Upstate NY Babies

If your DH works a lot more than you do...

Who does the normal "DH chores" - i.e. -Mowing the lawn, fixing stuff around the house, etc.. 

So DH and I both work, obviously.. I work usually 25ish hours a week.. and he works like 55 hours..and lately its been more since he's busy at work. He works 6 days and the earliest he is ever out of work on the days he works is 6pm. Obviously we both take care of Eve as well..

My lawn has probably not been mowed in a month.. It looks awful.. DH said he would do it yesterday.. but didn't.. He also has to ship his xbox back to microsoft to be repaired.. and all i"ve asked him to do it pack it up and I will bring it to UPS to ship it..I got him a box and bubble wrap..  but its been sitting on the dining room table for months... I have also asked him like 50 times this summer to take Eve's seat out of my car and move the straps to the next notch (I cannot get the seat back in the car tight enough.. he has to do it).. and it hasn't been done..

But I guess I am thinking that I should maybe step up and at least start doing the yard..I don't even think he WANTS me to.. but he doesn't do it.. so what am I supposed to do.. 

Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
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baby growth

Re: If your DH works a lot more than you do...

  • My DH works between 50-65 hours a week, but he still does the lawn.  If I suggested I'd do it, he'd flip.   He's very paticular about his lawn though.  If I were you, I think I'd just do it one day and see what he says.  My DH is a bit OCD though, so a lot of things he does aren't the 'norm' for men.
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  • I work 4-6 hours most weeks, sometimes not at all. DH works about 45 hours. I'm definitely the maid, the cook and handy one, lol. In exhange, my paychecks are mainly for starbucks/days out for Justin and I. DH has Sunday night chores (our garbage day is monday). He has to change the cat litter and pull the cans to the curb. It's all I really expect of him. I figure if he supports 99% of our bills, I can support 99% of the work at home.

    Our house was the same as you're describing last summer, the lawn would be soo long and I'd hint about it being mowed and DH would say "tomorrow, tomorrow..." and it never got done. This summer I had him teach me to start the lawn mower and I did it, until a few weeks ago. It's not too bad of a chore and it counts as a work out, right? :)

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  • imageMrsWhiteonWhiteSt:

     DH has Sunday night chores (our garbage day is monday). He has to change the cat litter and pull the cans to the curb.

    Thats too funny.. this is EXACTLY the weekly chores my DH completes.. and He does the cat litter and I empty all the rest of the trash and then he takes the cans out to the curb.. Thats all he does.. and he usually whines about it. :)

    Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
    m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
    Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
    imagebabies
    baby growth
  • DH always does the garbage/recycling and the mowing/trimming. He would get pissed at me if I left the kids inside to mow...so I don't feel bad about lighting a fire under his butt to get it done if I need to. He does consider that "man's work" I guess.

    In your situation - I'd just mail that package myself but get on him about mowing the lawn.

    DH does spend some time cleaning the kitchen each night after dinner - from just scraping plates and piling them by the sink to unloading/loading/washing...I let him do what he wants and then finish the rest the next morning during Leah's nap. If he needs something washed he'll toss it in himself or ask me to do it when I get the chance.

    I do most of the day to day cleaning and once in a while he'll get in this mood to do a DEEP clean and I'll just go take a nap..haha! j/k but I stay out of his way and find something else to do (usually folding laundry and putting it away which is a never ending battle)

  • imageMrsWhiteonWhiteSt:

    IThis summer I had him teach me to start the lawn mower and I did it, until a few weeks ago. It's not too bad of a chore and it counts as a work out, right? :)

     

    This was us a couple of weeks ago.  DH is laying down hardwoods though, so his week nights and weekend days have been busy remodeling.  I don't mind mowing the lawn, it is a really good workout.  it doesn't looks as good as when he does it, but at least it's cut.

  • My DH works right around 40-45 hours most weeks, but the end of the month he works 55+.

    I have offered to learn how to operate the mower, but he told me no way. He enjoys mowing and yard work though. He likes to put in his headphones and work outside for hours... I'm usually out there yelling at him to come in and shower so we can do something!

    I do try and remember to drag the can to the curb on garbage night. I've actually been pretty good on picking up the dog sh!t daily... but that is more because when Evan is outside playing, I don't want him to step in it! And I'll pull some weeds here and there if we are outside.

    As far as fixing stuff around the house- that's another story! DH is admittedly not handy. We have quite a few little projects that have been adding up around here! My dad is super handy, and would help us out... but he's so busy w/ work and renovating his own house that we feel bad asking. By the time we decide to put this house up for sale we are going to have a mile long list of little things to get fixed!  

    Is there a young kid in your neighborhood who you can pay to cut the grass every other week or something?

  • My hubs does all the manual labor...we both work full time. His family grew up with the idea that girls do not do manual labor, which is strange to me because we did not.  I know he would not like me to mow the lawn though because I'd probably run over a toe or something! I'm not skilled with the weed whacker, hedge trimmer, chain saw etc...It's a good idea that I don't touch those.  :)

    But I say if it is bothering you, go for it! If it makes you feel better to mow the lawn, do it. But I think you'd be doing it more for your own peace of mind then to motivate him to do it by making him guilty, ya know? Sounds like he is just not that motivated to get it done.

    My sister went through this. My mother ended up mowing her lawn when they were both at work because it looked so bad. That pi$$ed my sister and her DH off so badly that now they keep it up nicely.  Haha. :)

  • Maybe there is a neighborhood teen that would do it cheap?

    Our lawn was bad earlier this summer.  So I mowed it.  I can't start it though, so I asked our neighbor that we are friends with to get it started.  He had a good laugh at DH that weekend when they hung out.  I haven't needed to do it since :)

    My level of acceptance of chores not being done is much tighter than DH's level of acceptance.  So I often do them since it drives me crazy for them not to be done.  It may not be a fair division of labor (considering I work 40hrs/week and he works 20).  I try not to "keep score".  Ultimately, (as long as I don't dwell on that) it works out better since I am happier in general when I don't have a running list of chores constantly going thru my head. 

    And there are certainly things that he does that I am thrilled not to have to deal with: vehicle maintainance, house repairs....umm that's all I can think of but I am sure he would rattle off a few more ;)

     

  • He works more at a job, but I mommy 24/7. I try and do outside stuff when I can, but it has to be when it is nap time and I am home. Otherwise I have to remind him the grass needs to be cut or whatever. I am truly my father's child.....he (dad) takes care of 90% of the home as do I.

    I don't love making car appointments and such, or being the one to keep track. My dh isn't handy at all, so I do pretty much everything that needs thought. I hate hate hate mowing the lawn, but I have done it the last 2 weeks....blah. It wouldn't be so bad if our property wasn't so hilly!

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