Would you use a "Runner up" name for a future child?

Allie30 · August 2010

I saw a post on here earlier that was at a loss to find a name for their second daughter, because they didn't want to use any of the names they'd "rejected" (as in "runner up" names) for their first child. I've seen it taken even further, that people won't use the name they'd picked out for the baby if it's the opposite sex if they subsequently have a child of that sex.

I was a little surprised to hear that. My little brother's name is the name I'd have had if I was a boy. My parents loved that name, I was a girl and they still loved it when they later had a son.

My husband and I have created a short list for our daughter and we'll decide when we "meet" her. If someday we have another daughter, why would we jettison our other top three names, unless we don't like them anymore? they are still our favorites out of all the names in the world.

I guess I don't understand the stigma. Does anyone feel this way about vetoing your entire short list from your first child for subsequent children? Can you explain the reasoning to me?

sunnyday016 · August 2010

I'd totally use runner up names, or the boy names we liked before we knew we were having a girl. Seems silly not to.

rubyshoes7 · August 2010

I don't know much about this I guess because when we picked DS's name, it stuck, but I'm guessing that they begin to attach any of the names to the baby, therefore it might feel wrong to give a completely different child one of the names previously considered. I'm with you though, I don't see why you couldn't use your "rejected" names.

Allie30 · August 2010

I can totally see it if you have attached a particular name to a baby and then its born and that name isn't "right" -- or if, heaven forbid, something happens and you lose the baby -- but if you've got a list, then you aren't really attaching any name to the baby -- at least I'm not. (Well, we've been calling her Peanut a lot in utero, even though she's a lot closer to Pumpkin in size now!)

I think the idea is "well, if the name wasn't good enough for DD#1, why should we use it on DD#2?" But she can only have one name (well, two, but her middle name is already set). It's not a matter of thinking it's not good enough. It's just not right. But if you're like me and have been poring over thousands of names ever since you got the plus sign, it's going to be hard to come up with another list of four hypothetical baby names you like as much as the runners-up.

braveangel2 · August 2010

I think it's all a matter of preference - our runner up girl name is too close to our daughter's actual name, so no. Our boy name is still in the running with another boy name we've come to love. For us it's a matter of where we are in our lives, and how we still feel about the names when the next opportunity comes around.

chancellors mommy · August 2010

I would use a runner up name ecspecially if i liked it well enough to make the tops of my name list=)

heyitsme · August 2010

I think it depends. Like this time around, I think DH assumed that we would use the boy name we chose for DD (if she had been a boy), but I didn't love it as much now as I did then. So I didn't reject it because it was "her name" but I rejected it because I just wasn't feeling it...

That being said, we'd consider it again for future children, if I decide I love it again... Wink

Unknown · August 2010

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goldenleaves · August 2010

We had a really tough time with naming Ryan. Our name list is pretty much the same (minus Ryan of course) if we have a boy for baby #2. Our girl list is exactly the same! DH has baby fever (even though we aren't TTC for a year) and brings up baby names all the time!

KissyFishyLips · August 2010

I don't see why not. You like the names for a reason, so why force yourselves to come up with a whole new list of maybes for the next child?

hewinked · August 2010

Nah, I don't think the names are automatically out just cuz you didn't use them for another child. The only reason I could see not using it is if your tastes change. DD was gonna be Andrew James if she was a boy. Now, we are having a boy this time and neither one of us are feeling the name anymore, so we won't be using it. If we still loved it, I'm sure we would.

brookelynpaisley · August 2010

I wouldn't not use a name for a subsequent pregnancy. Why wouldn't you? Unless I've decided I no longer like the name, I see now reason to use a second choice name or the other sex's name for #2.

Spin313 · August 2010

I think it's one of those situations where you have to be in the situation to know how you'll feel about it. We're having our second and (although DH is being a PITA and doesn't want to talk names yet) I am not considering almost any of the names I liked the first time around for various reasons...a) shot down by DH the first time, b) taken by other friends, c) not as in love with them as before, etc etc.

strangebird · August 2010

Honestly, the dislike for using a discarded or runner-up name for a second child never occurred to me until I started seeing it mentioned repeatedly on the Bump. It seems to me, if you follow that rule, you'll end up giving your second child not a "second best" name, but a third or fourth best, something not even good enough to be on the short list the first time around. Clearly, a lot of people see it differently.

