I'm on CD12, and calling it a failure, just due to my inability to have a normal chart.
I'm pissed off with the water company, for scheduling an appointment to replace my water meter on September 22. Now I have to let some random stranger in my house while I'm trying to be miserable, and mourn the loss of my daughter.
Also, my co-workers are dipshits some days.
Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008
M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010
My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
For the week....and I am forcing myself to limit it to 2.
1. My chart is so effed up this cycle. I am getting tanish CM now and it's only 9DPO and I'm on progesterone. No, I'm not phishing. We did not have good timing this cycle and I'm just wanting to get to the next one. I am just so frustrated by this not making sense.
2. My boss is being extra douchey and wants me to move offices to be nearer to her, but away from all the staff I work with. This after I was just told I would not have to move. It is a shitty office and will my 3rd in 6 months.
Fvck this Sh!t, big time.
Missed m/c 11.09 | Missed m/c 3.10 | We miss you & love you so.
~ ~ ~
Verizon. I'm so sick of their shlt. I had our internet and downloads blocked because Noah sometimes gets into them when he plays with our phone. I keep getting $1.99 charges and I have to keep calling them and I'm getting pissed.
I can't wait to get away from them.
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The freaking dog crate I finally convinced DH we needed came last night... wrong one.
ER scheduled for the day I'm supposed to do a training. DH got all 'super helpful' and called my nurse. She told him NO activity for 24 hours so now he's insisting I don't do it!
Sorry - mine are actually not that great right now... gimme a week and I'll have something good.
2. The fact that the one work trip DH has to take the entire year will most likely fall during my first cycle of Clomid when I will likely be ovulating.
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1) Dh who likes to ignore our TTC issues says last night, you aren't getting p/g because you are so stressed out. I know this came straight out of his sister's mouth. I'd like to slap both their mouths right off their faces.
2) Work is boring. I don't need more time to obsess over things
3) I just discovered my RE is the most expensive one in town with the worst success rates...off to do more research.
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The entire fvcking universe is p!ssing me off today (well, all week, really).
1. I have EPIC MF. I'm getting all the early pregnancy symptoms, which I never have. Sore tits, heartburn, fatigue, massive cravings for fruit and milk, MOODINESS. But I think it's probably just crazy bad PMS and that ticks me off.
2. The weather. Seriously, Mother Nature? Eat a bag of dicks.
I feel like I'm about to go all Hulk at any moment. Gaarrrr!!!
12 long, hard years of TTC- Miscarriages, losses, lots of treatments & drugs & IVF
Natural BFP (WTF?!) - 06/04/11 ~ lots of complication and drama, but sweet baby Adele born 02/07/12!
BFP #million -another girl for us! EDD - 05-08-15 (but will come early)
- We can't even adopt a cat right. We fell in love with a cat at the local shelter. We own a condo. We are allowed to have a cat, but we must ask permission from the board of trustees. We contacted our property manager who said that the board would review our request at their next meeting. In October. Can't anything go smoothly? I'm about to get the cat anyways. The board doesn't do any sory of inspection and they list no reasons why they might deny someone's pet request.
I know it's a stupid thing to get annoyed with, but I'm tired of all the waiting in my life.
-I decided to take Tamoxifen next month and my mother is freaking out and telling me that I'm going to give myself cancer. Great. So helpful.
Thank the gods that I am away for vacation next week.
3. the fact that I have not worked out diligently (or at all) in ages, and feel gross. (not even going to think about how I actually look . . .suffice to say, I am about to unbutton my pants button after lunch. no, really). but I feeeeel gross.
m/c#1 07/16/08 (11 weeks), m/c#2 10/10/08 (8 weeks).
and then nothing since except every test possible (no answers).
IUI#1 and #2: BFNs
Super lucky to be buddies with Peetie.
Our out of nowhere, surprise DD born 5/29/2011
2. I quit running in May and stuck to long walks b/c I convinced myself that my running caused my m/c and is preventing me from getting pg. Now I'm just out of shape and still not pregnant. Plus i read a story about Kara Goucher, who is training for the Olympic marathon and recently found out she is pregnant. She got pregnant with like 0% body fat and running 100+ miles a week. I want this cycle to just end so I can start running again.
