First negative test and surprised at how disappointed I was...

writergal49 · August 2010

So H and I officially started TTC this last cycle. I'll be honest--we were on vacation during part of it, so I wasn't going to bother with charting, temping, or anything. I just kind of went with it, tried to guesstimate when I was ovulating and just enjoyed myself.

I totally get that that's not exactly the most effective way to try and get PG, but like I said--we were on vacay. I didn't want to bother with "thinking"

But this morning, I had some slight spotting and since I wasn't expecting my period for another 2-3 days, I wondered if it was implantation spotting. Took a test, and sure enough--negative. Now, a few hours later, my spotting has gone into a full-blown period.

I'm not going to lie--I didn't think I'd be this disappointed to get a negative test. In my head I kept telling myself there was no way we'd get PG on the first try (because I know how rare it is). I knew I hadn't done everything possible to maximize our chances. But it was the first time in my life I held a negative test and thought, "Damn."

It's weird. H and I have been married for 6 years, together for 11. We've spent all that time actively trying NOT to get PG. On the few occasions we had scares and I needed to test, I always say in the bathroom, staring at that little window and thinking to myself, "Please...not now."

Then all of a sudden, I'm looking at that little window and praying it goes the other way. It didn't and my heart broke. It was all kind of surreal. I honestly wasn't prepared to be that disappointed. I thought I'd mentally prepared myself enough. Guess not...

I can't be the only one that felt that way the first time they got a negative, right?

Milliways · August 2010

Nope, not the only one who felt that way. I would like to say it gets better, but it doesn't, every BFN can be heartbreaking. Hope you get your BFP soon.

willamina28 · August 2010

Nope, I was surprised at being so disappointed the first time. For me it was a little easier the next 3 times, then harder after that. We've all been there!

Everyone secretly thinks they'll get KU the first time....but no...doesn't usually work that way, unfortunately Stick out tongue

kwiens6673 · August 2010

I have a feeling that I will be in your same boat tomorrow morning when I test. It is our first cycle too and I think I have gotten my hopes up way too high.

I hope you have good luck on cycle #2!

MegZRN · August 2010

I understand! GL with temping and charting and hopefully you'll get a BFP soon!

writergal49 · August 2010

willamina28:

Everyone secretly thinks they'll get KU the first time....but no...doesn't usually work that way, unfortunately

It's funny, my cousin and her husband had a baby two months ago and it happened for them on their first try. We're very close, so when they told me, her H just said, "Man, I was hoping for a few months of fun and nope. She got KU'd right away...and now can't stand the sight of me."

When I repeated the story to MY H, he kind of laughed and said, "With my luck, the exact same thing will happen to us."

So it's weird--while I was pretty much telling myself it wouldn't happen (but hoping it would), HE was convinced it'd happen instantly. I probably let him suck me into that mindset a little, lol.

And I'm probably even more sensitive because we met my cousin's baby for the first time this weekend (they live four hours away and this was our first chance to go see them). And she's such a beautiful little baby. I just kept holding her and thinking "I can't wait til I have one of these."

I have no doubt spending the past 48 hours in Baby Central didn't help me any...

MrsHteaching4life · August 2010

Milliways:
Nope, not the only one who felt that way. I would like to say it gets better, but it doesn't, every BFN can be heartbreaking. Hope you get your BFP soon.

This exactly! Except all it did was make me not test until I was late. Then this cycle I was late and still a BFN! Just try and not obsess (yeah who am I kidding!) and I am so not a pee pusher anymore because of the disappointment I have endured.

It will happen. It will also most likely take time. Best of luck and hope your stay is short and sweet!

Stephcara · August 2010

always sucks, sorry

parker163 · August 2010

I felt the same way the first time, the next one didn't bother me very much...probably cause the first time I was all "we are healthy, young, this should be no prob"....by cycle 2 I had done more research and realized how much has to take place for it to happen. So I was already expecting BFN.