For us, we have a list of three boys' names and four girls' names, which we picked out at the beginning of my first pregnancy. If I had discarded the "top" name for each pregnancy I lost, I would literally have no names left and would be giving my firstborn, not the names I've loved and dreamed of for years, but some other name, for which I would have to do a lot of scouring and searching. It doesn't make sense for us at all and I don't really see how it makes sense for anyone else.

That said, I do understand that all children eventually ask their parents how they got the name they were given or why it was chosen and I wouldn't want to answer, 'well, it was second on our list. Since your sister was born first, it was the natural choice.' Luckily, we didn't choose our names just because they appealed to us when we read them in a baby name book--each and every one of them has a particular meaning for us, whether it's a family name, from our favorite books, or the meaning/origin of the name is significant, so we'll have stories to share.

KLMFBP3 · August 2010

Rory is our DS#2 name - was supoosed to be DS#1 name until days before we had DS#1 and heard Sawyer and loved it and switched it last minute.

So...it wasn't that Rory was RUNNER UP, as we both loved it also...and we used it on DS#2.

PhilsWife07 · August 2010

We are. I don't see anything wrong with it.

CrazyToast · August 2010

I can't imagine NOT using one of the "runner up" names for another child (unless a different one jumps out at us at that time). Those are the names DH & I love...and would love to use. SO WEIRD that people wouldn't want to do that, IMO.

Brandibaby28 · August 2010

I so would use a runner-up name! you thought about it for a reason before?!

kklickka · August 2010

We had a girl name picked out for DS before we knew what he was, but we won't use it for this one, which is a girl, because it starts with the same letter (we were naming DS after someone and it had to start with N). So Noah and Nora is just a little to matchy for me, KWIM? I do love the name though.

Under.the.Rose · August 2010

I would totally use a runner-up name if/when we have more children down the road! I have two totally different experiences with choosing a name though:

I truly LOVE the name Claire and I have for years and if we ever have a girl, I wouldn't name her anything else... however there are lots of other girl names that I love, it's just not as essential that I ever have a chance to use them I guess. I guess in this instance I could see how people would feel bad that they gave their absolute favourite name to one child and not the other, but I personally wouldn't feel bad about it.

Boy names are tough because even now we don't have one that we truly LOVE over all the other names the same way I love the name Claire... we're just simply trying to find the name that feels "right" or most natural for our little guy/for our family.

Temp984666312503071 · August 2010

Yes, I would use a runner up name for a future child.

There are many "runner up" names for the baby I am pregnant with that I would use in a heartbeat because I love them. His chosen name is just the one that worked at this point... not something that renders all other boy names inferior.

DD didn't have any runner up names. I knew since I was a little girl that I wanted a "Baby Kate". Luckily DH didn't fight me on it . There are certainly other girl names I like a lot, but I would have to come up with a whole new list.

queenbone · August 2010

I put together a spread sheet of names we liked when I was pg with DS#1 and I copied the exact same spread sheet for this baby minus DS's name. In fact before we settled on Theodore for DS#1, I had to woo DH to that name, we tried out Francis on him for one day while we were in the hospital. I really liked it, but I had liked Theo longer. We will be naming this boy Francis.

I didn't realize people tossed out all the potential names from their previous children...seems like a lot of extra work to me

clayswife · August 2010

We aren't but we (I) have decided I don't like the names we had picked out for DS this time around.

Camok87 · August 2010

We would definately use a ' runner up name'. I don't see the problem with doing so - you liked the names for a reason - why not use them if you get the opportunity!?

cozylittlecave · August 2010

Our choices right now are also our choices for future siblings. We don't think of them as much as 'runner ups' though. Obviously- that means we'll be picking future names from the same list though.

JesseKhloe&Me · August 2010

sunnyday016:
I'd totally use runner up names, or the boy names we liked before we knew we were having a girl. Seems silly not to.

THIS!!!

KateLouise · August 2010

i would definitely use our "runner up" names. I loved all of our short list and it was only because we had to choose one that the others got rejected.

We waited until she was born and decided Elizabeth felt right.

Since then I've gone through the rest of the list in my mind and whilst one of the other names would suit her, the others simply wouldn't.

Desmond&MollyJones* · August 2010

We had two names picked out for sure, Tennyson and Annika. Since we had a boy, we used Tennyson. If we have another child and its a girl, she will most likely be Annika. If we have another boy, we're effed. Wink

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