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TTC After a Loss
My Weekend (kinda long sorry)
So, we went to visit my MIL and BIL this weekend and as usual it was eventful. My neice (who turns 17 next week) tells me that she wants to join the peace corp. Which is an wonderful aspiration, but this is a kid who has never had to step into a school let alone deal with the real world. I know that I am not going to get this written out correctly, but she has no idea what she wants to get herself into. She is scared to drive, or get her license, she does not want to go to a public school because her mother has taught her that there are evil people there that will try to persuade her to the "wrong side". She thinks that women should have all of their rights taken away and that they should go back to the way that they were in the 1880s. And, she wants to request to go to the war zone of Africa. Try keeping a straight face and not telling her that you think that she has lost her mind. Because she is a teenager, and the more you say no that you do not think that it is a good idea the more that she will push to do it. She may or may not do it, but this is not the worse of the events of the weekend.
She and her boyfriend are fighting. They got back together a month ago after being broken up for 3 months because she would not sleep with him. I believe her when she says that she has not. But he has a tendency to take her phone and go thru it to see who she is talking to. So, last week, she did the same to him. And you know as well I as I do that things like this never turn out well. So she found pictures. Pictures of a girl that her boyfriend knows, with the girl posing. Naked. She questioned him about it and he told her that they slept with each other during their break and he was not getting rid of them because they have special meanings/memories for him. Yes, he is a real winner. As of yesterday they broke up. The family is actually thrilled.
And the worst part. The part that I wish that I could say something other than to help guide a teenager. Though I am glad that she feels comfortable enough to talk to me. But this last event was my BIL. My BIL has a very close female friend. Normally it would not worry DH or I. DH's best friend is a girl. They adore each other, but not in any other way than that of a close friend. Our problem lies with the fact that she is now commonly called "The Girlfriend", that his wife is starting to sense problems, BIL spent most of Saturday complaining about his wife (something that he has never done and no she was not there), he is now seeing The Girlfriend behind his wife's back and saying to MIL that what she does not know will not hurt her, he took The Girlfriend and his daughter on a family outing yesterday to the zoo (no his wife does not know), and he has started calling The Girlfriend "dear" on the phone. Now all of this could be completely innocent, but all of it together seems very telling of something that *might* be going on with him.
Sorry that this is so long, but I had to let it out some place and I promised DH that I would not talk to people IRL about the BIL stuff.
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Re: My Weekend (kinda long sorry)
Wow, drama!
The teenager needs a healthy dose of college, and the BIL's relationship cannot possibly be innocent. Yeesh.
Dh has said that he will. And I have no clue why he is being so blunt. One would think that if he was doing something that he was not supposed to, he would hide it.
And I compeltely agree about my neice. But she wants to take online classes so that she does not have to mingle like a regular student. Her father, BIL, is remarried. So her mother has main custody. It is simply amazing some of the things that she is filling this poor girls head with.
Us too. I do not want to assume, but it is so hard not to with everything that we learned over the weekend.
Wow. I feel bad for your poor neice being sheltered from reality. My SIL was in the peace corp for two years and served in Nepal, Thailand, and Africa. She was evactuated numerous time on threats toward Americans. She caught lice and had to shave her head. She lived in a village with no plumbing or electricity and wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom at night for fear of wild animals. She loved the work she was doing, but she was in constant danger. She was over there teaching sex education as well as helping with medical needs. It's not a rosy world and the amazing peace corp volunteers are not exempt from the realities of it.
I hope she finds her direction in life. GL to you with it all.