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March 2011 Moms
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update on how to tell. I feel awful! (vent)

cedgar778cedgar778 member
in March 2011 Moms

So, if you read my post yesterday on how to tell... My H and I have told our whole families, but not my brother and SIL because they have been trying for 7-8 months and I was trying to figure out the best way to tell them.  Well, we got together with them last night for dinner, a baseball game and, by the end of the game, I still hadn't told them.  My H suggested going out for one drink after the game and I figured this would be the time to do it.  So, as we were sitting there talking about different things, there was a lul in the conversation.  I then said "well, we wanted to tell you guys some news.  We're having a baby"  I felt so bad, I could barely look at SIL.  THey both said congrats and were smiling and asking questions like when? names? etc.  But H said that SIL turned red when I first told them and looked really upset.  Anyway, sorry for rambling, but I just feel AWFUL! I can't stop thinking about how bad I made them feel... but at the same time, I know it's obviously not my fault and we're happy about this pregnancy, and they are family and we can't hide it forever. 

Thanks for letting me vent.  I hope I did the right thing...

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Re: update on how to tell. I feel awful! (vent)

  • TwinkzTwinkz
    My brother and SIL got pregnant while we were trying.  It took a while but I got excited.  Not right away, especially when they told me that they got pregnant the week they decided to try (which is how it happened for them the last time as well).  But -- I was eventually really happy for them.  And even if, heaven forbid, something happens -- I'll still be happy for them.
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  • beeunitbeeunit member
    As a former TTC'er, I'm asking you to not feel bad.  I used to MOURN the pregnancies of friends and family members.  I would get so upset.  Then, I realized that I can't get expect that everyone will have the same troubles we had, and I certainly can't expect people to not have babies.  They may be sad or disappointed, but I'm sure they are also very happy for you.  Don't feel bad!
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  • melissar617melissar617

    Being on the other side of the situation, I know that it's a tough one. I personally had some pregnancies that I was really happy about and others that really upset me. I think it all depends on how you handle the situation. From my experience, the absolute worse thing that you could say would be "we weren't even trying" or "it didn't take us any time at all" or anything to that effect. 

    I'm sure that your SIL is probably happy for you, but it may take a little while for her to show it.  

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  • Sarah4806Sarah4806
    My Bother and SIL had been trying for 2 years when we got pregnant. I did feel bad, but she got pregnant a couple of months later so I was glad for that.
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