Talk to me about PPA/ Intrusive thoughts
soko987
member
I went back to work two weeks ago. Since then, I have been having momentary "flashes" - images of horrible things happening to my LO. Things that, if they were to happen, would be complete freak accidents - like our television falling off the wall and crushing her...or worse ( I can't even bring myself to type them out. )
In the first few weeks of her life, I was plagued by this anxiety. As I got the hang of being a mom, my fears subsided. But now, four months later, these thoughts are popping into my head again...I have a feeling that it's a reaction to being back to work, and the stress of trying adjust to being a working mom. I am hoping that this anxiety subsides once I get used this new situation.
I just love my little girl so much...and I'm terrified of something happening to her. To put it simply, I've never had so much to lose.
Can anyone relate?
Re: Talk to me about PPA/ Intrusive thoughts
Yes, I have had some MAJOR scary thoughts, most of which were me harming Drew. I didn't want to harm him, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Then I would begin to obsess. Obsess over everything.
I have OCD as well as Anxiety and I am in therapy weekly for it. I also had to go on meds, I just could not get better without them, and now I realize I may never be able to get off them but I am finally happy. And that's all that matters.
If you need someone to talk to, please email me. I found talking to someone about the scary feelings I was having knowing that a - they had been through them before and b- they were not going to judge me helped SO much.
Crazy internet stalkers, unite my full name! - LeaAskren@live.com
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
Thanks, ladies. I'm just trying to figure out if this is something that will pass. My thoughts do not center on me hurting the baby, and I wouldn't say that they consume me...but at least four to five times a day they pop into my head. It's very unnerving, but I am hoping that once I settle into my working mom routine, they will subside, just as they did when she was first born.
It's nice to know I'm not alone. I think that I am always going to harbor some anxiety now that I'm a mother. But if it doesn't get better, I definitely plan on talking to my doctor. As a matter of fact, my annual is in a few weeks, I may bring it up and see what she thinks.
Thank you for being honest and strong enough to post this. I am a very new mom (2 weeks in) and am unattached from my baby and my life right now. I also have horrible anxiety that is getting worse by the day. I thought I was the only one out there with fears of hurting my LO. I LOVE her so much(though I dont feel it now I KNOW I do) but throughout the last week I have thoughts of what if i freak and hurt her? anyways I started meds and therapy starts tomorrow. The rule is mommy has to have company until she is better.......I know I would never hurt her but I wont even entertain myself being given the option. she is to perfect.
Enough about me.......I wanted to tell you how strong you must be to go this long and fight it on your own. I dont know how you did it. I hope I get you mental strength. You made it through this before and you will again. HTH