Facebook and teenage potheads.

dundasgirl · August 2010

I am friends on facebook with a 15 year old girl I used to baby-sit. Her family and my family were close...They moved...I moved...We hardly see each other any more but they were at our wedding four years ago and I have seen them a few times since.

The issue is that her status updates always come up in my feed and she is clearly a pothead. Or likes to seem like one on facebook. She posts about being so messed up the night before, wake and bake, etc. Should I send her Mom a message and let her know what is going on....or just delete her off of my friend's list? It is really bothering me. I don't talk to them on a regular basis. Her Dad is in law enforcement.

I made up my mind earlier today NOT to get involved, but then I keep thinking about this girl and what she is getting herself into.

I can't get over what some people post on there. Going to come back and bite you in the arse later or what!?!!

JillRock96 · August 2010

I would probably delete her from my friends list (or, just block her updates if you'd rather). If she ever asks you why, tell her flat-out that you weren't comfortable with her status updates and did not want to be in a situation where you felt you needed to tell her parents. I personally wouldn't talk to her parents, but if she is putting it all out there for fb friends to see, then she shouldn't be surprised if you do. Although she may very well be majorly exaggerating (or even lying) to seem cool to her "friends."

charmcitygirl · August 2010

I would probably just defriend her. I know its hard not to get involved, but I just don't think its the right thing to do. My BFF's cousin is my friend on FB and she's a total pothead too. Granted, she's in college, so not 15! But I just laugh and move on.

I just don't think that people know that what they put on the Internet NEVER goes away!

dundasgirl · August 2010

Yeah, I should just defriend her. I don't want it to come back on me that I knew about all of this and did nothing either.

laura&dan05 · August 2010

I am friends on fb with all of my younger cousins and I've blocked them. Their status updates are annoying and really do they have to join 10,000 groups a day. The references to drinking, smoking, and sex upset me so that's why I blocked them. Since they are family I don't defriend them.

I am also friends with a girl I babysat for years ago. She is also my parents God daughter and we remain close with her family (we see them several times a year). When we became fb friends she was 18 or 19 and away at school. Her pictures made me SO upset. There were lots of drinking, smoking, making out, pictures. I sent her an e-mail and told her I was disappointed that she thought it was okay to post those pictures. I never said I'd tell her parents but I think she knew she was in enough "trouble" with me. A few weeks later all her pictures were cleaned up. The situation was different since I was close enough to her to say something.

ela81 · August 2010

I would tell her parents. One reason is because you do know them, if I was the parent I would want to know (we are a law enforcement family also), sometimes others need to get involved, even if it's just a little bit. Can you call them or shot them a quick email and just let them know that you are going to block her posts because of, xyz. Tell them you were not sure if you shoud say anything and you don't really feel comfortable being more involed but you did want to let them know what she is saying on a public forum. It could be a safety issue, people like to pray on teens who act the way she is. That's my 2 cents:) I'm sorry this is even an issue for you.

DavezWife · August 2010

If you were her mom, would YOU want someone telling you these things?

I say C&P a few things, and pass them on. I have no trouble being a rat when it comes to keeping kids out of trouble, or at least trying.

My young cousin kept posting FB things to the tune of "the sky is falling" and some of it was either a cry for help or a crappy exaggeration to gain attention. I knew her family unit was kinda a hot mess, but I finally told my dad to call his brother (her dad) and make sure she was really ok. Uncle appreciated it, and assured me she was just being 20 and stupid. I slept better knowing an extra eye was on her.

But if she's really partying that hard, the mom already knows. Or she's too dumb to care.

SparklyCutie · August 2010

just "hide" her so you don't see everything

hannah&ben · August 2010

If this were your child would you want to know? I sure as heck would. It's not like you snooped through this girls things and found something out.. she's posting it for all the world to see so she shouldn't really be shocked if/when her parents find out, kwim? Lies, exaggerations or flat out truth, it's all completely inappropriate.

dana316 · August 2010

I'm guessing her parents aren't on FB...or maybe she just thinks the world can't read? What a tool...

