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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Daisy582
member
Our sitter wants a raise....wwyd?
Daisy582
member
I am going to try and keep this short so I will start w/ "the facts":
* A family friend watches Cam along w/ her son who is one month older
* We pay $150 a week (slightly more than local daycare) but only have to pay on the days we use her (we provide all food, diapers etc.)
* She is openly angling for a raise and comments on it frequently...it makes me uncomfortable.
The problem: Teachers have been furloughed and are not receiving a step increase...I am going back for less salary this year.
I know that daycare generally gets more expensive as your kid gets older but they also provide food and programs. I love our current arrangement but it would be difficult to pull an extra $25 a week / $100 a month out of mid-air right now...especially w/ a pay cut looming.
What should I do/ say? I need to confront this issue head on so that we are both on the same page.
* A family friend watches Cam along w/ her son who is one month older
* We pay $150 a week (slightly more than local daycare) but only have to pay on the days we use her (we provide all food, diapers etc.)
* She is openly angling for a raise and comments on it frequently...it makes me uncomfortable.
The problem: Teachers have been furloughed and are not receiving a step increase...I am going back for less salary this year.
I know that daycare generally gets more expensive as your kid gets older but they also provide food and programs. I love our current arrangement but it would be difficult to pull an extra $25 a week / $100 a month out of mid-air right now...especially w/ a pay cut looming.
What should I do/ say? I need to confront this issue head on so that we are both on the same page.
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Re: Our sitter wants a raise....wwyd?
I would just be honest with her - tell her that you understand she is looking for a raise but unfortunately with your job situation it is just not feasible. If she can't continue then perhaps you should look at other local daycares that are cheaper.
Keep in mind that normally daycare goes down as kids get older because they require less "work" (i.e. they can feed themselves, are potty trained, etc). At least that is how it is at our local daycares - I pay more for DS#2 than I do for DS#1.
around here, in home sitters are less than center daycares. most about 20-40/week and our center daycare gets cheaper as the child gets older.
have you looked at what other in-home daycares are charging in your area? that is where i would start. maybe she wants more since you don't have to pay on days LO isn't there, but if you are using daycare almost everyday, that really shouldn't figure into the equation.
also, at our daycare, except for the infant room, all food is provided (breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack). this was the same with the in-home daycares we looked at as well. we provide diapers and wipes.
good luck.
We can declare all of our expenses with her. I pay her in check weekly for this very reason so that there is a paper trail of money spent. If she chooses not the declare it then that is going to be her problem once the IRS finds out. Since I teach and work 190 days out of the year, the in-home care is a great option for us. I don't have to pay over breaks, holidays etc. However, I am already looking forward to the day that Cam gets to come to school with me vs. paying for day care.
I like her, think that she is great w/ Cam and want to continue our arrangement. My only beef is her insistence on constantly mentioning needing a raise....I have a feeling that this is partially due to her own financial issues (that is a whole other post) but I don't want money to come b/w our arrangement. I just need to have a heart to heart w/ her and explain that, while I value her as a friend and care provider, I feel that our arrangment is very fair based on HER orriginal stipulations for salary and, even if I wanted to, a increase in rate is just not in the cards right now.
This is tough. I have DD in an in-home 3 days a wk and daycare 2 days. DC raised rates $2 per day this yr. I thought daycare got cheaper as they get older because they aren't as "needy"~ ours gets cheaper.
If it were me, I would tell her that I really can't afford any more $$ because of your job situation but, I would ask her what she thinks would be fair. Then I would research other daycare providers and compare and get back to her based on that. Good luck- that makes me nervous even thinking about having to have that conversation- I am not good with that!
Is she declaring the money earned - that is can you declare the money spent on daycare on your taxes? If not, you'd be better off with a center because you'd owe less in taxes every year.
pierogigirl- that is an excellent point!
Really? Daycare gets LESS expensive as they get older, at least around here. I think $150 is enough since she is bringing her son and it's already more than the daycare charges.
It's no use comparing a daycare to a nanny. Daycares can take less than a nanny because they dont just have one child, and nannys should make more because they provide more one-on-one attention and more flexibility.
And friend or not, if you're working 40 hours a week, you're only paying her $3.75/hour. That's not even close to minimum wage. It's unfortunate that your job isnt doing pay increases, but that's not really her problem. She's providing you with a very valuable service that you seem to be happy with. The least you can do is pay her fairly, even if that means you have to cut back on other things in your personal budget to make it worthwhile for her.
this and just lay it out for her. let her know where you are at.