My huge disappointment came on this cycle (3)...I did get a BFP, for 1 week...I had it all planned out in my head already, we wanted an april baby, so I was so happy it seemed to be all coming together....then I got AF and was devastated. Cancelling my dr apt was the hardest thing I did....and even though DH doesn't know, I did tell a few people at work that I am close to. I did learn a lot from that and know that my time will come soon!!! Good Luck!!

rickisue80 · August 2010

MrsHteaching4life:

Milliways:
Nope, not the only one who felt that way. I would like to say it gets better, but it doesn't, every BFN can be heartbreaking. Hope you get your BFP soon.

This exactly! Except all it did was make me not test until I was late. Then this cycle I was late and still a BFN! Just try and not obsess (yeah who am I kidding!) and I am so not a pee pusher anymore because of the disappointment I have endured.

It will happen. It will also most likely take time. Best of luck and hope your stay is short and sweet!

Exactly this. Every BFN is such a heartbreaker when you're trying. I, too, had the fantasy of it happening on the first round. But, alas, I'm still here. It'll happen for you, just gotta keep on keepin on or something like that. lol GL to you and hopefully you get your BFP very soon.

And MrsH... Sorry about CD1... Stupid cow AF has to ruin parades for a ton of us these days... GL this cycle!!!

~denise~ · August 2010

I will probably be writing this same post in 2 weeks. I've been TTA and off BCP for 4 months and I always wished that one would slip pass the goalie but no luck Stick out tongue

This is our first official cycle TTC and I secretly hope to get pregnant this month but I know it probably won't happen, I'm trying to prepare myself.

amberpro · August 2010

I spent the entirety of cycle 1 telling H it wasn't going to happen the first try and reminding him not to get his hopes up... then boom. Who knew how disappointed I'D be with that BFN. Should have spent that 2 weeks convincing myself!

npilcher506 · August 2010

writergal49:

So H and I officially started TTC this last cycle. I'll be honest--we were on vacation during part of it, so I wasn't going to bother with charting, temping, or anything. I just kind of went with it, tried to guesstimate when I was ovulating and just enjoyed myself.

I totally get that that's not exactly the most effective way to try and get PG, but like I said--we were on vacay. I didn't want to bother with "thinking"

But this morning, I had some slight spotting and since I wasn't expecting my period for another 2-3 days, I wondered if it was implantation spotting. Took a test, and sure enough--negative. Now, a few hours later, my spotting has gone into a full-blown period.

I'm not going to lie--I didn't think I'd be this disappointed to get a negative test. In my head I kept telling myself there was no way we'd get PG on the first try (because I know how rare it is). I knew I hadn't done everything possible to maximize our chances. But it was the first time in my life I held a negative test and thought, "Damn."

It's weird. H and I have been married for 6 years, together for 11. We've spent all that time actively trying NOT to get PG. On the few occasions we had scares and I needed to test, I always say in the bathroom, staring at that little window and thinking to myself, "Please...not now."

Then all of a sudden, I'm looking at that little window and praying it goes the other way. It didn't and my heart broke. It was all kind of surreal. I honestly wasn't prepared to be that disappointed. I thought I'd mentally prepared myself enough. Guess not...

I can't be the only one that felt that way the first time they got a negative, right?

My oh my how I can relate to that! My last semester of nursing school I had strep throat and was on antibiotics. We had used condoms but when my AF didnt arrive as it usually did I was freaked out! We were so far from family and I didnt have a job lined up yet. We were not at all ready. I remember sitting in the bathroom waiting and all the anxiety I felt. Now I do the same thing, just hoping for the complete opposite. Smile Good luck next cycle!!

JenOSU03 · August 2010

It was so disappointing to get that first bfn because friends who knew I was ttc made me think I could be pregnant afer a few phantom symptoms (most likely). Now I am on cycle 3 and have decided not to test until dpo, so far aunt flo has arrived long before I have considered poas.

BFN suck!

abHokie · August 2010

Nice to be in good company....seams like it's taking me a while to wrap my head around TTC vs TTA and wouldn't it be wonderful and easy to get a BFP on the first try and not have to wait, worry and wonder....AF is coming next Monday and I have some spotting, had some last week as well sooooo trying to keep my hopes low and think about drinking with friends this weekend ha ha

amdraza · August 2010

I can completely relate to everything that you said. While we are not going to start TTC until Oct. there is a part of me that is just assuming that we will get a BFP on the first try, even though I know how unlikely it is.

