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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Am I being irrational, or would this piss you off?
I am letting Bailey's bangs grow out, they are at that stage where it is hard to keep a clips in, but starting to get manageable. So yesterday H took the girls over to FIL's house, and H's aunt was there also. She knows that I have been trying to grow Bailey's bangs out, but her hair takes forever to grow. H had to go help another relative out so he left the girls there to be watched by them. I knew he was doing that, no big deal, right?
Well, H gets home, the girls are asleep, and he puts them in bed. this morning H brings Bailey to me after she wakes up and asks if I noticed anything. I look at her, her bangs are completely chopped off, I mean about way above her eyebrows. I kinda give him a weird look and ask what happened. He said his aunt didn't like how they looked so she cut them off!!! I am pissed. I asked H if he gave her permission and he said no, that he didn't know until he got back and they had already done that. Seriously, I am really upset about it. I told H he needed to talk to her and tell her that is unacceptable, I am really bad at confronting people, but this is going to far. Such a crappy situation, I would NEVER do that to another person's child, it is not my place. I just feel like she undermined me.
I understand that it is hair and it will grow back, but Bailey is not her daughter to be making that decision, especially since she knew that I wanted Bailey's bangs to grow out. I don't think I can trust her to watch my kids alone or with FIL any more. Am I being irrational or would you be pissed also? Sorry so long if you made it this far thanks for reading.
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Re: Am I being irrational, or would this piss you off?
I would be LIVID. I think I would confront her, and I despise confrontation, id rather dig my eyes out. But cutting your kids hair without permission is a no-no. Maybe let her know what your intentions were and to please not do it again?
Im so terrified MIL will do this too, since shes a hairdresser.
Not irrational at all. People should respect your wishes! The aunt had no right to chop off her bangs (especially since it sounds like it was done really short).
I'd deffinatly be pissed if someone went and cut my LO's hair behing my back.
I would be pissed too. I can't believe that she had the nerve to do that! I would make DH say something if its his aunt (if you don't want to).
Exactly, it also makes me wonder what else they do when we are not around. I don't feel comfortable letting them watch them anymore, so I guess no more family babysitters...
I would be so pissed.
I would be sooooo pissed!!! My parents jokingly made a comment about DD's bangs getting long- I told them not to even think about getting scissors near her! They laugh at me now, but they know where I stand.
I knew where your post was going after your first sentence. The bangs will grow back, but I am sure that isn't making you feel better~ so....you aren't being irrational. Was your H pissed?
Not really, he said she should have asked, but it's hair, who cares. I told him it was the underminding that really bothers me, and why didn't she call and ask, she has my number. I would have told her no, but I am pretty positive she knows that. It is the principle of the matter.
No, she doesn't have any kids.
this. only there's no probably about not letting her watch LO again. Unless it was an extreme emergency.
That explains it! I am so sorry. The whole principle of her doing so without asking....this will be something you'll never forget.
You are NOT being irrational. I would be so angry if someone did that to dd. I would definitely not let her watch her anymore. Crazy. And since I think you said it was your dh's relative, he should be the one to tell her why.
Ugh. Sorry that happened.
I think so, just don't know how to approach it. She gets very emotional, and will probably say something to FIL, honestly I don't care, but I hate family drama. And I am a very non confrontational person. I will definitely have H say something.
Yeah, I might make a comment on facebook, or even a text. If I speak to her I know I will probably lose my cool, and get way too upset.
I would try to figure out a way to cut her hair when she was sleeping!!
I hate confrontation so much, especially with DH's family. Tell him he has to talk to her and make her apologize or you will cut his hair without his consent!
I'd be REALLY angry, too. I'm sorry.
My grandma cut my hair (it had never been cut) when my parents were away for the weekend when I was one, and my mom STILL remembers how angry she was at the time!
This is me, too.
That would piss me off epsecially since she knew that you were trying to let them grow.
That is WAY out of line. I would be furious. I hate it when people take it upon themselves to make decisions for someone else's child. My MIL fed my son eggs when he was 10 months old when I wasn't around. When I explained that he isn't supposed to have eggs until he's a year and there is a specific way to introduce new foods into a baby's diet, she didn't think it was a big deal because, "he was fine" afterward.
When you talk to the aunt, try putting the blame on yourself. This could help you with the confrontation. For example, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I didn't want her hair cut, but I never imagined you would do that without consulting me first. I realize that her hair will grow back and you were only trying to help, but I am her mother, etc., etc., etc."
She had NO BUSINESS touching your child's hair. I would be FURIOUS and I would let her know how pissed I was and ask her what she could have possibly been thinking.
That is just wrong in so many ways. I'm so sorry, that is so frustrating.
This exactly.
I would go BSC on them. I would either call and yell or go there in person. You don't cut someone else's childs hair.