HHMM...so my sister and the family dog moved in on Saturday. Abridged story...my dad passed away in May and we are selling the house. My sister is starting grad school full time with no job and now nowhere to live. My brother hates the dog. So now the sister and the dog...both of whom I love...are living here...and driving me crazy! Really...my sister is driving me crazy because she is never around and absolutely NO help with the dog! WTH
I had dinner with my MIL and SIL the other day and, right before my very eyes, they spent approximately 400 minutes talking about a hairdresser they know who just got pg with her second one on the first try. They were all "Oh, I never had any trouble with that, either! HA HA!!!" and "Yep, same here!!! He'd just look at me and I'd be KU!!! HA HA!!!" I just stood there.
Funk that.
BFP#1 10/19/09, m/c 12/5/09, BFP#2 2/03/12, m/c 2/12/12, BFP#3 3/18/13, LO born 11/22/13
1. DH is being an a$$hat. I'd give you details, but I'm too tired, and typing it all would start the whole fight all over.
2. We need to clean out the spare room that will be DS's room. I'm totally pissed because I am a CONTROL FREAK and can't finish on my own. I'll said a$$hat's help to get the rest out. Which means I will have to talk to him. Makes me homicidal.
3. My 4 days off between jobs is going all too fast.
2. I am tired of everyone telling me to just suck it up and keep trying.
3. I am pissed at DH because he doesn't have to go through all the physical sh!t that I do related to IVF and m/c's and therefore he doesn't understand how hard it all is.
Some *** at worked asked me if I was pregnant because I was sitting on the bench outside and apparently my fat roll looked like a growing fetus. That was my interpretation of...
"Oh I didn't know you were pregnant."
My response: "I'm not pregnant, just had too much lunch" And I was thinking in my head I'm sorry I over ate at lunch because I'm fvckin depressed and eat way more than I should.
*** then says: "Well isn't it about time you get on that. You've been married a year now it should be time." I told her we were working on it. She then says "Well just stop trying and then it will happen" FML
Married 8/23/09
Dx: Endometriosis
mc 2003, mc 2005, mc Oct. 2009 and ectopic pg Feb. 2010
Baby Girl Gracie Mae born 5 weeks early on 7/6/11. Baby boy JT born full term on 7/5/12.
We are blessed!
Re: Fvck This Sh!t Friday!
There's lots pissing me off this week.
I'm on CD12, and calling it a failure, just due to my inability to have a normal chart.
I'm pissed off with the water company, for scheduling an appointment to replace my water meter on September 22. Now I have to let some random stranger in my house while I'm trying to be miserable, and mourn the loss of my daughter.
Also, my co-workers are dipshits some days.
For the week....and I am forcing myself to limit it to 2.
1. My chart is so effed up this cycle. I am getting tanish CM now and it's only 9DPO and I'm on progesterone. No, I'm not phishing. We did not have good timing this cycle and I'm just wanting to get to the next one. I am just so frustrated by this not making sense.
2. My boss is being extra douchey and wants me to move offices to be nearer to her, but away from all the staff I work with. This after I was just told I would not have to move. It is a shitty office and will my 3rd in 6 months.
Fvck this Sh!t, big time.
Missed m/c 11.09 | Missed m/c 3.10 | We miss you & love you so.
~ ~ ~
Formerly toddandjulie
Verizon. I'm so sick of their shlt. I had our internet and downloads blocked because Noah sometimes gets into them when he plays with our phone. I keep getting $1.99 charges and I have to keep calling them and I'm getting pissed.
I can't wait to get away from them.
So much more fitting than a Thankful Thursday...
Sorry - mine are actually not that great right now... gimme a week and I'll have something good.
1. My chart.
2. The fact that the one work trip DH has to take the entire year will most likely fall during my first cycle of Clomid when I will likely be ovulating.
1. AF is tormenting me. I have had spotting off an on for 3 days no, but no AF. I'm scared to start provera because that will just put it off.
2. Jobs that pay less than unemployment, especially when they don't offer benefits.
3. A mother who always has to one up me. I'm ready to quit talking to her.
FTS!
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
1) BFF'ingN & 1 yr from my last BFP tomorrow. Awesome
2) DH's company is on my sh!t list right now
3) The bump seriously sucks today. I tried to get on about 10 times before it let me on.