If she were my kid, I would want to know...for sure...

JillRock96 · August 2010

hannah&ben:
If this were your child would you want to know? I sure as heck would. It's not like you snooped through this girls things and found something out.. she's posting it for all the world to see so she shouldn't really be shocked if/when her parents find out, kwim? Lies, exaggerations or flat out truth, it's all completely inappropriate.

I completely agree with all of this, but...

If someone doesn't know his/her child well enough to know how she's spending her time and what she is posting online (for the world to see), then couldn't you make the assumption that the parent wouldn't care if he/she did know? Just my two cents.

yankee42 · August 2010

JillRock96:
hannah&ben:
If this were your child would you want to know? I sure as heck would. It's not like you snooped through this girls things and found something out.. she's posting it for all the world to see so she shouldn't really be shocked if/when her parents find out, kwim? Lies, exaggerations or flat out truth, it's all completely inappropriate.

I completely agree with all of this, but...
If someone doesn't know his/her child well enough to know how she's spending her time and what she is posting online (for the world to see), then couldn't you make the assumption that the parent wouldn't care if he/she did know? Just my two cents.

agree...what i say is to just ask them if they know she is on FB, and do they know what she is talking about on there...like, maybe set the wheels in motion for THEM to snoop..like get them to create a FB and insist that they friend her, innocently, and then they can snoop away...that way its not you being a snitch, but just kind of encouraging some extra monitoring

pamela-matt · August 2010

I will off ER up my thoughts as a mother of a teen on FB. When my son set up his Facebook I required he give me his password. He knew I would not check all the time but would do it periodically. He was 15 then I have seen plenty of posts from people on his new feed about parties and such, but he did not seem to be involved and I did not know these kids. In the last two weeks he changed his password and it has been an issue with us. He will be 18 in a cowpoke months and keeps pointing that out. It is a difficult spot to be. Parents need to be involved. If my child were 15 I would want to know however in also know getting involved is difficult. I would not hold it against anyone for not speaking up to me. I will also add that I saw a lot of stuff on his feed that I am sure was part of trying to "look" cool as opposed to being completely true. If you don't feel comfortable getting involved defriend her, but talk to her and tell her why. Use this as an opportunity to potentially teach her something. Good luck

browneyedgrl4282 · August 2010

It's a tough call here!

I have two younger sisters and we all joined facebook they were 16 and 18 (now they are 20 and 22) and I saw things that bothered me and I am their sister. A few things got me so mad I said something to them. Now at 20 and 22 they have grown up a lot (i think partly because I had kids and they saw how important it was to be a good role model) and the fact my mother is now on facebook!

I suggest hide her feed, defriend, or say something to her. I don't know if i would go as far as telling her parents though because it could all be the girl just talking and not even be true.

talentedgirl · August 2010

Fastforward 15 years.....

If you could see DS's FB I would want you to tell me, and I would tell you if I saw it on your kids.

gabbeyh · August 2010

I know this situation is a bit different since it is family. My cousin was writing about things that a 17 year old should not be doing, too the point that someone could have gotten hurt. I was not friends with him on facebook (he would not friend family for this reason), but you could still see his posts. I monitored them for awhile trying to decide if I should say something. I hit the roof when I read that he got a drunk driving ticket at 4 pm in the afternoon because they hit a car. He thought it was hilarious. I sent him a private message telling him that is the same time I'm driving home with Eli, and that I was disappointed in him. He never responded, but I didn't expect him to. I shot my Aunt an email telling her that I had read something concerning about him on facebook and that she should ask him about the message I sent him. I didn't rat him out completely but she started to question him and he spilled everything. He said most of the things that he posts could be taken the wrong way. She made him show her his entire facebook page, and started to put two and two together. Anyway, I think that parents of teenagers right now have it really tough (and I can only imagine what it will be like for us). I would mention something...even if it just a hint.

Want a personalized experience?

Facebook and teenage potheads.

Re: Facebook and teenage potheads.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards