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Do your parents...

Erika&BrianErika&Brian
in Houston Babies

Think you are too easy on your kids? My mom thinks I am too easy on Grant. We do use timeouts, but only for more major things (not being careful around Brady, pulling cat tail, trying to climb on flatscreen tv, etc.). We do not use it for things like him screeching at the top of his lungs, or maybe not listening right away to us, making a mess, etc.

Makes me question if we are too lax, or she has forgotten what it is like to have a 2 year old. I feel like we would be disciplining him non stop if we acted on everything he did that wasn't just perfect.

 

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Re: Do your parents...

  • KelleyAKelleyA
    MIL thinks I'm too tough on DD and my parents think I'm too easy...which in my opinion means I'm doing it just right!  My parents were/are strict and his mom was way too lax so we're working to strike a balance somewhere in between.
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  • rayskit10rayskit10 member
    My mom thinks I am too tough and not patient enough. My inlaws probably think I am too easy, although they would not really say anything. I live with my kids every day. The grandparents do not. I make my decisions based on what I think works best for my kids' temperments and my family. They can say "I told you so" when the kids are grown but for now, I make the decisions. That's the beauty of being the parent. 
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  • KKMMexKKMMex
    I think grandparents mean well but they definitely don't remember what it's like to live with small children 24/7, unless they happen to be raising a grandchild. My mom has made comments about my discipline style and implied it wasn't effective. I SAH with a 2yo and a 4yo. I didn't appreciate her words because I think she's forgotten how frustrating discipline issues can be, and it's not as if she's in the same boat and can really relate. I'm sorry your mom isn't being helpful....unsolicited parenting advice is so annoying.

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  • LisaK2bLisaK2b member
    At times my mom thinks I'm very strict which she thinks is a good thing, but then sometimes she thinks I take it too far.  An example is that Emmy went through a phase of throwing up when she cried.  So when I told her she needed to go into time out, she'll do the gagging noise trying to throw up.  Then my mom tells me to not put her in time out because she's going to throw up.  But trust me, I did that when I was a kid too and so I know what she's trying to do. I put her in time out anyways and if she throws up, I make her stand there in it until she calms down.  In the end, my mom sees it's the right thing because Emmy is a pretty good kid.  She's amazed how my counting techinique really works.  If she's not listening to what I'm asking her, I just say "1!", and then she immediately turns her head to me and listens. 
    Lisa. mommy to Emmy and Ally image
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  • jen5-03jen5-03 member

    She doesn't think I'm too easy with discipline, but she thinks that I cater to her too much. She thought I carried her too much, should have let her cry more, etc. Never mind that she'll tell you she carried me everywhere until I was 4 and never even owned a stroller.

    And now she suggests that I get a wooden spoon to whack DS "because boys are different".  Indifferent

    Anyone else glad I don't have a brother?

    - Jena
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  • charlotteLcharlotteL
    My dad and MIL think we are too strict with the boys, but they are push overs. 
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  • MrsMGRMrsMGR

    My parents think I am WAY to strict on Joe and have voiced that opinion to me on occasion. But, by strict, they mean that Joe shouldn't have a set bedtime or routine and that screaming or throwing the ball in house should be okay. And *gasp* I put him in time out when he hits someone or screams at me. LOL...

     

    My in laws, on the other hand, think I am way to relaxed about disciplining Joe. They believe in spanking. I am very very anti-spanking.

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  • AggieDeeAggieDee
    My parents think we are too strict.  ILs think we are just right, maybe a little too strict.  That being said, we are constantly being complimented by everyone (inlcuding our parents) about how wonderful our children behave. 
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  • TexasPaigeTexasPaige

    My in-laws and parents try hard not to meddle, so I don't actually know what they think about how we discipline. Makes me wonder! 

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  • kat.in.the.hatkat.in.the.hat

    I'm so happy both sets of my parents think we're doing a great job with her.  I guess they see the proof of the pudding is in the crust (or at least, I hope that's the case.)

    My mom doesn't like it when I get on to her when we are on the phone together and she can hear it, but that's just because she's the g'ma and her granddaughter can do no wrong, LOL.  She doesn't really think I'm being too strict or whatever with her.

    I have no clue what my IL's think.  They haven't seen Marion in 8 months and won't see her for probably another year so they can kiss my big pg a$s for whatever they think.

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    j+k+m+e | running with needles
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  • chrisbride04chrisbride04
    My mom thinks we're too easy on Connor. He started his "terrible twos" at 18 months and we have just chosen to pick our battles. He's very strong willed, so we often let him choose on minor things like what clothes to wear, what snack to eat, etc. If the outcome doesn't really matter to us, and it avoids a tantrum since C thinks he's in control then I don't see the problem. My mom thinks we are setting him up to be a discipline problem in school since he'll want choices about things.
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  • longhorngallonghorngal member

    i don't think 2 is an appropriate age for time out for my son

    i think at this age removing him from the situation is more appropriate...i was never put in time out and i don't think its for all kids

    i think that time outs are more appropriate when they can actually think about what they have done, etc

    https://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/PositiveTimeOut.html

    https://www.babycenter.com/0_time-outs-how-to-make-them-work-age-2_63909.bc   

     

    that being said my mom thinks i am too strict when i use my stern voice ...but she agrees with me with the time outs...whereas, my sis prob thinks i should use more time out....my father prob thinks i am too lenient... 


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  • thumpofmyheartthumpofmyheart
    My IL's think that we're (or really I) am to lax. They don't tell me anything but I know they tell DH that DD is walking all over us. They believe in spanking and my FIL used bullying tactics to get his two sons to behave. I'm not a believer in either strategy. They think I should just let her CIO so she'll sleep in the crib. My DH would like to try it but I'm a big NO WAY!! I understand a lot of it has to do with different generation stuff and just different philosophies. My mother on the other hand has zero discipline so I look like a drill sergeant compared to her :)....
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  • lilycatlilycat

    There is a laundry list about what we do wrong from one parent in particular (this person will sound like a jerk, so we'll just leave out names):

    -- not making babies sleep anywhere we go (respecting their sleep schedules) is just wrong and indulgent 

    -- not spanking

    -- some sort of general failing that is because we are too lenient

    -- making our kids the center of our lives

     

    Yup. Everything that I do differently is basically twisted into some sort of evil. I'm good with that. 

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  • Erika&BrianErika&Brian

     

    Yup. Everything that I do differently is basically twisted into some sort of evil. I'm good with that. 

    This totally made me laugh out loud! Thank you :-).
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