It's like I am setting mysel up for a huge disappointment. I feel like I need to start mentally preparing myself for my first BFN, but at the same time I want to stay positive.

You just have to keep in mind that even under perfect conditions, you only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle.

Good luck next month!

picklesx · August 2010

I took one on Saturday, having convinced myself 99.9% that it was going to be negative. I still felt disappointed even though I hadn't thought I would since I knew that there was a very very very very slim chance of getting a BFP being it's only our first cycle and we also have not been doing everything we could have done to maximize our chances.

Doesn't seem to matter how long you've been TTC, a BFN is always going to be pretty disappointing.

Good luck on your next cycle.

writergal49 · August 2010

Everyone--thank you so much for your encouraging words and all the support.

Sometimes it's just nice to know you're not the only one that's experienced a moment like that. And since we're not really publicizing that we're TTC, there are few people IRL I can speak to about it.

Thank you again

GracieLou Freebush · August 2010

This will be me in a couple weeks, you're not alone. It's our first cycle and I'm not expecting to get a BFP but I'm hoping beyond hope for one.

GL to you next month OP.

lisawe · August 2010

I understand I felt the same way! Good Luck on Cycle # 2!

Birdies08 · August 2010

GracieLouFreebush*:
This will be me in a couple weeks, you're not alone. It's our first cycle and I'm not expecting to get a BFP but I'm hoping beyond hope for one.
GL to you next month OP.

I second all of this!

Katiealaina1 · August 2010

GL on Cycle #2!!

kate05 · August 2010

I felt the same way. This is only my second cycle. Last time I even broke out one of my fancy digital ones - BFN. About an hour later AF showed up just to make sure I knew Sad

I wasn't charting last month and was inconsistently using OPKs. This month I have been charting and using the OPKs and it has made me feel a lot more knowledgeable about my cycle. I wish you lots of luck and baby dust for your second cycle

Noreen and Chris · August 2010

I understand how you feel - we're in the same exact position

This was my first cycle TTC and I had a negative test also. I charted, used my CBEFM and did exactly what I was supposed to do but it didn't work. I know deep down that it is rare to get pregnant the first time but I was also very disappointed that it didn't work. My temp dropped one day and I took a HPT anyway, and of course it was negative. 1 minute later AF arrived! Good luck in your 2nd cycle though!!

BarooGirl · August 2010

I hate that you all are going through this, I hate that I feel the same way.

But it is nice to know I am not alone in this.

I feel half crazy. I was even the idiot that started POAS at like 5dpo knowing it would be BFN. But as I hit 12DPO today the BFN just made me sad. I bought a BT and a 4pk of PTKs lastnight hoping I could just return the BT.

I didnt think this would upset me too much, and yes it is cycle 1 and yes AF hasnt shown up yet. But I just feel like this round it not it and I know I will be sad when AF shows up. I hate her.

Anyway, good luck girls! Good luck to all of us. And it really is nice to know our feelings are valid. thank you.

kmsk · August 2010

I'm sorry, unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. My DH and I have been married for 6 and together for 11. I had the same feelings before when we had scares. Now after 11 years of being together, we both want a baby so badly! I feel like all that waiting was waiting enough for me and that should have counted enough to get KU on the first try, like the rest of my sisters did.

Today AF came to town and i'm officially on Cycle 4. I really thought I was pregnant last cycle because I had implantation bleeding sore boobs cramping, and even when my temp went up this morning, AF came.

I just keep praying. There is a great story about prayer and infertility in the bible in 1 samuel verse 27. I've been praying and praying that story and ironically, our church even gave a sermon on it a few days after I found that verse!

GL to you, hopefully this will be our cycle. It's hard to see all the girls that just got married that already have their BFP's. I don't know why, its not that at 1 year after being married I wanted a baby, I just feel like after 6 years I really want to make my DH a Dad.

BarooGirl · August 2010

kmsk:

I just keep praying. There is a great story about prayer and infertility in the bible in 1 samuel verse 27. I've been praying and praying that story and ironically, our church even gave a sermon on it a few days after I found that verse!

Not to turn the conversation, but thank you for that. I think I need this.

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First negative test and surprised at how disappointed I was...

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