I didnt' see this post before I responded, sorry for saying the same thing basically! But I agree with this, obviously.
REALLY? I'm the only person who thinks $3.75/hour is insultingly low? How many of you would work for that wage, even for a friend?
Nannies in my area make around $17/hour plus benefits. Most nannies make a minimum of $10/hour even if she is bringing her own child.
OP: If all you can afford is around $150/week, then consider finding a center or home daycare. Your friend is doing you a favor, but clearly it's not as beneficial for her as she thought it would be and she needs more money (a fair request!) to make it worth it for her time and effort. If you can't do it, then be honest with her. Do it soon so you dont lose a friend over this.
ETA: LOL, I didnt see ALittleBirdy's responses before I posted either
That's a tough one. Daycare generally gets less expensive each year, but that's because the child to care provider ratio goes up. So with infants they might have 4 babies for 1 adult, but for 3 year olds they might have 8 children for each adult. The cetner actually makes more money on the 3 year olds, than the infants, even though they provide more toys, food, etc. The actual rate per age also generally goes up each year though, so if the 3 year olds cost $200 per week last year, they might be $210 per week this year.
For what sounds effectively like a nanny share situation, I would expect generally a slight increase each year since she's not taking on more children just because the kids get older. Honestly, it sounds like you have a great deal right now - paying just slightly higher than a center rate for a much lower child to caregiver ratio and not needing to pay for time you don't use, which you would have to pay in most centers. I'd consider providing a slight raise or at least communicating a timeframe where you'd consider it.
I don't think your pay should really come into consideration when evaluating her salary. After all, (with limited exceptions) you can't really tell your mortgage/rental co or the grocery store, sorry, I can't pay 5% more this year or the extra taxes since I am effectively making 5% less. That doesn't mean you can or should pay extra, but you may need to find alternative child care if you can't.
If I am understanding correctly, she watches your DS in her own home.. in which case no, she should not be getting a raise. Like others have said, daycare centers go DOWN in price as the kids get older.
Nannies are a little different, IMO, and possibly deserve a raise.. but in this market NO ONE should expect, no less ask for one.
I think it's pretty ballsy of her to insist on a raise.. at this point I think it's up to you whether or not you are willing to possibly lose her. You could always say "Based on our situation, I do not feel comfortable raising the rate that I pay you. I hope you understand." and then put the ball in her court whether or not she can deal with that.
This. I was shocked by the earlier responses. This is seriously low. We pay double this for our nanny and she is a family friend too. And it is still not very much per hour. She is doing it until our dcp has a spot (3 weeks to go) and I am so sad that we couldn't keep a nanny for our son. It is worth paying more for one-on-one care in most situations. But around here most nannies are $500+ per week and we can't afford it and our family member can't keep doing it.
If you can't afford her and she wants a raise, look into other options.
Really??? You think it's okay to pay someone $3.75/hr to watch the most important thing in your life? I sure as hell wouldn't feel good leaving my baby with someone who was happy to take $3.75/hr to watch him.
Unless there was some sort of agreement in the beginning, there is nothing keeping her from taking in another child. Plus, she has her own child also. Both these things should be considered.
I would probably seek a compromise. Maybe not $25/week but $10? You have a pretty sweet arrangement and you might be better off protecting it. Why is she angling for a raise? Is it because it's harder than she thought it would be to watch her child and yours? Is there a chance she will walk if she doesn't get it?
Day care actually gets cheaper the older they get, at least here. I pay $165/week for infant care. When he moves to the 1-year-old room it drops to $135/wk and so on. I provide all the food, diapers and wipes, but when he's older, they'll provide breakfast and lunch, I think. I'm not sure what "programs" you're talking about. Mine does have a curriculum they'll start at 2-years-old but now it's pretty typical stuff ... lots of playing, songs, naptime, etc.
I have also been furloughed and haven't had a raise in two years. It sucks and a day care center doesn't care about that. But because you're dealing with an individual, you might be able to appeal to her to keep the cost affordable.
You also have an advantage w/ your arrangement to only paying her when you use her. I don't know if that means you always pay $150/week or if it's more or less sometimes. W/ my day care, you pay for 5 days a week, regardless of if you are off or sick or on vacation. I also pay a full week when there are holidays that day care is closed. And I have to make sure I am there to pick him up by 5:30, which is hard some days. Not sure if that's the case for you, but it's something worth considering if you are wondering if it's worth the cost.
