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Trouble TTC
gymnst1013
member
Having a minor meltdown
gymnst1013
member
in Trouble TTC
I have been feeling so positive about IVF - always thinking in terms of it working and when the baby will be here (you know, "this time next year he/she will be 2 months old, etc.) until yesterday. When all of a sudden I thought shiit, what if this doesn't work?? What if I never get pregnant?
I need to get back to my happy place!!
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Re: Having a minor meltdown
I understand how you feel. I swear I am completely manic right now. I go from phases of hope and excitement that I will get my BFP to moments of complete dispair and thinking that there is no way it worked.
I think these emotions just come with the treatment. I am doing my best to stay hopeful and you should too. It is great you are doing the shared risk program and that should make you feel better. I keep thinking this was my only shot and it just makes me want to cry.
Now, go back to that happy place and dream of your future LO because it will happen for you. I just know it.
(((hugs))) I'm very hopeful for you Reb!!
You are probably right about the swings coming with the territory. I'm trying my best to not think about the negative side. And I do need to remember that I'm fortunate to be doing shared risk. I'm so focused on this one cycle and I'm not looking at the big picture.
Thanks for the pep talk!!
There is nothing you can do to change the outcome so think positive.One step at a time, ok?
TTC since 1/2008
I am totally confident for you Gym - you have gone through so much to get to this place and I believe that it will happen for you - you will have a baby. I agree with Reb, I think you being able to do the shared risk plan is a great thing.
I know how you feel though, as I had have the same thoughts - what if I never get pregnant again or have a successful pregnancy? But, I think it's better to try to stay in the "happy" place. I am trying to be confident for myself too. But, I am super, super confident for you!!!! You will have a baby at this time next year!
Thank you ladies!! I'm really trying not to think about the negatives. You guys are a huge help!
And Cute, I am totally confident for you too!!!
IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer
Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
**P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**
(((hugs))) Illini - I'm so, so sorry about your beta
My heart sank when I read your post.
Gym,
I am sorry you're having a little meltdown. Get back to the happy place. Stay positive and keep your eye on the prize! I am praying that you will have your baby in your arms this time next year!
b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
PAIF/SAIF Welcome
Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
Homestudy 7/19/2011
IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frosties
Everyone else pretty much covered it. You have always been one of my biggest cheerleaders and I am here to do the same for you!
I have gone through so many emotions this FET (and really the last one and my IVF), it's completely normal. Just try your best to stay positive. It really helps the soul.
Sorry I'm late to this post. I hope you are feeling better gym. It is a rollercoaster of emotions. Try to stay as positive as you can and stay in that happy place. ((hugs))
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN