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Sex after childbirth?

Sunshine2121Sunshine2121
in Minnesota Babies
Ok, so embarrasing question.. I know the rule is 6 weeks after childbirth... but who really is ready to do it at that time? what would you guys say is the normal time frame for when one really feels up to it again? I am going on 9 weeks post delivery and am honestly just not feeling it yet.. is this normal?
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Re: Sex after childbirth?

  • ElizabethDElizabethD
    If the nest were men, they'd be VERY open about how long it took their wives...weeks turn into months!  Everyone is different.  I think it's just about trusting your body, your emotions, and keeping in good emotional contact with your DH.  :)
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  • mbgreenwaltmbgreenwalt member

    I was ready at 4 weeks, but waited until my 6 week appointment.  It was a really, really, really long 2 weeks. 

    I think whenever your ready is the right time.  There is a lot of trauma that happens and it is scary when the pain is so fresh in your mind.  Also, your hormones can take forever to regulate.  I'm still hot flashing like crazy.

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  • mplsbride31mplsbride31
    I was not ready for awhile after that. It was definitely after 6 weeks, maybe closer to 12? I was just exhausted all the time and it just wasn't there. It does come back! You're just going through a huge life change right now so just go easy on yourself.
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  • Janell's NestJanell's Nest
    It was a while, I won't lie...but neither one of us had much energy at the end of the day in the beginning.  I had stitches and gave it longer to heal, and between that and just how exhausted we were raising an infant sleep was more important at that point then any sex we could have had.  Don't worry it'll come back and once the routine starts to take shape you'll even find time :)
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  • ilovebijouilovebijou member
    I definitely didn't feel ready at 8 weeks. I had stitches and it still didn't feel like everything was back to normal. Also, I had no sex drive. I agree with pp that neither dh or I had much energy with taking care of a baby. It took me about 5 months to feel like I had some interest in sex again. I think my hormones are finally getting regulated because I just got my period last month too. I asked my midwife about lack or no libido and she said its completely normal for it to take a long time to come back. It is also your body's natural response so that you don't get pregnant again by having zero sex drive.

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  • brifox711brifox711
    imagembgreenwalt:

    I was ready at 4 weeks, but waited until my 6 week appointment.  It was a really, really, really long 2 weeks. 

    I think whenever your ready is the right time.  There is a lot of trauma that happens and it is scary when the pain is so fresh in your mind.  Also, your hormones can take forever to regulate.  I'm still hot flashing like crazy.

    Same with me...actually, I might have been ready after 3 weeks, and waiting was not fun!  When you do decide to go for, just take it slow.  I had a c-section, and it was still a bit uncomfortable at first, but it gets better each time.

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  • MrsGo4HockeychickMrsGo4Hockeychick member

    it took me a long time to be ready. longer than I thought it would. 

     

    and even though a lot of people feel ok before 6 weeks, it's set there because that is the amount of time most women's uteruses take to heal the wound from the placenta. It's a huge infection risk before it's healed. (and you wouldn't believe the number of women you'll see on 0-3 having sex at 3 and 4 weeks!).  

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  • Sunshine2121Sunshine2121
    Thanks guys, this is helpful. I had a level 4 tear and so am also thinking that the trauma to the old bod has something to do with it too... i really appreciate everyone's honesty!
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  • hbach83hbach83 member
    I had a bad tear with DS1 but it healed really quickly and we'd started resuming sex before the 6 week appointment. With DS2, I had a very small tear but it didn't heal. We'd tried to have sex prior to the 6 week appt, but I knew something was off down there and we couldn't. My 6 wk appt confirmed that my tear had hemorrhaged and I had to have it cauterized (TWICE - two diff appts!) so we had to wait til about 8 weeks to have normal sex. Since then, in the last year or so, we've had sex maybe 10 times.... having a high maintenance baby/toddler really takes up most of our energy so the love life is lacking. :/
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