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Houston Babies
Sudden Swimming Fear: WWYD?
O's been in swimming classes twice a week for months now. He's always loved it, been excited to go, fully participated, etc. No fear. Last Thursday suddenly in the middle of class he started crying and begging for me. I pulled him out of the pool and he begged to go home. I figured something must be physically wrong so I got him dressed and we left. By the time we got to the car he was his happy self and playing as usual, nothing was wrong.
We talked about it throughout the weekend and he kept saying he was scared of the back floats, something he's done every class without problems. I tried reassuring him and talking about how fun swimming is and how we're going to keep doing it. I talked to his teacher before class last night and she couldn't pinpoint anything that could have happened to instill this fear.
Needless to say class last night was a nightmare. He had a huge meltdown and refused to get in the pool. I didn't want to perpetuate the fear so I physically put him in the water. While in the water he continued to scream and beg for us. We tried talking to him, not talking and sitting by the pool, leaving the pool area completely, nothing worked. The teacher was annoyed by his behavior and I could feel everyone in the pool area staring at us. Finally DH made him separate from his class and stay in the water until class was over. At the very end they jump off a block and he asked to participate in that. DH also made him apologize to the teacher for his behavior.
Now I'm second guessing myself. We forced him to stay in the pool because we don't want him to have a fear of the water and swimming, but is that something you really force a 3 1/2 year old to do? He was disturbing all of his class and everyone in the pool area and I could tell the teacher did not want to deal with his meltdown.
So would you force him to get in the pool or should I just end swimming for now if the meltdowns continue on Thursday?
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Re: Sudden Swimming Fear: WWYD?
That's a tough one. I would probably try it on Thursday and if he freaks out again then maybe take a break from the lessons for awhile? I think forcing him to be in the water might make the problem worse.
Maybe you could take him to a community pool and get in the pool with him? He might feel better about being in the water if you are with him. Rena goes to swim lessons and I have to be in the water with her until she's 30 months. I'm afraid she's going to freak out when she moves up to the next class and I'm not in the pool with her!
i have a similar situation on my hands. my dd will be 3 in december and we've been doing private lessons for her for 4 weeks. she did pretty well until last week, when it became more about the instructor letting go and her having to do some real stuff. now she cries a lot. my dh and i and the instructor talked about it and agreed we'd still make her do the lessons and i still make her get into the pool with me in addition. so, even though she's crying a lot during the session, she's still doing the motions of what the instructor's telling her to do. (asking for me the entire time) but it might be easier for us since it's not a class environment?
so, i'm hoping that with time and persistance, she'll get over the fear. the instructor says when she does break through, she'll think it's fun again.
good luck with yours.
We went through almost the same thing with Blake. He had been taking his lessons and doing very well. One day he freaked out and refused to get in. We tried everything, but he flat out would not do it. We tried to put him in but he just screamed and was disrupting the rest of the class so we removed him.
It was the same story for the next 3 classes. He wouldn't give us a reason why. He just didn't want to do it. We decided to just stop his lessons for now and try again in 6 months or so.
Our neighbor has a pool and we go over to swim a few times a month, and he does ok with that. I don't know if it's because he wears his vest, or if it's just more relaxed because he sees the rest of us in there.
For now we'll just back off and give him time to mature a bit more. I want to avoid having him associate negative experiences with the pool, so we'll just follow his lead and see what happens.
Good luck!
Thanks. Good to know I'm not alone. Monkaloo - that sounds like the same situation.
I think I'll just take it session by session. I may not force him in the water next time but make him sit and watch the class. I don't want to traumatize him or the rest of the class.
I'm sorry this has happened with O. That sounds really frustrating!
I'm beginning to think that learning to swim is really similar to learning to use the potty. There are occasions when you just have to back off and let it be their decision. I've not experienced what you just described but we're having no luck learning to swim this summer despite constant pool time and weekly swim lessons. Obviously they need to learn to swim because it's a safety issue, so I think you're right to have him in lessons. But if he has a similar reaction at his next lesson, I'd probably pull him from the class for now.
I'm a bump lurker just gathering baby information for the future future. But this topic peaked my interest as I teach swim lessons & coach swim team at the Y.
I've had many kiddies do the exact same thing. My guess is he probably got scared, especially if he was getting to the point of a little more independence or progressing.
As a teacher, I'm not one to push because they remember when you do. I think the light has to come on on their own time.
Here's a couple things I do in my classes to help:
Ask the teacher if he can bring a toy to class and leave it on side when it's his time to learn. I had a little boy who loved his football and once he could bring his "security toy" with him, he was good to go. We talked football all the time while he was learning swimming.
At the Y, the 1st level is Pike for the little ones. We offer a Parent/Pike class for the ones who aren't ready to be alone, need a parent in the water, or need a little extra push from their parents. Maybe it would be beneficial to take a step back for his comfort level.
If there's not a parent class available, I'd definitely try to do some fun time at the community pool or even in the bath tub. It's amazing how cool they think practicing in the bath tub can be.
You're definitely not alone. Believe me, there's plenty of kiddies throwing fits at the pool
I'd take him to the rest of the classes. If he wants to participate great, if not I'd let him sit on the side and watch the other kids. I definitely wouldn't force him to swim - let the light come on itself. Worse thing, you try again next summer.