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3rd Trimester
Nesting is making my life hell..
Ok, throughout my entire pregnancy I have been emotionally, mentally, and physically ok. Sure, I've cried a few times (once because we ran out of hot pockets, the other because I felt fat), but now I've gone from that to crying almost 3 times a day and it's over the same stupid issue of nesting.
My problem is that even though I've had my baby shower (hardly anyone chose to come) and they are all keeping me in limbo of "Oh, I have a gift for you but I won't tell you what it is until I can make it over to you around when Lucy's born." ...... WTF?!? So currently, I'm nesting, and it is the worst feeling in the world because it's a very STRONG feeling that I need to kick my butt in gear and get the nursery ready to go. I've already washed the floors and walls, scrubbed every nook and cranny of the furniture, washed everything washable, set up what I could, put everything together, and yet there's still the bed in there from when it was a guest bedroom so I can't arrange everything how I want it and I can't paint or hang anything so I'm stuck just sitting on the bed and wishing there were more things I could do to satisfy my urge. But the worst part is, is that I can't go shopping for things we still need because 1, we have to save up $300 to buy the rest of the stuff and 2, I have no idea what to even get because no one is using my registry and they aren't telling anyone else what they have, so for all I know I could have 3,000 size one diapers coming my way. My main concern is that I don't want to deal with a crib set to wash and take care of at the last minute because I'll either be too big and exhausted to move, or LO has actually come and in that case she'll have nowhere to sleep because I have to wash the stupid thing because she can go near it.
So what I do is let everyone know that I would really, really love it if I got my gifts now instead of when the baby comes since they ever so kindly skipped out on my baby shower. They all took it as I'm being a spoiled brat and even though they live 15 minutes away, they are going to hold onto the gifts until AFTER she's born. Annnd here is when my anxiety kicks in and I'm frustrated that all of the mom's I know aren't being sympathetic to this instinct at all and are in no way understanding. At this point I don't even care about gifts and I wish people would return them so I can just get my own and not deal with their 'I'm going to play God with gifts that I say you need'. I wish there was understanding somewhere out there. I don't mean to be this person who just wants gifts as soon as possible because I'm greedy, I just want them so I have time to clean up, go shopping for the rest of the stuff, and spend my time relaxing until she's born. Is anyone else out there having an extremely hard time with nesting or am I just not meant to handle this?
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Re: Nesting is making my life hell..
I completely understand how you feel. My shower was a month ago and, although I had a good turn out, NO ONE bought anything off of my registry. Its soo aggravating to deal with people asking you for weeks BEFORE the shower what you need, or want, blah blah blah when your invite had 3 different registries on it! So what happened was I ended up with 3 or 4 of everything! Same outfits, same blankets, you would seriously think i was having triplets. UGH! So i had the job or returning things that I got multiples of which most ppl didn't put in gift receipts.
So some people are just so inconsiderate. Showers and gifts are meant to make it easier on preggo mom not harder. I would feel exactly the same as you are feeling if I had to wait around till it was convenient for other people to give you your gifts. I hope things get better, if anything buy everything you need and when these rude people get around to bringing their stuff by, return all the gifts to make up for the money you had to spend!
This isn't a nesting problem, this is a greed problem.
Go buy what you need in order to care for your baby. If people end up giving you things you don't need/already have, you can try to return them.
You don't need a crib set to bring home your baby. You need a crib, a mattress and a $5 sheet from Target.
i feel your pain, sista!
my last shower was a few weeks ago, and it was killing me that it was so late in my pregnancy (6 weeks before due date.) I understand. You want to know what you have and what you dont have so that you can be prepared for the baby.
its not about the greed of wanting 'things' per se, but just being prepared for taking care of a newborn. i get it!
well, if you can afford to get the things you really really need on your own, i would suggest doing so. that way you know what you have, you can get it ready and you have peace of mind.
When you finally get all the stuff your friends and family finally decide to give you, take it back and get gift cards/merchandise credit. Then you have money set aside for diapers, clothes, or any other thing that might come up for baby.
good luck. and you're not crazy.
As for the greed post, the crib set is coming from one of the people who isn't giving it to me until the very last minute. I already have a sheet set and mattress. They are just being rude.
There's probably about still $100 in things we still need, as in the bare basics, so we still have to budget for that, but it's not like I have a problem buying everything. I have already bought a few things that I needed and a few people have told me to return them because 'someone' already got them for me. No, I am not going to return something I bought because you are too lazy to mail it even though you live close enough to drive over and I offer to drive to you to get it but you say mailing it is easier..
Plus I honestly think most of the people say they have and gift and they really don't. Like when I had my baby shower a couple hours before I got bombarded with a ton of texts and fb comments about 'Sorry, we can't make it, but I'll mail you your gift soon!' .... Yeah, because I want a cheap $10 toy instead of your company and support.
But it does make it a little easier knowing that I'm not crazy lol it just makes me feel like I am when I'm talking to everyone and they all act like a brick wall.
I'm not sure if you find this cute, but it is lol
So you're calling your friends and family rude, lazy and cheap?
I can't imagine why they're not all beating down a path to your door to give you gifts.
I would try to stop worrying about it - there is nothing you can do about other people and it's just going to drive you nuts. There is very little you actually NEED for a baby in the beginning (a few onesies, diapers, boobs and a place to sleep). I would be willing to bet that people would not wait until after the baby is born to give you a baby necessity.
Be grateful that people care enough about you to buy you gifts at all and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. You have the rest of this baby's life to stress about little (and big) things. Worse case scenario, they give you something you don't need/want, but is that really a terrible thing?
I agree with you OP. When money is tight, it sucks to know that you have things but don't even know what they are! I guess assume they are clothes and things because if it was nursery stuff (big items) they would definitely bring them over before LO is born. But you would think people would be sensitive to the fact that you're freaking out in prep mode!
I think saying they won't drive 15 minutes to see YOU but are holding out to see the baby is pretty rude.
We're just getting the basics ourselves and adding the rest to the registry. It's true, all you need is some type of crib or bassinet (we're doing a co-sleeper), diapers, and possibly bottles, + basic clothes.
Mama to Sebastian, born 9/2010
Floridakat = rational
wow what a piece of work you are...
maybe your BFs girlfriend can supply the rest of the baby supplies for you...or maybe you should be able to afford your bqaby needs without expecting others to do so.