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Jealous of a friend. :(

SeaSoulSeaSoul member
in Success after IF

I have a friend from college with whom I am no longer in touch, but she and another good friend of mine are still in close contact.  Last time I saw her was at my wedding 4 years ago.  She's 7 months older than I am (so, newly 42), and has a 2-year-old son.  I know through our mutual friend that they had a lot of trouble conceiving him - I think they did 2 IVFs and the 1st ended in m/c.  I'm sure they did IUI before IVF.

In any case, I just found out that she is 7 months pg w/ #2 and it was a surprise!  Really, I am thrilled (and shocked!) for them.  And maybe it's b/c I've had a few glasses of wine, b/c I don't normally react this way, but I'm feeling a little sorry for myself.  I wish that that were even a remote possibility for us, but it isn't!  When your husband has NO sperm, the chances of a surprise bfp are ZERO. 

And I'm a little sad, also, b/c I just had a m/c.  I haven't felt upset about my m/c until now.  I shouldn't say upset...I just long for what they have. 

I am just not one to normally feel this way. 

Anyway...it is what it is.  Very happy for them.

Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!

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Re: Jealous of a friend. :(

  • ela81ela81

    I'm sorry. I hate that feeling:( I also do not normally get that way but sometimes things hit you the wrong way. I know how you feel about the surprise pregnancy, on a good day dh's sperm count is in the double digits (like teens). I hope it's mostly the wine making you a little more emotional about everything. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it's a great one! (((hugs)))

    For DD - IVF/ICSI #1 - BFP / For DS - dIUI #1 - BFP Dx:severe MFI-Y Chromosome Microdeletion Isabel born 10-15-08! / Baby Boy EDD July 2013 imageLily pie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • SeaSoulSeaSoul member
    imageela81:

    I'm sorry. I hate that feeling:( I also do not normally get that way but sometimes things hit you the wrong way. I know how you feel about the surprise pregnancy, on a good day dh's sperm count is in the double digits (like teens). I hope it's mostly the wine making you a little more emotional about everything. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it's a great one! (((hugs)))

    Thank you!!

    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

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  • kme930kme930 member
    (((hugs))) I'm so sorry. You're allowed to be sad, especially given what you've gone through in the last few weeks. Please don't beat yourself up. Take care of yourself, sweetie.
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  • LVBlvdLVBlvd
    Sorry, hon. Nothing really to say except that is totally normal and justified.
    DX: PCOS * Success with IVF

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  • InACitySoNiceInACitySoNice member
    I'm so sorry, Sea.  I know how you feel.  Happy for her, but ... Jeez.  It just hurts so much sometimes.  I hope you don't have to wait much longer before your little #2 is in your arms (or even just on the ultrasound!). 
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  • desabeandesabean member

    I can relate.  I think I really took *most* of our IF in stride.  I had some bitter moment but for the most part I was able to be sincerely happy for other people with babies and I could go to baby showers, etc.

    I just assumed my issues would be the same as they were pre-Garrison is since I was unexplained, hoped I had a *chance* of a surprise bfp but now it sounds like there is really no chance of that and even if I got pg there is a good chance of miscarriage (I have really bad scarring-- still not 100% sure I can't do IVF, will know tomorrow) So, it is hard all over again.

    Anyway, I'm sorry you are having a rough night.  You've been through a lot and honestly it might do you a little good to mourn your loss.  Even if it feels crummy, it was real and the hurt is real.  Hope you can try again soon and get your sticky bfp!

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  • somethingchangdsomethingchangd member
    Oh no.  I hadn't heard that you m/c'd.  I am so so so sorry.  It is, of course, completely normal for you to feel how you do about your friends, especially considering what you've just gone through.  I'm so sorry.
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    Amber
    TTC since March '06
    MFI, LPD, possible PCOS
    3 chem pgs * m/c identical twins at 9w 10.06
    IVF w/ICSI #2 - beta - 187! (9dp5dt), beta - 367! (11dp5dt)
    IVF w/ICSI #3 - it's a girl!
    My IF Blog: Between the Lines
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  • gabbeyhgabbeyh
    *HUGS*
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  • Goldengirl16Goldengirl16 member
    I'm sorry SeaSoul... I just read about your miscarriage and know exactly how you feel.  We'll never have a surprise BFP either and I'm still jealous everyday of people who miraculously get pregnant.  Big hugs to you and know that you're not alone!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker IUI #1~BFP!!! Beta #1~13dpo 100 Beta #2~15dpo 216 BabyFruit Ticker
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