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moms of older kids (3, 4 and up)

kat.in.the.hatkat.in.the.hat
in Houston Babies

What do you do when you're out with your child(ren) and they see another child misbehaving, and then try to mimic that bad behavior?  Do you say, that other child is being naughty?  That's not how we act in public?  Or something else?

There were two little boys at Target today yelling their heads off (and trying to push each other out of the cart, but that's another thing) and Marion, once she heard them, started yelling too.  I just asked her to use her indoor voice and (thankfully) it worked, but I'm sure when she gets a little older, we'll start hearing the "but they're doing it, so why can't I?" question.

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j+k+m+e | running with needles
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Re: moms of older kids (3, 4 and up)

  • ayersfam20ayersfam20 member

    As Abbie got older she wouldn't mimick, she would say very loudly, "Mommy why are they acting like that?  They are being bad!  I'm not, I'm being good."  lol. 

    If she did ask that I would say, "Well, I'm not their Mommy, I am your Mommy and I am telling you to not behave that way."  That's the general answer I give her when she wants to know why 1 of her friends can do something that she can't.  I just say well whose Mommy am I, theirs or yours?  She'll say mine, and I'll say that's right and I said no.

    Abbie Rose 9.26.2004
    Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
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  • savannah11savannah11

    We were at a party a couple of months ago with a group of boys that played together frequently.  As the party went on they got rowdier and things got out of hand.  They were pushing and shoving.  They even dismantled a soccer goal and were swinging metal poles at each other.  I was horrified but O was fascinated.  He stood there watching the whole thing as parents got involved and kept asking, "Mom, what are they doing?  Are they fighting?"  I think I said something like, "Yes, they are fighting but the mommy and daddy's are going to help them calm down".  

    Honestly, I don't worry so much about him immediately imitating the behavior at this age.  He seems to have moved on from that.   

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  • KKMMexKKMMex
    imagesavannah11:

    Honestly, I don't worry so much about him immediately imitating the behavior at this age.  He seems to have moved on from that.   

    I agree.  When they get older they aren't as prone to immediately mimic but more to question the behavior of strangers.  Elizabeth at 2.5 seems to be at the height of the mimic stage though.  I worry much more about her copying Big Sister when Sarah's not behaving well.  Sarah used the word "idiot" the other day and E. immediately started using it.  Not so fun! 

     

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  • jen5-03jen5-03 member

    In Costco earlier this week, we passed some teenagers who were taking turns climbing in a cart and pushing each other (their mom was right there ignoring it all). E said loudly and repeatedly "Mommy! They're not supposed to do that! They're too big to be in the buggy! Mommy, tell them to stop!"

    Ratting out the wrong-doers is her typical MO.

    - Jena
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  • lilycatlilycat

    Our oldest is 3. We tell him no, remove him, and tell him that is not how we behave.

    Olivia, the pig, paints on the wall to mimic Jackson Pollack. We have always explained that she made a mess and was put in time out. And, told him that we don't paint on the walls.

    It sticks; it helps us explain other differences between expectations. 

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  • ginanddavidginanddavid
    At chick fil a this week, my DS was playing in the play area when other kids came in and were climbing on things the wrong way, one kid pushed him, one kid litereally stepped on him. I said something to the kid about stepping on my son, but the other two times, DS would fuss at them and tell them "don't do that". One time, he tried to climb on the top of the exit part of the slide (if that makes sense). He had just seen another kid do it. When I told him no and to get down, he came over and said "she do it!" I simply said "I'm not her mom... I'm your mom. I can't tell her no, I can tell you no.". worked for him, worked for me.
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  • LisaK2bLisaK2b member
    You did the right thing and by doing that, you probably won't have her questioning you when she gets a little older why she can't act out.  She'll know why (by mid 3,4 and 5 they know what is good and bad behavior).  I've mastered "the look".  And so when I give her "the look", she knows "don't you even dare think about it". 
    Lisa. mommy to Emmy and Ally image
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