TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

Hmm. WDYT? (Genetic testing)

My x bff is a severe diabetic. Seriously bad. As in by the age of 22, her kidneys were almost failing. Her dad is a diabetic, as is her sister and her brother. They're all quite severe cases.

This girl had a baby a little over a month ago, and I found out from a mutual acquaintance that she didn't do any sort of genetic testing. 

Maybe it's because I can't stand her, but does this strike anyone else as REALLY selfish? The odds that her baby will have severe diabetes is pretty damn high. 

Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section

Re: Hmm. WDYT? (Genetic testing)

  • First question is, is there a test available to even screen for diabetes?  A quick google search says no there isn't, so I don't see how that is wrong that she didn't do any tests that wouldn't detect a risk factor anyway.  Are you really questioning her decision to have a biological child?
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  • I'm not sure.  Can they test for that?  Is it one of those that they know will probably skip a generation?  I know several people with type 1 diabetes, and they have had it since they were kids, but if it's that serious...  Also, knowing there is a high risk they can test early and catch it before a lot of damage is done.  Hmm, I just don't know.
    imageimage
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
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  • imagePixiestx:
    First question is, is there a test available to even screen for diabetes?  A quick google search says no there isn't, so I don't see how that is wrong that she didn't do any tests that wouldn't detect a risk factor anyway.  Are you really questioning her decision to have a biological child?

    Yes.  There is.  There's a screening test for 3 different things that show an increased risk of diabetes or a proclivity to develop it during one's lifetime.  If a patient has 1, their risk goes from 1 in 3,000 to 3 in 1,000.  If they have more than one, their risk goes up from there.

    No, it's not a diagnostic test, but if I came from a family like that, I sure as HELL would have all testing done. 

  • imagePixiestx:
    First question is, is there a test available to even screen for diabetes?  A quick google search says no there isn't, so I don't see how that is wrong that she didn't do any tests that wouldn't detect a risk factor anyway.  Are you really questioning her decision to have a biological child?

    No no no, not even close to questioning that decision. There are ways to have a biological child even with genetic screening.

    I guess if it were me, I would be very paranoid about passing that kind of thing on to my child. With them, it wasn't even a consideration. We were friends for 10+ years, and I saw the struggles she went through with her diabetes. I guess it just surprised me that she wasn't concerned with passing it on.

     

    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • imageKristysRedBarn:
    I'm not sure.  Can they test for that?  Is it one of those that they know will probably skip a generation?  I know several people with type 1 diabetes, and they have had it since they were kids, but if it's that serious...  Also, knowing there is a high risk they can test early and catch it before a lot of damage is done.  Hmm, I just don't know.

    I know quite a few people with diabetes, and normally wouldn't bat an eye. However, just because of the family history (her dad, all 3 siblings and one of her grandparents) this diabetes appears to be genetic. They all developed it under the age of 6, so it's really early onset.

    I don't know either.. it was just one of those things that made me go "hmmm". 

    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • Is she doing anything to try and determine if her baby is currently diabetic?

    I honestly don't know enough about genetic testing for diabetes and even if she did it and found out the baby had it, there's nothing she could do about it right. (except treat the diabetes in the baby once it was born)

    I would think she's VERY VERY selfish if now, when the baby is here, she is not doing anything to monitor and determine if the baby has diabetes. I think I read that they should be tested every so often for years, right?

    And pixie, nowhere did carrie say she's judging this person for HAVING a baby. Just expressing concern that the mother may not be doing anything to an advocate for her child and her health.

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  • If the testing would help her to know whether there were certain treatments or things she should do to increase the health of her child, it would seem to me to be pretty irresponsible not to try to get as much information as possible.  Is she doing testing now that the baby is born?  I'd be scared sh*tless if I was in her position and would do whatever I could to make sure I did the best I could for my kid so they didn't have to go through everything that all of the other family members have had to go through.  I wonder why she didn't do the testing (my guesses are money and/or time, two reasons that aren't very good, but maybe she had other/better reasons).
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  • I don't know that I would do genetic testing for diabetes in her circumstance unless there was something I could do during pregnancy to help the situation. That said, I really, really hope that she has had some monitoring since the baby has been born.

