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Parenting after 35
What do you think is the best/worst thing about being mom over 35?
I am just wondering. For me, it is the experience so you do not freak out. And then, the negative is not being in as good shape as younger moms so I feel like LO is missing out on more active stuff. . . And I am wondering how I will keep up with him as a teenager.
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Re: What do you think is the best/worst thing about being mom over 35?
best- I'm 100000% focused on being a mom and have no qualms about being with S as much as possible. Not saying this isn't the case with younger moms, but I know that if I was 10 years younger, I'd be complaining about not having "me" time.
worst- I'm so effing tired all the time.
click the pic (blog)
Both of these. Exactly.
My Blog
Best: with age comes wisdom, maturity and financial security
Worst: fear of not living long enough to meet my grandchildren
Big - 1 year old
Bigger - 6 years old
Biggest - 13 years old
Best: patience, being way more chill than I would have been in my 20s/30s, being more settled in my life, having the finances and career in order
Worst: More aches and pains, risk of being mistaken for DD's grandmother, grandparents are older, wondering how we'll swing retirement and college at the same time
Best: parroting pps here but more patient, more focused on priorities (I don't mind making my family a priority and everyone (including work) knows it), greater financial security
Worst: energy level -- some days it's just rough keeping up. The pressure to procreate quickly as time is running out.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Most of my friends have grown or nearly grown children so I get all kinds of cast-offs for Michael so I have not had to spend as much money as if I would have when he was older. Also, I am in the position that I could take off 3 months with pay to spend with him.
The worst is the lack of sleep that is so hard to bounce back from.
Best: Traveled to great places, enjoyed social activities things I would've had to sacrifice if I had a child sooner. I was ready to have a child without feeling like I was going to miss out on things. Financially we can provide well for Fiona, so I can travel with her, educate her and provide for her without stressing.
Worst: Feeling rushed to have another baby. Probably would've waited 2+years before TTC again, but will try sooner because of my age.
best: financially more OK.... never feel like I'm missing out on doing anything b/c i did it all in my 20s.... I am more confident with myself, my parenting skills, my life choices, etc.
only negative to me is that my body didn't snap back like it would have in my 20s... and I probably don't have as much energy as i would have then (though who knows- maybe i would have been super tired then, too- considering i used to sleep in all the time then - i can't know how it would have been with kdis)
I'm glad i waited. when i see people having kids in their early 20s I'm sad for them b/c they'll never get to do all the stuff I did in my 20s... my sister had kids at 23 and she really missed out - she knows it, too.
Best: Don't feel like I am missing out on anything, financially secure, wisdom and maturity.
Worst: Worrying about the big age gap between my daughter and I and how that will affect our relationship as she grows older, Wanting to have another child but fearing we are too old
Best- Getting all the partying out of my system and not regreting missing anything. Getting my Master's Degree which enabled me to be fully independent, with long term job security, and a personally satisfying career. Having more patience, and life experience to be a better parent.
Worst- Being very tired. Being scared I will die before I see my children get married, meet my grandchildren and truly be able to enjoy them. Pressure to conceive quickly since time is running out and I realize I want a big family.
For my situation - the BEST things
1) I've HAD a career, now I know that my career doesn't define me/wasn't fulfilling and I am ready to be a FT Mom.
2) we are financially stable. We socked away ALOT of money in our 20's and early 30's.
3) our marriage is stable. We've been through some really rocky times, and I'm not sure our marriage could have survived the stress of adding a baby to it say 3-4 years ago
4) Our faith in God is stronger than it has ever been, allowing us to be able to focus on the important things in life, and not stress over the little things.
WORST -- for us, there really isn't any worst
Best:
1) Having lived in different places around the world, and having traveled and partied a lot when I was younger. Now I know where I want to live and how I want to live.
2) Having enough money to not have to worry about it.
3) I am a lot fitter than I was in my 20s so I can keep up with Sarah more easily.
Worst:
Having to hurry to get a sibling for Sarah. Lots of pressure because of time running out.
This exactly except I would add to the "worst" list the fact that I can't breastfeed for as long as I wanted to because I'm overdue for a mammogram.
Best:
stability - this extends to virtually every aspect of our lives. Even where we haven't established it to the extent that we might like it is just around the corner.
Worst:
I have less of my life to spend with her. If I had had her 10 years ago then I would have 10 more years to be with her. I don't want to leave her alone before either of us is ready.