Baby Related: i need your opinion! — The Bump
Military Families

Baby Related: i need your opinion!

Hello, all! My generous aunt and uncle told me that they would buy our crib or our first little girl!! They were wondering if i'd like them to buy it and bring it down to our house and set it up for me, since my DH is out at sea right now, and won't be home very much.  My uncle, also my godfather, loves doing things for me, so he certainly wouldn't mind.  But he did bring up that it is a sentimental moment for the father to build the crib, since they can't be involved in much else, and my husband does like to do those handy things! (and does them very well!)

I won't have contact with my DH for a while (too long to wait), and all I know is that he will be taking a week of leave to just relax when he comes home, which will be before the baby's born. 

What do you think? Convenient and time-saver for my husband or sentimental moment he might wanna do? I know every husband's different, but what did your husband think and feel when this time came?

Re: Baby Related: i need your opinion!

  • I would just like to say we don't have kids nor am I expecting them any time soon.

    I asked my husband and he would rather have the crib built and the nursery put together somewhat as a "surprise" when he got home. He wouldn't want to be stressing about the crib and other stuff when he was on a week of leave. But, that's just my husband.

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  • Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I don't see what is so sentimental about putting together the crib.  Most fathers that I know think that it was a huge PITA because it can be time consuming and confusing.  With all honesty, DH would have LOVED to have someone build the crib for him, lol. 

    Your DH isn't going to want to come home and put together a crib, IMO.  He's going to want to rest and spend his week with you doing fun things.

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  • I know putting the crib together is something my husband would not care at all about.  With my first my dad put the crib together.  My daughter was born early so he put it together while I was at the hospital.  With my third my husband was in Iraq from 13 weeks until well after she was born.  I put it together myself with a little help from my then 7 year old lol.  She held the side still while I screwed it together.  My best friend was going to help me the following day but since it was in my house I wanted it together and refused to wait.

    I agree with the others, I am sure he will want that time to relax.   

  • ames71ames71 member
    I had a very similar situation. My sister bought our crib for us and my husband INSISTED that I not touch it until he was home on his 3 day pass before deploying. He said it was the first real Daddy thing to do. So I saved it for him and he was so happy putting that thing together and so proud. 
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  • My dad and brothers put our cribs up because DH was in Iraq and I was on bedrest.  DH was not at all upset by it, and was actually happy that he didn't have to do it, especially when he got the fun of taking them apart when we moved later on.  He actually hated moving them so much that I got the fun of putting them back together at the new house, and then again at this one.  It's a PITA really.
  • My husband will be deploying only weeks after our first is born. I'm moving back home with my parents so there was no point to set up a nursery here when he'll use it for 3 weeks tops. Maybe it's just being in our situation but my husband has wanted to do everything he could to set up for LO. Maybe so he could be involved in as much as possible before he leaves for a year. I know that every person is different but I would say wait and let him help with it.
  • Ok - my DH is the minority.  He LOVES handy work and has already stated that he will be putting the crib together when he returns.  I think it would be easier on him but he specifically said, do whatever you want to any of the rooms but don't touch the nursery.  LOL, so I guess he will be the only one doing it.
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  • imageames17:
    I had a very similar situation. My sister bought our crib for us and my husband INSISTED that I not touch it until he was home on his 3 day pass before deploying. He said it was the first real Daddy thing to do. So I saved it for him and he was so happy putting that thing together and so proud. 

     

    This! DH was very clear that I could paint and put up the boarder and whatever but he HAD TO build the crib. He wouldn't even let me in the room to help. He took my grandfather in with him and they built it together. It was actually really sweet and almost made me cry. He did this when he came home on a 3 day leave for our wedding (we did things backwards I know) But anyway, He had also said from the very start of my pregnancy that he wanted to build something for the baby, changing table, crib, whatever. Then a family friend gave us her nursery furniture. He said since he can't build it from scratch he wanted to at least put the crib together. 

  • I have waited to do much of the nesting and getting LO's room together since DH has missed so much of my pregnancy. My DH is glad that I've waited to do these things, the crib included, so that he feels like he's involved in the pregnancy.
  • Thanks for all your opinions and weigh-ins on the situation!! I think I'm gonna wait to have DH do it; someone pointed out, even if he can't get it done on time or something, baby's going to be in a bassinet for the first few months!! He hasn't been there for much else during the pregnancy, and I don't want him to feel left out!! It was a hard decision, but hopefully he's ok with it!
  • My wife was 24wks with our twins when I left for what was supposed to be a 4mo tour of duty in Iraq.  The cribs where definitely a huge PITA to put together, but putting the nursery together was one of the few things me and my  then 15yo stepdaughter could actually do for my wife and the twins.  Though, we had a week and a half, and I wasnt expecting to get back until a month or two after the twins were born (made it back dec. 20, they were born dec 27 at 33wks).

    If its a super complicated crib (are there any that arent?) then id suggest just putting it together, if anything, just surprise him with it, and let him add any finishing touches he thinks there should be

  • My husband was deployed and returned home one week before our LO was born. He loved the surprise of seeing the nursery all set up. I had a friends hubby put the crib together and he didnt mind since he couldnt be there.
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