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TTC After a Loss 6 Months+
Scout05
member
Back from adoption meeting (long mentioned)
Scout05
member
It was certainly interesting.
We are very comfortable with the organization, their approach to adoption and placement, and the financial breakdown of the fees. For sure, this is the group we will go through to bring our child home.
However, they told us you cannot be actively recieving fertility treatments, seeing a fertility specialist or be pregnant while working with them. Which was different from how I had understood my first conversation with them.
Of course I understand why this is their policy. I just sort of...felt like my safety net (that sounds bad, but I can't come up with the right word) had been taken away. I think I had been banking on - no matter what happens with this pregnancy - we are working toward bringing our baby home. The way it had been explained to me - which I just must have misunderstood - was that you had to wait six months post loss, but other than that you were free to pursue TTC as well as adoption.
Obviously, this doesn't really change anything, that much. Just the timing. We'll need to wait - please Lord, until after April of next year - and then we'll start the process full speed ahead. I need to stop feeling overwhelmed and realize this is all positive and good, and stop being so impatient.
It's great to have identified the group we want to work with (Catholic Charities). That is a HUGE step. We just need to wait a bit until we make the next one.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Back from adoption meeting (long mentioned)
I think it's great that you are taking this one step at a time. The path hasn't changed, you are just taking another route. Once April rolls around and you are ready to start working on your second child, I know you are going to be an awesome candidate for adoption. I mean, who can resist that doodle face, she should be the cover page for your application!
I am very excited for you - Identifying the agency that you want to work with is a huge step in my opinion!
Is there anything that you can do in the interim to speed things along come April? I know that Dandy has to get her certification (I think that's the term she used) as a Foster parent before they can peruse adoption.... I'm not sure if that's a requirement for your agency too, but if it is, surely the rules to become "Foster Parent Certified" are more flexible when it comes to your TTC status.... I'm completely ignorant when it comes to this subject but I am very interested in learning more!
I know this was your "safety net" plan, however, I'm really praying for your little April shower!!!
Oh my. Well that's interesting.
I'm so excited for you! Picking the agency is huge. I'm so glad you feel comfortable, and are ready to work with them.
I'm sorry the course changed on you. That's weird that the stories changed.
I'm excited for you, but sorry for the surprise.
And thanks for passing this along. It will certainly give me a heads up for my meeting next week.
Lots of love to you! You WILL bring home both your babies!
BFP 12/18/2009. HB 1/4/2010. NO HB 1/18/2010. D&C 1/19/2010
April 2011 IUI #1 BFN. High FSH and other issues.
May 2011 Chose to build our family through adoption
September 2011 Actively waiting for a match
11/26/11 Surprise BFP * DD born 7/23/12
-m/c at 11w2d due to partial molar 2008 -m/c #2 2009
Beautiful daughter born February 2011
**Ultimate TTCALer 2009**
I am so glad you love the agency!!! It's kind of a bummer that you can't be under any kind of IF treatment, especially since (as we all know), they can take a while. That is one thing about this process- it's weird having to "get permission" from some agency to make a move. But April is going to be here before you know it (with little Baby Brandau!).
Mocha... You're right- going the foster-to-adopt route would allow for Allison and her DH to do pretty much whatever they wanted TTC wise. But I know they want to adopt an infant... Sadly, many infants in the system are born addicted and have not had their parents' rights terminated yet (two of the reasons we are going for a toddler). I hear LOTS of stories of people who raise addicted infants, and just when the baby starts to really flourish,the loser parents try to get them back. It's heart-breaking, and not what you want to do if you are looking for a permanent situation. And there is today's Adoption 101 class!!!
Glad to hear you like the agency. That's a huge step. And I know this might not be a popular viewpoint for some of us here, but I really do think sometimes God/the universe/whatever has to get certain things lined up right. So, the fact that you might have pushed your time line back just means it's because it'll take that long to put your baby in the right place at the right time for you to meet him/her.
But, I kind of have to raise an eyebrow at their rule about TTC (and having been raised, confirmed, and married in the Catholic Church I feel perfectly qualified to call them out on this)....Um, NO TTC during the adoption process? That seems to rather counter intuitive to the whole "it's good to procreate" attitude. I can kind of see how, even if weren't a rule, you might want to downplay fertility treatments (like IVF or something) to the Catholic Charities people, but TTC the natural way? Yet another tick mark in the "why I was lapsed for 20 years before meeting DH" column.