So my baby girl, Madison, is due in 5 weeks. I am planning on giving her my last name because I know that I have given up so much to already give her the best possible life, and I don't know if her father will decide to grow up and be a father to her. He is incredibly angry that I don't think she needs his last name. How did you all decide on whose last name to give your child when you weren't married to the father??
I just need a few single mommies opinions!
Re: Last name???
I can't give too much of a personal experience opinion since DS has not only STBXH last name but the same entire name, but I feel that if you are feeling that her father isn't going to play much of a role in her life and you feel it would be best for her to have your name then use your name. You can always choose later on to change her last name should he actually step up and be a good father. However, if you give her his last name and he is in no way involved you would then have to have his permission to change her name I believe and I doubt you will get it.
Yours.
He has no say. He can be mad if he wants...oh well.
I made the decision to give my oldest DD my last name and I never once had second thoughts about it.
My DS has his father's name, we got married soon after (or else he would have had my name). My LO I am currently carrying has a different father than my DS but will have our last name.
I have a 12 year old daughter has my last name, so it was simple we would all share the same last name.
My son's father felt I was taking away his chance to bond because of the last name.
I think if you're not married with the same last name, there is no good reason to give your baby their father's last name...unless you just like it better or something
You carry the baby, you're the primary caregiver, so if you want the baby to have your last name then that's what the baby has.
I'm of the opinion that the mother gets final say in the baby's name anyways...but I admit to a natural bias. I generally take the mother's side in most parenting disagreements.
I'm not married to DS's daddy, but he is a HUGE part of our lives (sees him every single day/night). I was adament about DS having both our names, but not hyphenated. So, his name is Brady James mylastname hislastname. I feel bad putting him through that once he gets in school with having two last names, but I figure...times are changing, more kids will have this, I'm sure. He's a part of both of us so we felt this was a good thing to do.
BUT...if he wasn't an involved parent, no way. DS would have had my name only then.
Thanks for your input ladies.
I agree completely, I am doing just about ALL the work, but I wasn't sure if anyone could understand a man's opinion of having his last name even without much involvement. Your opinions really help solidify my decision. I just wasn't sure if it was selfish to feel like my baby should have MY name!
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This. X and I were together when DS was born and I never thought for him to have my last name. The way I see it, why should he have my last name anymore than X's?