     Maybe she's in denial or doesn't want to face it?

    image
  • Wait, am I confused?  Probably.  Have they not done any testing since the baby was born?  If that's the case, there is no excuse for that since they know there is a big family history there. 
    imageimage
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
    April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
  • imageKristysRedBarn:
    Wait, am I confused?  Probably.  Have they not done any testing since the baby was born?  If that's the case, there is no excuse for that since they know there is a big family history there. 

    Honestly, I'm not too sure if testing has been done since the baby was born. I don't talk to her anymore. It was a conversation relayed to me by a mutual friend.  Maybe she is doing the testing now. I'll get the mutual friend to ask. Like I said, it was just something that made me go hmmm.

    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • If there is only a screening that gives you a risk, I could see why she wouldn't bother.  I know of several stories of women who got the screening tests done and were told that the risk of DS was low, but the baby was born with it.  To me that type of test doesn't seem all that helpful if you need to wait until the baby is born to know anything anyway.  If they could know from an amnio that they baby definitely had it, then that only seems like it would be useful if they would terminate.  So as long as the baby was tested and monitored appropriately once it's born it seems like what she did during her pregnancy wouldn't really matter.   That's all I mean by my eariler comment, that it seems like it's getting pg at all that would be the decision and after that she just has to wait and see what happens no matter what tests are done.

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  • imagePixiestx:

    If there is only a screening that gives you a risk, I could see why she wouldn't bother.  I know of several stories of women who got the screening tests done and were told that the risk of DS was low, but the baby was born with it.  To me that type of test doesn't seem all that helpful if you need to wait until the baby is born to know anything anyway.  If they could know from an amnio that they baby definitely had it, then that only seems like it would be useful if they would terminate.  So as long as the baby was tested and monitored appropriately once it's born it seems like what she did during her pregnancy wouldn't really matter.   That's all I mean by my eariler comment, that it seems like it's getting pg at all that would be the decision and after that she just has to wait and see what happens no matter what tests are done.

    There are plenty of reasons to do genetic testing in utero.  It's silly to think that the only "useful" outcome of knowing your LO's condition prior to birth is to terminate.  A lot of people make that assumption and it's incorrect.

     

     

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  • imagePixiestx:

    If there is only a screening that gives you a risk, I could see why she wouldn't bother.  I know of several stories of women who got the screening tests done and were told that the risk of DS was low, but the baby was born with it.  To me that type of test doesn't seem all that helpful if you need to wait until the baby is born to know anything anyway.  If they could know from an amnio that they baby definitely had it, then that only seems like it would be useful if they would terminate.  So as long as the baby was tested and monitored appropriately once it's born it seems like what she did during her pregnancy wouldn't really matter.   That's all I mean by my eariler comment, that it seems like it's getting pg at all that would be the decision and after that she just has to wait and see what happens no matter what tests are done.

    Uhm no. I wasn't even coming CLOSE to suggesting that. What I meant was that PRIOR to getting pregnant, she did no genetic testing to assess the odds of passing it on to her child. 

    Who the hell would terminate because of diabetes?!? 

    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • imageCarrieLeigh84:
    imagePixiestx:

    If there is only a screening that gives you a risk, I could see why she wouldn't bother.  I know of several stories of women who got the screening tests done and were told that the risk of DS was low, but the baby was born with it.  To me that type of test doesn't seem all that helpful if you need to wait until the baby is born to know anything anyway.  If they could know from an amnio that they baby definitely had it, then that only seems like it would be useful if they would terminate.  So as long as the baby was tested and monitored appropriately once it's born it seems like what she did during her pregnancy wouldn't really matter.   That's all I mean by my eariler comment, that it seems like it's getting pg at all that would be the decision and after that she just has to wait and see what happens no matter what tests are done.

    Uhm no. I wasn't even coming CLOSE to suggesting that. What I meant was that PRIOR to getting pregnant, she did no genetic testing to assess the odds of passing it on to her child. 

    Who the hell would terminate because of diabetes?!? 

    That's exactly what I was saying!  With diabetes, not other conditions where it might be useful to know in utero, I just don't see the point in doing the genetic tests if you are going to be willing to take the chance of passing it along no matter what the odds. 

    I know people who have genetic diseases (both husband and wife) they could pass on and will not go through any special testing beforehand. They know there is a risk and they believe what they believe about still wanting to create a child together and I will not question it because they are not doing it because they are irresponsible.  Would I do something different? YES, but if I want people to not question my decision to terminate than I think I should not judge for their choices based on their beliefs.

    Brenna Married 4.30.05

    Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11

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