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redshoegirl
member
the strangest unsolicited advice I've gotten so far
redshoegirl
member
I was having a conversation about STTN with a friend who has two children (ages 2 and 3.5):
HER: So how's it going with the sleep?
ME: Pretty good. We have the occasional rough night but they STTN most of the time from about 10.30pm to 6.30-7.00am.
HER: Oh that's good. You know you have to let them cry it out, right?
ME: Yeah I...wait, what?
HER: They have to cry it out. It's the ONLY thing that works to get them sleeping.
ME: Is that what you did with your sons?
HER: Yep! It took like an hour and a half of crying each night but eventually they got the idea.
ME: So when did they start sleeping through the night?
HER: Oh they don't. They still wake up in the middle of the night and Youngest Son wants to nurse.
So she's recommending that I do CIO with my boys (who are already STTN, with the exception of the last few nights - I suspect a slightly early 4 month wakeful or teething) and swears it's the only thing that works - even though her children still don't STTN at 2 and 3.5 years old.
Righty-o then...
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Re: the strangest unsolicited advice I've gotten so far
It makes me sad that she lets her kids cry themselves to sleep at night, every night. That's not the plan for CIO even. I swear people don't read the books or get the whole advice, they just go, "Oh! let them cry." Personally, I don't have the heart to do it.
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Totally agree (though I'm not sure if they still cry every night now - I don't think they do, but they do still wake up at night).
Personally, I think it works for some children, when (as you said) properly done - I believe the theory that some babies relieve tension by crying and others build tension by crying. CIO works for children who relieve tension that way but does nothing for tension builders. My boys are both tension builders,so it wouldn't work for them regardless...but like you, I just don't think I could do it anyway.
uh, ok then.......!
Your pics are SO cute! (and I don't know why, but I can always see your pics but rarely anyone else's siggy pics)
We HAD to do a modified version of CIO... While I would NOT recommend it to anyone or advertise that it's what we did, it's what ended up working for us. It SUCKED big time! It lasted for 3 nights about 1 hour the first night and each night was progressively less. I hated it but at the same time I knew Bella needed more sleep in order for her to grow and I needed more sleep in order for me to be a happy healthy mom to her and wife to my husband.
I should add that our problem was not getting her to go to sleep, she does that just fine. Put her down drowsy but awake and out she'd go. Our problem was middle of the night waking. We started by consoling her for less time than we had in the previous nights. Then we slowly just eased into the modified CIO. I felt like the worst mom ever but at the same time, after three short nights, she was STTN. Now she occasionally wakes up, fusses a few minutes and then hits her glowworm a couple of times and is back off to slumber land. If she fusses more than a few minutes, I go in, change her diaper if she's wet and back down she goes.
Like I said, I would NEVER recommend this to any one!! It was torture for me!
The strange advice made me chuckle a few times over. Oh dear!
I agree with you Lisa, re some kids being tension releasers and some being tension builders. My kids are one of each.
Maya, I could NEVER do CIO on. She just wouldn't have any of the whole 'put her down in her crib' business. Ohhhhhhh noooooo! I also could not put her through it either. I sensed it wouldn't work with her, that it would just bring a lot of stress to her and me.
The couple of times I, out of frustration, put her down in her crib (after a few hours of trying to put her down) and just let her howl...well it took 2-3 hours for her to finally fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion.
It was gruelling! To be honest, I was just at the end of my tether and was pissed off at her and feeling like I couldnt cop a break when it came to her and sleep and wanted to see how long it would take for her to give up and go to sleep. Also, her crib was right beside my bed so I could see her and she could see me. She just wanted in our bed.
Samara, on the other hand, used to just lay there until she fell asleep. I could put her down awake in her cot and just walk away! It was so wonderful!
However, she changed a little and now she will sometimes do what I call "letting the grizzly bears out". Sometimes she just grizzles on and off for awhile and that's ok...it's her way of getting to sleep. I've learnt what is a 'grizzle' and to leave her to it, what is a "mum, I need to burp, please pick me up" cry and what is a "Ok, mum...not playing around here, come and get me up, NOW!" cry.
that makes no sense to me that it didn't work for her and yet she is telling you to do that
haha that is a cute description too. this is what i have to do, too. i can definitely tell if she is fussing/crying (her "fake" cry as i call it) or seriously crying like "i'm not going to stop crying until you come get me".... i used to come soothe her no matter what, even if it was a small cry and quickly learned that i was only making things worse...she would escalate and get frantic...whereas if i just let her cry for a bit more, she'd settle on her own and go to sleep...
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Yeah, I understand when parents recommend something controversial that worked for them, but why say to do it if it didn't? Although the even weirder thing to me is that she SWEARS it worked for her...and yet it clearly didn't if they're still not sleeping through the night.
I really just don't get it!