How to Politely Say .... "DON'T TOUCH!" — The Bump
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How to Politely Say .... "DON'T TOUCH!"

We have plans to go to a wedding when DS will be about a week and half old.

 How do I politely tell others "please look, don't touch?" And where to draw the line when it comes to extended family feeling like they're allowed to hold him?

I know we're putting ourselves in this situation, so any advice on how best to handle it is greatly appreciated. TIA! 

Re: How to Politely Say .... "DON'T TOUCH!"

  • I babywear all the time so people never try to touch her.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • Have you had this baby yet?  If not, then I must say that you will probably not feel up to going to a wedding so soon, especially with a baby.

    If you must go, then I'd leave your baby in the infant seat and cover it with a blanket and if anyone asks, just tell them he is sleeping. 

     

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  • image Elisa312:

    Have you had this baby yet?  If not, then I must say that you will probably not feel up to going to a wedding so soon, especially with a baby.

     

    She's right.  There is no way I would have gone ANYWHERE that soon. 

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • image MWoodside:
    image Elisa312:

    Have you had this baby yet?  If not, then I must say that you will probably not feel up to going to a wedding so soon, especially with a baby.

     

    She's right.  There is no way I would have gone ANYWHERE that soon. 

     

    This.

  • I was very worried about this, but for some reason most people knew to "not touch." Then some crazy lady in a hospital started to touch and I said flat out " Please don't touch him b/c you're hands are dirty." I was so surprised that this stranger walked up and touched him that I wasn't worried about being polite!
  • image noliablue:
    image MWoodside:
    image Elisa312:

    Have you had this baby yet?  If not, then I must say that you will probably not feel up to going to a wedding so soon, especially with a baby.

     

    She's right.  There is no way I would have gone ANYWHERE that soon. 

     

    This.

    I agree.  I was supposed to go to a wedding 12 days after DS was born and I had to miss it.  I thought I would be fine to go, but I didn't realize how exhausted & sore I would be.

  • KKWISCKKWISC member
    image ash.flea:
    image noliablue:
    image MWoodside:
    image Elisa312:

    Have you had this baby yet?  If not, then I must say that you will probably not feel up to going to a wedding so soon, especially with a baby.

     

    She's right.  There is no way I would have gone ANYWHERE that soon. 

     

    This.

    I agree.  I was supposed to go to a wedding 12 days after DS was born and I had to miss it.  I thought I would be fine to go, but I didn't realize how exhausted & sore I would be.

    I could hardly get a clean pair of jammies on at a week and a half much say going to a wedding. At this point I would play the wedding as tentative until the day of. If you feel up to it go for a little bit, if its a bad night and you want to sleep than don't go. The bride and groom will understand. 

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  • We took ds to a wedding when he was two days old. I just told immediate family before hand that we were not going to let anyone else hold so that pass the baby didn't occur. Everyone was very understanding and I was only had to tell two people that we weren't letting others hold him.
    image
    Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
  • I agree with all of the pps. Play it by ear.

    If you go, put a blanket over his carrier. You can use the excuse that "The doctor said that without his vaccinations, blah blah blah..."

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  • Sorry really bad grammar.... I am responding on my phone.
    image
    Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
  • My pedi would have said no way...there are outbreaks of pertussis and other diseases that he is not immune to...
  • Ditto wearing your baby.  Put baby in a sling or wrap.

    image image
  • I was always afraid to say anything... but now my 8 weeks old has pertussis and I have NO PROBLEM saying please don't touch my baby. Sometimes you just have to say no.... Blame it on your dr though, tell them the pedi recommends not to pass baby around there are some germs flying around and since DC isn't vaccinated yet, you have to be very careful.

    DD was 2 weeks old for DH's family reunion. We took her but let MIL spread the word about her being too little to pass around and that we were "uneasy" about letting others hold her just yet. Worked for us

    TTC #3 with PCOS. Long cycles, ovulate about 4-5 times a year Married 6/9/07 DS 7/15/08 Met RE 12/08 DD 6/2/10
  • I totally agree with PP. I would blame it on pedi. I went to my IL's for a get together and although DD was older, I plopped the hand sanitizer on the table and said, "per pedi's orders, everyone must use this every time." It really did cut down on people holding her. 
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  • I still don't know how to say it. We made people wash their hands in the hospital. They laughed at us. My grandma said "This will be the last time I was my hands before I touch the baby."

     So...I have no advice other than "Good Luck!"

    Oh, and I was going to family functions at two weeks.

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  • i wondered how i would handle it too. i thought i would want to find a nice way, as to not offend people. fortunately, the vast majority of people who have met the baby know not to touch her, and even those who do usually just touch her blanket or foot or something. but there was this one old woman who went in to touch her face and i just flat out said "can you please not touch my baby." she looked all offended, but i honestly didn't care. i was more offended that she had the nerve to try to touch my child.

  • In my experience, most people are smart enough to just look or ask first. I would be surprised if that many people would just touch your baby without asking. I just haven't found that to be the case. If DD is in her infant seat, people just tend to look at her.

    Also, I would have been perfectly fine to go to a wedding. I felt great at 10 days out, and had even been on walks/hikes, malls, restaurants, playdates, etc. at that point. Everyone is different, though, so you might be not feeling that well. 

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  • image MWoodside:
    image Elisa312:

    Have you had this baby yet?  If not, then I must say that you will probably not feel up to going to a wedding so soon, especially with a baby.

     

    She's right.  There is no way I would have gone ANYWHERE that soon. 

     I wouldn't say the wedding is totally out of the question. You may deliver early and be a couple weeks pp when the wedding comes around. Alternatively, you may deliver a couple days before the wedding!

     Everyone recovers from childbirth differently. I doubt you'd feel up to a wedding that soon after a c-section, but I was up and around and running light errands a few days after having both of my sons.  And that was even after having severe pre-e!  I don't think I'd want to go to an entire wedding and reception, but if it were someone important to me, I'd go to the ceremony or make a short appearance at the reception.

    Hawaii
  • I disagree with PPs that are saying you won't be up to going. By a week after I was fine. The day after we got home from the hospital, I did our grocery shopping for the next two weeks. Apparently, I had it pretty easy.

    But anways, why is it that you don't want people to touch the baby? Germs? You could just carry a bottle of hand sanitizer and tell people they need to clean their hands before they can touch him.

    At a week and half old, DD slept most of the time still, so he may just sleep in his car seat through most if not the whole thing.

    And also, are you going to the ceremony, reception, dance? You should consider the environment before deciding to take DS (I'm sorry to butt in, I know this wasn't your question) I'm only mentioning because we took DD to a birthday party (kids) when she was a few weeks old and with the noise and the excitement and all of the people, she got overwhelmed really fast and was pretty hard to calm down until I got her into a quiet room.

    Just with a newborn, be prepared to leave if necessary.

  • You probably don't have enough time at this point but check out mytinyhands.com  They have cute little signs you hand on the car seat, stroller, whatever.  I ordered 3 a couple of weeks ago. 

     "Please Wash Your Hands Before Touching Mine"

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