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January 2011 Moms
No one has offered to host a shower for me :(
Anyone else?
All of this shower talk makes me think that my friends and family are seriously slacking...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: No one has offered to host a shower for me :(
Same here - it's hard not to be jealous of everyone else, but I am trying not to be. I am trying to focus on the fact that we can afford to buy what we need for the baby (and one of my friends has offered to lend me a bunch of things) so we should be fine.
I would throw you a shower if you lived nearby!
I know how you feel about no one living near you. My family is all over the Midwest and South, and all of my close friends from college have moved back to their hometowns. I'm mostly sad because I had a terrible experience with my bridal shower... it was supposed to be a surprise, but then my mother ruined it because she told me she couldn't come out that weekend because my maid of honor scheduled it during my little sister's graduation. My maid of honor was also very flakey during the wedding planning process, and caused a huge upset in DH's family because she stopped planning the shower and they all had to throw it together at the last minute.
There's a possibility DH is coordinating with someone and they are trying to surprise me, but right now I kind of feel like no one cares that I'm having a baby!
This! I don't even care about the gifts, I was just looking forward to getting together in celebration and eating some delicious cake from a local place where my parents are!
I know! Being pregnant has made me homesick in a way that I didn't even think was possible!
I hear you. I have been wondering where all the cute stuff, gift cards and general fawning was but I got a really cute onesie in the mail today which perked me up. Maybe everyone was just waiting to find out what we are having. I'm sorry you didn't get the amazing shower experience for your wedding. I can see why you would be wanting a really good baby shower then.
Thanks for the offer
Exactly! Even thought I don't ever want to move back to IN, it would be really nice to have my parents around...
Nope, no offers here. My family and friends live out of state though. My DHs brother and SIL live down here but who would they invite lol.
We may do a little celebration thing when my bff and family is here if Tday but it won't be a shower.
I agree with this. Everyone should have one, not even for gifts, but to celebrate! Is there anyone you can drop a hint to? Or maybe your DH could drop a hint to a family member or close friend?
Sorry to hear about your bridal shower too. Some people in our lives get just plain weird over weddings and babies. I have a few people like that in my life. I hope someone steps up and throws you an amazing shower!!
I was a bridal shower orphan until my mom asked my aunt to throw one for me. :P Not because my family lives far away, either. No one in my family or my DH's offered. It felt horrible! So my aunt ended up throwing a shower that included both families, which was really nice, but I felt weird that my mom had to ask.
I hope someone makes the offer!!
I too was a bridal shower orphan until the girls at my work banned together and threw one for me towards the end...but this baby shower talk? Yeah, I won't be having one...mostly because my friends, like many of the above posters, live out of state or too far away. DH just got a promotion and we moved to a new place in literally 2 weeks time, so i just don't know anyone around the new area either. We are still registering, though...mostly because i have scattered family and friends who keep asking me 'what do you need!!" and it's just as easy for my mother to tell them where we're registered and go from there. I got a lot of clothes hand-me-downs when my brother and his family relocated to Germany and couldn't take or store everything...so really we just need basic stuff
Here's to hoping that your hubby is secretly planning one...much
Me neither. I don't foresee anyone doing it, either. Which - okay, I get I don't automatically just "deserve" one by virtue of being pregnant - but I'm still going to be a little sad about it.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
This exactly. Never got a real bridal shower either. My hormones and I would like to throw a pity party, but I know that won't do any good. I know I am very loved by people in many states, just not in Florida (yet) =P
The bridal shower thing, I totally agree with. Mine was awful. Just awful. Not a single family member came (they all live really far away), DH's mom and sister didn't bother coming, and it snowed that day so most of the girls who RSVP'd yes didn't show up. It ended up being my MoH, two of my male friends' girlfriends, my MoH's roommate, and as many of my MoH's friends as she could gather on short notice (three). I literally had to be introduced to most of my bridal shower guests.
I felt super lame and do kind of wonder why I'm not better at making friends.
I don't need baby presents - we can afford to buy what we want/need - but it's sad that nobody seems excited to celebrate. I get it - it's monumental for me, not them, etc etc - and it may not be a "right" - but I feel like it's a "rite of passage" that I'm missing out on.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
It makes me feel a little better to know there are other people out there with no offers for a shower! It's really hard not to feel sorry for yourself (especially with pregnancy hormones!) but I am trying to keep positive. MIL initially said she thought she had some friends who would offer, but no one has said anything. I was talking with her this past weekend and she said "it's too bad it's not proper etiquette for your mom and I to throw you one. Hopefully someone will still offer."
I was like... ummm... really? So if no one offers, you and my mom won't step up either because it's not "proper etiquette"?
I've never heard of this rule! In fact, my mom threw my bridal shower or I wouldn't have had one!
I'm post hoe'ing. Sorry. But I'll totally drive to jersey and we can shower ourselves in diapers and happiness and whatever else everyone I know is too self-absorbed to bother thinking about.
FWIW - I always feel even WORSE when someone says that someone's probably going to surprise me with one. They aren't. They really, really aren't. The only reason I got a crappy wedding shower was that my MoH felt obligated to throw one. She now lives in California and her response to my telling her that i'm pregnant was "i don't fly back for baby showers or births. Only Christenings. (well crap. we're not religious. she'll never be meeting my baby.) The rest of my friends are busy explaining how I'm ruining my life by having a baby, or are too self-absorbed to offer so much as a "hey, congrats on that whole making a person thing." Most of these "friends" didn't even bother to RSVP to our wedding - never mind show up or send a card or gift. We're not exactly surrounded by the thoughtful.
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
Life As We Know It: my Blog
You're totally not. I live in PA. Most of my family lives between 1000-1500 miles away. DH's family lives in PA but will neither be throwing a shower nor buying us anything. We'll be lucky to get through my pregnancy without his family hitting us up for money/the use of our cars/whatever. I'm sure we'll get a few things from my family, but they're all struggling financially too and we don't expect anything from any of them. I registered and have been buying things off my own registry as I see sales and have coupons.
It's not the lack of presents or party games that bothers me. It's the level of self-absorbedness that everyone in our lives consistently shows. My older sister recently had a shower for her 2nd baby. She's one of the 1500+ miles away family members, so I wasn't able to go. I sent a gift for the shower, and another gift off her registry the day the kid was born. I don't even know if either one ever showed up, because she never bothered to thank me/mention receiving anything.
Our wedding was the same way. DH's brother and his family came and didn't bring so much as a "congrats!" card. DH was (and is still) furious. He could give a crap about gifts, but he was annoyed that we paid $65/head for people who couldn't spring for a 99 cent card at Walmart that says "oh hey, congrats"
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
I kinda went into it, but my MOH was a total let down. She was engaged to DH's cousin, and both were in our bridal party. They were having relationship problems throughout our wedding planning process and broke up a week before our wedding. I gave her the option of not being in the wedding because I thought it would make her uncomfortable and she said that she would still be there. She spent the entire wedding sulking, and then got into a huge fight with my DH after the wedding about how she never wanted to be my MOH and that I should have asked someone else... how I was ungrateful, and that SHE deserved to be the one getting married, buying a house, etc. She also spent the entire engagement telling me how much she loved my husband, to the point where other family members were telling me they were uncomfortable with the way she was acting with him. Oh... and I did not get so much as a card from her at my shower or the wedding.
It's not about gifts for me either... DH and I are perfectly capable of purchasing things on our own, but not knowing that anything is happening combined with what happened with my bridal shower just makes me feel very sad and lonely.