Community› The Bump Local Boards› Austin Babies
Austin Babies
New Discussion

NBR(obviously): WWYD? More family advice.

austxgrlaustxgrl
in Austin Babies
You guys are so great about giving advice on family so I'm back asking for more.  My brother's wedding was this past weekend and there were a lot of family and family friends at the wedding/surrounding events.  It was so great to see so many people but I learned after talking to everyone that my mom has been telling everyone a lot of very personal things about my life that I have specifically asked her not to tell anyone . Actually she has not told them a lot, she has told them (them being EVERYONE) EVERYTHING (with a whole lot of added exagerations).  I am a pretty open person but everyone has things about their lives that they don't want the world to know like details of my marriage/fertility, etc. that really is no one's business unless I feel like I want to divulge the info.  My mom is nutty but I never expected her, or anyone else for that matter, to tell people things especially when I specifically asked her to not tell people.  Anyway, it all got back to me and I'm pretty upset but I'm not sure if I should confront her or if I should just let it go with a lesson learned.  I am cautious to confront her becuase Lord knows I don't need any more drama in my life and by no means want to invite it in, but on the other hand I want to let her know that I know that she has told people and that I am upset and hurt by it.  WWYD?
Report Reply to Post

Re: NBR(obviously): WWYD? More family advice.

  • ali-1411ali-1411 member

    Ugh.  My mom is the exact same way.  DH puts it best, She sees information as currency. 

    I've tried confronting her but its always the same.  She would never want to hurt me, she's sorry, blah blah blah.  Then she'll go and relay our conversation to everyone she knows.

    Lesson learned.  Don't tell my mom things unless you don't mind the whole world knowing.  It sucks, but you can't change people.  I confide in my husband and my best friend instead.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • NessiaNessia
    *I* would probably tell my mom and then not tell her much of anything from that point on but I understand you don't want to avoid more drama. If you really want to avoid the drama, don't say anything but don't confide in her anymore. If she asks you (in the future) about not confiding in her anymore tell her and by this point hopefully you won't have the same anger you have now.
    Report Reply
  • balihaigirlbalihaigirl member

    honestly, i would tell my mom that i found out she had told everyone x,y,z and that you now no longer trust her & that you will not ever disclose any personal information again.  and i would stick to it.  you've been through enough and you need people in your life who are going to be a positive influence who aren't going to spread gossip.  that's hurtful.  i know that you must have other friends in your life that you can talk to and know that whatever you tell them will stay behind sealed lips.  if you're mother can't respect your personal life than she doesn't need to know all the details.

    sorry austxgrl.  :(

    ***I wanted to add that my mom is kind of like this.  I never tell her anything unless I want my grandma to know.  My mom tells my grandma EVERYTHING.  So, for the most part, I keep a lot of personal things betw my husband and I.  My husband is my greatest confidant.  :)

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • ChandleyChandley

    imageNessia:
    *I* would probably tell my mom and then not tell her much of anything from that point on but I understand you don't want to avoid more drama. If you really want to avoid the drama, don't say anything but don't confide in her anymore. If she asks you (in the future) about not confiding in her anymore tell her and by this point hopefully you won't have the same anger you have now.

     

    this (the bolded part)

    image
    B&W Photo by Wildhouse Photography

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • thethompsthethomps member

    Ugh.  I feel your pain.  My mom does very similar things.  I personally have confronted her on it and then am very careful about what I share.  She tries to get info on my sister, too, so I have to set very clear boundaries about what I will and will not share with her regarding my sister, too.

    It stinks to have to censor yourself with your mom, but if she can't keep confidences then, unfortunately, you will have to watch what you say.  Sad

    No siggy pic until TB gets rid of Twitter and FB links Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • abh1977abh1977

    imageNessia:
    *I* would probably tell my mom and then not tell her much of anything from that point on but I understand you don't want to avoid more drama. If you really want to avoid the drama, don't say anything but don't confide in her anymore. If she asks you (in the future) about not confiding in her anymore tell her and by this point hopefully you won't have the same anger you have now.

     

    Ditto this.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this - I have some serious family drama of my own, so I feel your pain.  I tend to let it eat at me if I don't tell someone if they've hurt me, so I usually end up telling them just to make it easier for me.  I've been known to do it via email.....I know, it's kind of a cop-out, but it allows me to really think through what I'm saying and phrase things the best way possible.  Keeps me from putting my foot in my mouth and letting my anger/hurt show more that I want it to.  Good luck! 

    Oh, and YGM.  I hope.  Depending on what kind of mood yahoo is in today.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    "There is a fine line between a princess and a witch...thinking you're one does NOT give you the right to act like the other." my grandmother
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"