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Did you send invites for baptisim?(vent)
Our niece is getting baptized on Saturday in Dallas. IDK if I'm just in a bad mood but I don't want to go and I'm kinda offended we weren't "invited." My BIL/SIL never called/texted/sent us a smoke signal... nothing that they were getting DD baptized. The IL's knew and we just heard from them. I'm usually the type that thinks that family doesn't need an invite. I'm also kinda hurt that they are not using DD's gown even though I offered it to them and it's at their house. It's a $200 heirloom quality gown I kinda hoped would be used by others in the family. I understand if they want to but their own but shouldn't they at least acknowledge the gesture? Like thank you for the offer but DD's godmother wants to buy one of her own or something? I mean if BIL couldn't bother to tell his brother when the baptism is, would they care if we're not there? We also have the issue of our new pup, we would have to board him for the weekend. I was thinking DH could go with DD and DS and I would stay here.
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Re: Did you send invites for baptisim?(vent)
I don't understand... you said you didn't get invited... do you mean you didn't hear anything about it until now, and it's suddenly this weekend and you're expected to go? Or you only heard about it through the grapevine and you weren't invited at all?
To respond to the question in the title, yes, we sent invitations (only to family) about 2 months in advance.
Sorry you're also bummed about the gown, but I would not take that personally. Both my mom and MIL wanted me to use heirloom gowns, but I wanted to choose something on my own. It's a personal choice and something that some people might really want to do on their own.
In my bag: Canon 60D, 50mm 1.4, Tamron 28-75 2.8, 430exii
I was terrible about inviting people. We didn't send out invites, we just invited folks as we saw them. But, I didn't really think of it as a huge social event, so I didn't bother telling everyone in my family - I figured it would spread by word of mouth. My dad was like "WHAT@!? You have to call and invite them personally...noW!" So, I did call the family members I hadn't spoken to already. I felt bad, but it just wasn't a huge deal to me (the social aspect of it, that is).
So, perhaps give them the benefit of the doubt that they figured you'd hear about it & know that OF COURSE you are invited
I'd definitely be annoyed, but I might also chalk it up to new parents being kind of frazzled and men being sucky communicators. We had a similar issue when DH didn't "invite" his grandmother to DS's baptism. I'd called/emailed my family and assumed he'd done the same with his, but he hadn't (beyond his parents and sister). We never meant for her to feel excluded, but we dropped the ball because we were so busy with the new baby and lack of sleep and all.
Congrats on the new pup, btw!
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Sorry! My family also likes to operate using the "grapevine" to pass along messages and invites. It's really annoying. That being said, we did not send actual invitations for DD's baptismal. But, we only invited our parents and siblings. We did make sure to actually call them and tell them ourselves, though. You could have your DH call and talk to his brother about it. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel obligated to go. I know that sounds harsh, but if people expect you to participate in these types of activities, then they really should extend the courtesy of at least calling you themselves and inviting you with more than 24 hours notice, especially if you are OOT.
As for the dress, you'll just have to let that one go. So, they opted to use another dress. Maybe they didn't want to tell you no because they felt bad about not wanting to use it or they thought it might hurt your feelings, so they avoided the issue all together. Sucks when people do this, but sometimes people can't handle confrontation or telling someone no. KWIM?
That is irritating. I remember horrible sleepless nights, but at the very least, you could have received a call from the parents themselves and at least a verbal thank you for the gesture regardless of whether or not she liked it at all...To me, it's irrelevant if she wanted to use it or not -- just say a friggin thank you! Idk...I am the kind of person who gets annoyed when I don't get a thank you card, though...Even when DS was first born, I made sure to write thank you notes to everyone who brought meals or came by after he was born.
We did order actual invitations to DS's baptism, but the issue of baptism became this huge family battle, and we decided not to send them out to anyone but my mom, who actually did want to attend.