Otherwise, if you truly can't afford her, could you do a traditional day care?
A home dcp runs a DAYCARE out of her house and has multiple children in which her weekly rate is compounded by multiple families paying tuition. The OP's friend doesnt run a daycare; she only watches the OP's child plus her own- which she obviously doesnt get paid for. This is most definitely a nanny situation, in which the nanny also brings/has her own child as well. Nannies dont have to go to the parent's home to be considered a nanny, either.
I'm with you, I was just late in responding. :-) I expect to pay more for a nanny than a day care center because of the flexibility you get in return that you don't get in a center. Though I love my center!
Oh hell no! I'm a nanny myself and would not work for that little! I'm just talking about the pre-determined agreement. (After I wrote the post, I thought to myself, no that can't be a nanny situation bc who would do that for $150 a week?)
Oh hell no! I'm a nanny myself and would not work for that little! I'm just talking about the pre-determined agreement. (After I wrote the post, I thought to myself, no that can't be a nanny situation bc who would do that for $150 a week?)
I wanted to add.. if the child goes to the sitter's home - regardless of how many kids are being watched - it is still a daycare situation, not a nanny situation. (The parents still have to commute to and from the daycare, and the caregiver has zero commute, there is no option for the sitter to do other household baby-related chores, such as laundry, refilling diapers/wipes, etc). $150 a week for an in-home daycare is on the low-end for MY area, but not un-heard of.
All you have to do is 1099 her. I have a nanny that i plan to 1099 her and then I have record of the funds i paid her and get a break on my taxes, and then she has to claim it on hers. if she does not then it is bad for her - not me. You can buy 1099 forms at any office supply store.
My nanny wanted a raise too and I told her since i did not receive the amount of raises i was up for, then she would not get one either. Unfortunately you can only do so much. We are paying ours right around the same amt as the day care center - but she is in our home, so it really makes it worth it.
I disagree with the PP. Someone watching their kid + your kid is a nanny share situation, not in home daycare. A nanny share can be done whereever - your home, their home etc. It's only in-home if the woman is taking in additional children and you are ok with that - otherwise, you are paying for a nanny. Now, should you pay "full rate" for a nanny? No, of course not - they are also watching their kid. Here it's generally $15-18 for a nanny just for your kid or $17-20 per hour for a nanny share. If they bring their kid, it's more like $8-10 per hour, so you still effectively split the "cost" of a nanny, it's just that no one actually pays the other 1/2. Having the care at her house could be a positive or negative for the OP - less wear and tear on her house, could be really close to work, so easy to run errands straight from work or could add to her commute, make it harder to get out of the house, etc.
I would expect a rate to be on the low end of nanny share situations if you're traveling to someone's house and they are watching their own kid. You can't compare it to daycare (in-home or a center) since you are effectively getting far more attention for your child (at 2:1) than you would otherwise at 4:1 or higher. $3.75 per hour for your sitter = $3.75 per hour (or $7.50 per hour if you consider that she'd "pay" $3.75 per hour). $3.75 per hour for a center is at least $15 per hour (at 4:1) and $22.50 per hour at 6:1. That's a huge difference.
You provide diapers, food, etc. and she gets to have her child with her so she gets to be a SAHM while making some extra cash. I think $150 a week is not bad for some side cash. If you can find a daycare that costs the same or less, then let her know that you can't afford to pay her extra and you'll get care somewhere else.
Hi! Sorry, I ran out for a bit. We are also in West Ashley (small world)! We considered several options (local centers vs. private) and found this to be the best route since I have holidays and breaks off. I hope I did not offend anyone...I think my sitter totally deserves more for giving my little guy great care and attention. I just didn't know if "pay raises" were common w/ private childcare situations. Thanks for all the advice!
You are getting an awesome deal. I worked as a nanny for years before I had my son (12+ years of experience as well as a degree in Early Childhood Education). I earned $15-$20 per hour depending on the number and age of children and never had more than 3 kids at once.
Even if I brought my son to work with me, I'd never work for less than $10 an hour. That is ridiculously low. I agree with the other posters- if you aren't happy with your care provider (semantics over whether she's a nanny or home DCP but I vote nanny-share) then I suggest finding a centre because no one I know would even consider taking a child for that small an amount of money. I mean, she could be devoting that time to her home and her child and instead she's getting chump change and helping you. I don't blame her for wanting more.
Oh, and to the poster who said that she can't be a nanny because she doesn't do chores at your home- that is ridiculous. A nanny doesn't have to be a housekeeper.