and now I'm crying my eyes out. I don't want him to leave. I want him here with me and the baby. I want to be selfish and keep him..I know that it is better that the baby will be young so he/she won't remember or miss daddy and I know that we will make it through this I am just hormonal and emotional and sad.

     

    I could have written this post myself. I am due Nov 12th with our first baby (a girl) and DH deploys at the end of Nov.  We found out about the deployment 3 days after we found out I was pregnant.  Before that we had only heard there was a "slight" chance they'd deploy some time in mid 2011.  It took me until just a few weeks ago to start realizing that I truly do need to enjoy the time I have left with DH before he leaves.  I'm lucky he'll be here for the birth.  I have ditched my negative attitude for the most part, but it still hits me at times and I just start bawling.  It is sad, but it would be sad no matter when he had to go.  My only advice is to try to focus on the positives and know you are lucky to have a DH who can't wait to come home to you and your LO.

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  • futuremrscohickfuturemrscohick

    My hubs leaves in the next few weeks for deployment and will miss the baby being born.  It freaking blows, but I'm just glad the baby will only be two or three months old when hubs gets back. Try and find the bright side... I know it's rough.  But think of how busy you'll be and how fast the time will fly when he's gone. 

    And you're right, there are a ton of cute things for Marine babies :) Can't wait to buy some for my little girl to surprise her daddy when he gets home!

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  • ksanchez1033ksanchez1033
    thanks ladies...these words were really uplifting and helpful!! It is always nice to know you aren't alone in the things you are going through!!
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