Still haven't met my niece

serendipity · August 2010

I'm feeling like I'm in avoidance mode, here. On one hand, I really want to go see her and my sister. On the other, I just want to ignore the whole thing until she's 2. Gah. I'm doing nothing at the moment because I thought we left it that my sister would call when they were ready for visitors and I haven't heard from her.

Should I call her and see what's up, or just wait, which is what I'd rather do?

ETA* Going to go try and do some more stuff on my list. After a nap, of course. Wink Can't wait to read your answers!

BabyTrippin · August 2010

I may full be in the minority here, but if I'd just had a baby I would want to be alone with that baby and my DH. I would not want a parade of people and germs through my home. I wouldn't want to have to worry about looking decent, wearing real clothes or if I'd suddenly gush blood or randomly have a milk letdown. I would call and probably ask if she needs anything from the store, but I wouldn't be popping in for a visit.

TheGregory's07 · August 2010

BabyTrippin:
I may full be in the minority here, but if I'd just had a baby I would want to be alone with that baby and my DH. I would not want a parade of people and germs through my home. I wouldn't want to have to worry about looking decent, wearing real clothes or if I'd suddenly gush blood or randomly have a milk letdown. I would call and probably ask if she needs anything from the store, but I wouldn't be popping in for a visit.

I second this to an extent, I was extremely lonely after about the first week. No one came to visit from my family or anything.

TheGregory's07 · August 2010

BabyTrippin:
I may full be in the minority here, but if I'd just had a baby I would want to be alone with that baby and my DH. I would not want a parade of people and germs through my home. I wouldn't want to have to worry about looking decent, wearing real clothes or if I'd suddenly gush blood or randomly have a milk letdown. I would call and probably ask if she needs anything from the store, but I wouldn't be popping in for a visit.

I second this to an extent, I was extremely lonely after about the first week. No one came to visit from my family or anything.

millejj1 · August 2010

I think I would call with the over to bring over a meal, or take a trip to the store for them. Then it's low key on her and you. If she isn't ready for company you can just leave the stuff and go, and if you aren't ready to see her once you get there then you have an easy out since you were there for designated task.

Then she knows you are thinking about her, and if she is feeling awkward about how to approach the situation without hurting your feelings that helps open the door.

Stretchad · August 2010

We just met DH's nephew for the first time. He's 3 months old now. I couldn't hold him.

Granted, seeing him requires a 2 hr flight, but still. We flew out nearly immediately to meet his first nephew...

But, his family was understanding of it, given the loss. I think if you call, and find out how she's doing, maybe that's a good first step. Or drop off some meals, but don't stay long. And if she asks you to hold, just politely decline.

MCH77 · August 2010

If you live close (within an hour), I would try to set up a time to stop by, but with a leave within 45 minutes plan. Let them know before you go you are meeting girlfriends for dinner, but had to meet her. But you can't stay long.

Bite the bullet. I get the feeling that the anxiety and guilt for the anxeity and not meeting her yet is really eating you up. I would want a quick escape plan set in place for the 1st visit.

I am sorry, I know this is so hard.

elisbu · August 2010

I met my nephew, for the first time, 3 days after my D&C. He was 2 months old. I can't tell you how you will feel, but I felt so much love for him it was not hard at all.
It was hard to see how perfect he was and wonder why my baby wasn't, but like I said, I loved him SO much, that I was super happy for my sister and super happy to meet him.