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January 2011 Moms
pawcall
member
NBR - Am I wrong for thinking this is tacky?
pawcall
member
Sorry - this is long...
Yesterday, I got an evite to a friend's boyfriend's surprise 35th birthday party.
My friend and I are close-ish - we are coworkers but do hang out outside of work on occasion. I know her boyfriend fairly well, as I see him a few times a month when we go out.
I was on the fence about going to the party, only because I am not in their "circle" outside of work and won't really know anyone there but them. Plus, it's being billed as a "let's all get wasted" party - which doesn't appeal to me all that much.
The evite said that the hostess (my coworker) will provide "snacks and drinks" but requests that people bring a "favorite dish." Hiss. I hate potluck, I really don't cook. But whatever, I'm sure I can whip up an app.
Here's where it gets tacky:
Today, I receive an email sent out to partygoers with something to "keep in mind, in case you were considering bringing a gift" (her words). She then goes on to tell us that she wants to buy him (and by extension, herself, since they live together) a gigantic TV.
At the bottom of the email, she explained that she has set up a "donations account" and she was kind enough to provide a link that, when clicked, takes you to paypal so that you can simply give her money for the TV.
So I'm taking it like this: Dear friend, please come to my party. Bring food. Send money now.
I'm kinda outraged. And not terribly interested in buying her any part of a new ginormous tv.
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
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~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
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Re: NBR - Am I wrong for thinking this is tacky?
LOL omg that is SUPER frickin' tacky!!!! I would pass on all of the above.
Edit to unquote...didn't mean to do that!
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
Yeah. That's a bit overboard. But, I'm weird about people asking for "donations" to things that aren't charity or medical bill related.
I also kinda thinks its weird asking people to bring a dish to a party. It's one thing if its a get-together, but this is a birthday party for someone. The hostess/family should be providing the food.
So, to answer, no I don't think you're wrong for thinking its tacky.
Katie: 1/16/08 2lbs. 15oz.
Abby & Emily: 12/31/10 6lbs. 2oz. & 5lbs. 7oz.
Super lame and tacky. I would not want to go at all.
You should respond with, "Here is the link to the info regarding my 'I am having a baby' account. Donations welcome and much appreciated."
Adults don't get gifts at birthday parties beyond gag gifts. They get a "Happy Birthday!", a drink bought for them if possible and if they really rate....a card.
I do buy birthday gifts for DH and our parents and siblings but not for friends or extended family.
Birthday parties are hosted events, not potluck get-togethers.
I suggest you offer to throw in $25.00 for her TV fund if she'll throw in $25.00 for your baby crib/child's first car/college education fund. If she takes you up on the offer, it's a wash, and if not... then maybe it mean she's seen the error of her tacky ways. :P
VERY tacky!! Wow.
"Hey, I know you all were planning on bringing gifts, but just in case you weren't, here's 1) a reminder that you should and 2) a generous offer to just let you help ME buy MY gift for DH."
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
This. I only exchange b-day gifts with one friend. It's sort of understood in my group that adults don't do that. If we do celebrate where money is exchanged, it's a big dinner where the whole group splits the bill, or each couple pays for themselves. Or I show up to the party with a bottle of wine and that's the "gift".