I'm still bleeding and so over it.
Oooh can I join?
1) Dh who likes to ignore our TTC issues says last night, you aren't getting p/g because you are so stressed out. I know this came straight out of his sister's mouth. I'd like to slap both their mouths right off their faces.
2) Work is boring. I don't need more time to obsess over things
3) I just discovered my RE is the most expensive one in town with the worst success rates...off to do more research.
The entire fvcking universe is p!ssing me off today (well, all week, really).
1. I have EPIC MF. I'm getting all the early pregnancy symptoms, which I never have. Sore tits, heartburn, fatigue, massive cravings for fruit and milk, MOODINESS. But I think it's probably just crazy bad PMS and that ticks me off.
2. The weather. Seriously, Mother Nature? Eat a bag of dicks.
I feel like I'm about to go all Hulk at any moment. Gaarrrr!!!
12 long, hard years of TTC-
Miscarriages, losses, lots of treatments & drugs & IVF
Natural BFP (WTF?!) - 06/04/11 ~ lots of complication and drama, but sweet baby Adele born 02/07/12!
BFP #million -another girl for us! EDD - 05-08-15 (but will come early)
- We can't even adopt a cat right. We fell in love with a cat at the local shelter. We own a condo. We are allowed to have a cat, but we must ask permission from the board of trustees. We contacted our property manager who said that the board would review our request at their next meeting. In October. Can't anything go smoothly? I'm about to get the cat anyways. The board doesn't do any sory of inspection and they list no reasons why they might deny someone's pet request.
I know it's a stupid thing to get annoyed with, but I'm tired of all the waiting in my life.
-I decided to take Tamoxifen next month and my mother is freaking out and telling me that I'm going to give myself cancer. Great. So helpful.
Thank the gods that I am away for vacation next week.
1. clients.
2. work(ing)
3. the fact that I have not worked out diligently (or at all) in ages, and feel gross. (not even going to think about how I actually look . . .suffice to say, I am about to unbutton my pants button after lunch. no, really). but I feeeeel gross.
1. Huge temp drop today at 9DPO.
2. I quit running in May and stuck to long walks b/c I convinced myself that my running caused my m/c and is preventing me from getting pg. Now I'm just out of shape and still not pregnant. Plus i read a story about Kara Goucher, who is training for the Olympic marathon and recently found out she is pregnant. She got pregnant with like 0% body fat and running 100+ miles a week. I want this cycle to just end so I can start running again.
3. Summer vacation is over.
I am so pissed about not being pg today!!!
I actually talked to DH about saying FVCK IT, no kids for us!
I think I am going to make a counseling appointment for myself. TTC is getting on my last nerve!
THE END!
I had dinner with my MIL and SIL the other day and, right before my very eyes, they spent approximately 400 minutes talking about a hairdresser they know who just got pg with her second one on the first try. They were all "Oh, I never had any trouble with that, either! HA HA!!!" and "Yep, same here!!! He'd just look at me and I'd be KU!!! HA HA!!!" I just stood there.
Funk that.
1. DH is being an a$$hat. I'd give you details, but I'm too tired, and typing it all would start the whole fight all over.
2. We need to clean out the spare room that will be DS's room. I'm totally pissed because I am a CONTROL FREAK and can't finish on my own. I'll said a$$hat's help to get the rest out. Which means I will have to talk to him. Makes me homicidal.
3. My 4 days off between jobs is going all too fast.
FTS
1. I lost my baby this week.
2. I am tired of everyone telling me to just suck it up and keep trying.
3. I am pissed at DH because he doesn't have to go through all the physical sh!t that I do related to IVF and m/c's and therefore he doesn't understand how hard it all is.
FTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some *** at worked asked me if I was pregnant because I was sitting on the bench outside and apparently my fat roll looked like a growing fetus. That was my interpretation of...
"Oh I didn't know you were pregnant."
My response: "I'm not pregnant, just had too much lunch" And I was thinking in my head I'm sorry I over ate at lunch because I'm fvckin depressed and eat way more than I should.
*** then says: "Well isn't it about time you get on that. You've been married a year now it should be time." I told her we were working on it. She then says "Well just stop trying and then it will happen" FML