I am an e-doctor and I will not hurt your e-feelings

Jessimurph · October 2008

Ask away ladies and trust my answers....I'm an e-doctor. Everything that comes out of my mouth is either sh!t or gold. For the next 11 minutes I assure you it will be gold.

Mrs.C042807 · October 2008

:holding up pus filled finger to computer screen:

Does this look infected to you? Am I dying?

BlairWaldorf · October 2008

I shamefully stole duckies' picture:

Brittany Goodwin · October 2008

Good one Jessi! Can you perform an e-ultrasound for me and tell me what I'm having?

Gretchen kiolbasa · October 2008

what if i was a man once and now im pg....do you think the baby will come out with too much testosterone?

hula_lula · October 2008

So you have your Google MD in medicine and in psychology?

cajuncutie0169 · October 2008

I'd like some gold covered shit please.

Jessimurph · October 2008

Mrs.C042807:
:holding up pus filled finger to computer screen:

Does this look infected to you? Am I dying?

Yes, it needs amputation stat. Call me to set up an e-appointment where I will e-amputate.

FutureHernandez · October 2008

If I spread my legs open over the monitor can you take a quick look?

Brittany Goodwin · October 2008

Blair stole my crybaby picture!!!! Grrrr

LOL

Jessimurph · October 2008

SC Native:
Good one Jessi! Can you perform an e-ultrasound for me and tell me what I'm having?

You are having a boy! Congrats on the penis inside you! ::snickers::

TimingisEverything · October 2008

You lie!

Jessimurph · October 2008

gunnitk:
what if i was a man once and now im pg....do you think the baby will come out with too much testosterone?

You will give birth to the first evah bearded baby. Congrats, and start investigating to circuses, I hear there is money to be made in bearded babies.

Jessimurph · October 2008

hula_lula:
So you have your Google MD in medicine and in psychology?

Derr.

N.Miller · October 2008

Love it Jess. I will always make sure that I consult my fellow nesties before even considering anything that my doctor says or recommends.

Jessimurph · October 2008

cajuncutie0169:
I'd like some gold covered shit please.

axehappymom · October 2008

If I poke my stomach, will I kill him from the force of it?

manda_mullins · October 2008

I got a tattoo 5 years ago. Will the ink hurt my baby? Indifferent

Jessimurph · October 2008

FutureHernandez:
If I spread my legs open over the monitor can you take a quick look?

Needs a bit of new car scent, but aside from that everything looks good.

birdie_1010 · October 2008

Please Help!!! My baby's e-feelings are hurt. I can't believe someone would would tell others it is OK to eat lettuce and get a bikini wax. Now my little bean is afraid it will have 3-headed classmates when it gets to kindergarten. Thanks a lot jerks!!

Jessimurph · October 2008

axehappymom:
If I poke my stomach, will I kill him from the force of it?

No, but it will annoy him so much that he will make you pay for it for the rest of your life. You're choice (I say go for it)

N.Miller · October 2008

If I pierce my nipples now will all my milk squirt out?

Jessimurph · October 2008

manda_mullins:
I got a tattoo 5 years ago. Will the ink hurt my baby?

No, but your baby will most likely be a whore. Sorry bout that.

cajuncutie0169 · October 2008

I give this post 5 stars.

HappyHeartUSA · October 2008

Dr. Jessimurph--

Is it possible to have a baby girl, but then if you eat something blue that it makes the baby a boy? I am so sacred-- I ate a blueberry and then a strawberry- and I don't know what sex my baby is now!

rease. · October 2008

BEST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!

Jessimurph · October 2008

HappyHeartUSA:
Dr. Jessimurph--

Is it possible to have a baby girl, but then if you eat something blue that it makes the baby a boy? I am so sacred-- I ate a blueberry and then a strawberry- and I don't know what sex my baby is now!

Don't worry too much. It IS still a girl, but you did temporarily turn the baby blue. That should wash off if you use bleach when she's born, so stock up!

sherron83 · October 2008

Dr. Jessimurph--

If I have sex will that hurt my baby???

( sorry couldn't help myself Big Smile )

HappyHeartUSA · October 2008

Jessimurph:
HappyHeartUSA:

Dr. Jessimurph--

Is it possible to have a baby girl, but then if you eat something blue that it makes the baby a boy? I am so sacred-- I ate a blueberry and then a strawberry- and I don't know what sex my baby is now!

Don't worry too much. It IS still a girl, but you did temporarily turn the baby blue. That should wash off if you use bleach when she's born, so stock up!

Thanks Dr. Jessimurph you are the bestsest E Dr on the Nest! PS, if I get pregnant right after the birth of this little one-- will I still be able to use the bleach to de-blue the first baby?

Ricky Bobby · October 2008

Ok... so If I pee on my monitor and it goes blue does that mean a boy? Oh tell me great e-doctor is it a boy or a girl?

LittleEgypt · October 2008

Dear Dr.,

I've gained 14lbs since becoming pregnant. Please validate my shallow sense of self-worth and tell me that's skinny. Also, do I have permission to run a marathon and lose the 14lbs before I give birth? I would like a head start on not being fat.

TIA,

Egypt

Jessimurph · October 2008

sherron83:
Dr. Jessimurph--

If I have sex will that hurt my baby???

( sorry couldn't help myself )

Only if your husband's penis is larger then mine. Then you're just screwed (haha, get it? Screwed? Yeah...)

Jessimurph · October 2008

LittleEgypt:
Dear Dr.,

I've gained 14lbs since becoming pregnant. Please validate my shallow sense of self-worth and tell me that's skinny. Also, do I have permission to run a marathon and lose the 14lbs before I give birth? I would like a head start on not being fat.

TIA,

Egypt

As long as you take up bulimia now, you and your fetus shall be perfect skinny goddesses by the time you are due. Good luck!

sherron83 · October 2008

Jessimurph:
sherron83:

Dr. Jessimurph--

If I have sex will that hurt my baby???

( sorry couldn't help myself )

Only if your husband's penis is larger then mine. Then you're just screwed (haha, get it? Screwed? Yeah...)

Not sure how big it should be... I will just have to chance it Wink

Jessimurph · October 2008

HappyHeartUSA:
Jessimurph:
HappyHeartUSA:

Dr. Jessimurph--

Is it possible to have a baby girl, but then if you eat something blue that it makes the baby a boy? I am so sacred-- I ate a blueberry and then a strawberry- and I don't know what sex my baby is now!

Don't worry too much. It IS still a girl, but you did temporarily turn the baby blue. That should wash off if you use bleach when she's born, so stock up!

Thanks Dr. Jessimurph you are the bestsest E Dr on the Nest! PS, if I get pregnant right after the birth of this little one-- will I still be able to use the bleach to de-blue the first baby?

Absatootinfruitinlootly. I'd say use extra if you're knocked up.

Shannonfitz83@yahoo.com · October 2008

Great e-doc... I know this is past your 11 minute gold session but...

my husband and I have been fornicating like rabbits lately is it possible for him to fertilize the fetus with his own grand-baby? I need to know because if so we need to move south... farrrr south... asap.

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I am an e-doctor and I will not hurt your e-feelings

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