DH's Comment...how would you take it?

JeremiahsMommy · August 2010

**I walk everyday for some daily exercise and to relax and to make me feel better. Sometimes DH goes with me other days he dont.

So today we go to the doc again and I have gained another 4 pounds (mind you, since last friday's apt.) Also dialated 1.5 cm to 2 cm. The last 3 times I have went in I have gained and even 4 pounds. This entire pregnancy I really hadnt gained very much weight and was always told "girl, you are all baby". Dh could tell I was a little worried about packing on that much that quick but didnt say anythign to me about it. So then he just calls me to say I talked to my parents about the doc. visit and we decided that we all should go walking from now on and go for longer walks. We thought it might help you! * So now my question is how would you take that? As we thought we could help you with your weight gain, kind of like encouraging me to walk more to help me regulate my weight? Or do you think they were meaning it like help her dialate more and have this baby? He didnt really say and didnt really care to ask. Guess I should have!! Im thinking his parents meant it as help me have this baby since they have been where we are now several times and they know what is best. But im very emotional and starting to take it in a bad way, about my weight gain. Please help this emotionally crazy lady, please : )

mechanicsgirl · August 2010

I think he just realized that you were having trouble coming to terms with the weight gain and was trying to be supportive of you exercising to stay healthy. I wouldn't think anything of it.

danienross · August 2010

if he was talking about your weight, he probably only said it because he noticed you were concerned. if he's talking about helping you progress, then thats fine too.

either way i don't think he said it to hurt you. to me it sounds like he is trying to be supportive and with your pregnancy hormones and him being vague, it just didn't go well.

CourtneyR2N · August 2010

Initial reaction was that it was poke at your weight gain.

But since you said to help you dialate, I think that is probably what he and his parents meant. They want to give you support and help you to get things moving along.

KSME924 · August 2010

I would ask what brought on that thought or idea. If it was weight gain based, I would explain that the extra lbs aren't packing onto my ass, that they are fluid, baby, whatever and walking isn't going to change that.

It sounds like you are doing great, don't let anyone and their idiotic comments get to you.

Mrslove78 · August 2010

I'd call back and ask now.

Allie30 · August 2010

CourtneyR2N:
Initial reaction was that it was poke at your weight gain.

But since you said to help you dialate, I think that is probably what he and his parents meant. They want to give you support and help you to get things moving along.

This. I'm where Courtney is in her pregnancy, so I'm still thinking about weight gain, not dilation. But walking may help you dilate, and that may be what the fam is talking about. But also, call him back.

And seriously, stop freaking out about your weight gain. If you are "all baby" for your whole pregnancy then that isn't magically going to change in your last weeks of pregnancy. If you start putting on more now, it's WATER and you'll sweat or pee it out immediately after giving birth.

krm0129 · August 2010

If it makes you feel any better, I didnt gain any weight until I hit the 3rd and I have gained atleast 2-4 lbs EVERY WEEK. I would just ignore him and go about doing your normal things. I didnt change anything I was doing and kept gaining...

kerrerin · August 2010

my emotionally unstable pregnancy brain would take it as a jab at my weight until I had some quality time thinking about it...and then I would accept it as whatever makes me feel the best Big Smile

I agree with other posters that he wasn't trying to upset you, but to be as supportive as possible.

and here's hoping the walking gets things moving

MSC03 · August 2010

I think his heart was in the right place since you expressed concern to him about your weight gain, but I wouldn't be okay with my DH discussing my weight gain with his parents. That's too personal.

chewychigozie · August 2010

I think DH was just trying to help you a little. His heart was in the right place i think.

VABride2008 · August 2010

I would talk to your husband about it. If he did talk to his parents about your weight gain, I find that a bit rude. It's not really your in-laws place to know how much weight you've been gaining. Now if you discussed it with them, that's another thing. But to me, weight is a personal decision and only you should discuss it with those that you feel comfortable.

Now if they were just discussing walking to get things going, I don't see any problem with that.

Without knowing what your husband meant, it's hard to determine how you should take it.

bahamama10 · August 2010

I applaud you for walking everyday! My back hurts so bad I hate to walk to the bathroom!! I was having to walk up several flights of stairs and across campus for my summer classes, but those ended yesterday so I plan on being totally lazy till this baby comes. I gain about a pound a week so I would be concerned if I suddenly gain 4. But if your doctors aren't worried, I wouldn't worry.. Walk if you want to, but don't take it to heart.

CinemaGoddess · August 2010

MrsSummitCounty:
I think his heart was in the right place since you expressed concern to him about your weight gain, but I wouldn't be okay with my DH discussing my weight gain with his parents. That's too personal.

This. I don't think it was a slam about your weight gain, but a reaction to your concern of your weight gain.

I agree with MSC that I would be more upset that he discussed the weight gain with his parents instead of directly with you.

JeremiahsMommy · August 2010

Thanks ladies, you all made me feel so much better about everything : ) And now that I asked DH what he meant by it I feel even more amazing!! When I asked DH what he meant by it he said it was all about my dialation that he would love for me to hurry and have this baby so I'll quit hogging him LOL He is so excited that he wants me to try whatever may help me dialate more and get things going : ) He also told me it was nothing about my weight because he thinks I am doing prefectly fine and that I shouldnt let it bother me. I know that here lately I have become an emotional wreck and I am glad I have all you ladies to depend on and to help me out along with DH. : )

longingtoholdher2010 · August 2010

I think he was probably just trying to make you feel better and let you know ur not alone, that he will walk with you to help with your weight gain. My DF goes walking a mile with me every morning and it's really good bonding time for us. Don't be mad at him his intentions were probably not to upset you but to make you feel better. Don't freak about the weight either, I have been a whack job over my weight this whole time and that just makes you feel worse when you do gain a few extra pounds. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't stress.

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