Not really PPD. I'm "stuck" at home with my 16 month baby. I used to get out because I worked for 10 years. Now I have two wonderful kids and I just get angry, when he cries, when he spills milk/spits milk, when he dumps cheerios all over. Why can't I find a job? Why am I angry over things that I know are just things a baby does?
DH happened to call me when I was sobbing and is coming home now, then we pick up DD from preschool/daycare. I just feel stupid. Also, I'd rather not go on medication. I really don't want to be crazy.
Re: Totally embarrassed
Cut yourself a break....you are not meant to live, breathe and be "on baby duty" 24/7....That's insane.
You are tired, as most of us are, and there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Recognize the exhaustion is causing the frustration not because you are a "bad mom"
There is a huge stigma attached with medication but to be honest would you say no to meds if you were diabetic or had to be on medicine for a disease?
Anxiety and Depression and even sheer exhaustion often feel like "diseases" because it leaves us feeling overwhelmed...If you need meds, you need meds. If you don't then you don't. But don't feel that you should be embarrassed because of how you feel. Motherhood is not a cherry picnic that Suzy Sunshine invented. It's waking up every day and facing challenges (no matter how small or mundane) and conquering them.
Give yourself a hug and know you are feeling normal feelings.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
First of all, I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
However, being on medication, or feeling this way does not make you crazy.
I would definitely say you need to talk to someone -- your OB or a psychiatrist. If they suggest medication in addition to talk therapy I would seriously consider it.
I spend a lot less time feeling crazy now that I'm on Zoloft.