Toddlers: 24 Months+
FutureMrsWagner
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Your 2 Year Old and Your Newborn?
FutureMrsWagner
member
How did your toddler react to your new baby? DS seems really interested in babies right now and we talk about DD-to-be alot. He knows her name and says things like, "Lanie can sleep in my crib", "Lanie can play with my toys", "Caleb will give this baby doll to Lanie", etc. He seems like he is going to be the sweetest big brother, but I also know that it is likely that he will be very jealous too. I foresee him having a really hard time with me holding the baby all the time and nursing and stuff. Just curious what your experiences have been and if you have advice to make the transition go smoothly.
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Re: Your 2 Year Old and Your Newborn?
It has gone really, really well overall.
Besides the obvious of making sure he still gets snuggle/one-on-one time, I would try to keep his routines as normal as possible.
A couple of things that helped us were not making all baby-stuff off-limits. So DD1 can play on the playmat, we bounce with her on the yoga ball we use to soothe DD2 -- she just has to wait her turn. I just try to keep her out of the swing and bouncy seat. :P
I also talk to DD2 about DD1. "Wow, Elsa, your big sister is being so gentle with you! You like it when she's nice, don't you?" Stuff like that. I point out when DD2 is smiling or laughing at something that DD1 is doing ("You think your big sister is so funny, don't you?"), or sit DD2 up so she can watch DD1 jump or dance around (which both of them get a kick out of). I read in some book that talking *about* your toddler's behavior so they can hear can make just as much of an impression as what you say to them directly; and I think it also emphasized to DD1 from the start that DD2 is another little person with a POV.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
Not sure if it is the baby or that he is 2. He is acting out more and not sleeping as well. He also went through a faze where he acted like he hated me. I could not tuck him in or give him kisses for awhile. It broke my heart.
He likes helping by bringing me things. Actually gets mad if I get a burp cloth myself. At daycare he shows off his little brother to his classmates. He has only asked me to put Nathan down 2 times so I could play. Nathan is a really easy baby and will watch us play and be happy. It does help that DH plays with DS1 non-stop once he gets home. He also knows that if he needs me that Nathan can cry for a few minutes so I can attend to him.
It's gone much better than I could have expected! Kenley is so helpful and loving with Taylor. She loves giving her kisses, she'll show her off to people when we're out, she is always giving her hugs, etc. She's only shown jealousy while we've held Taylor like once or twice and it was very minimal. She's never had an issue while I'm nursing...which was something I was very nervous about while I was pregnant.
Just involve your DS, let him be a 'helper' if he's into that (Kenley loves bringing me burp cloths and diapers if I ask her) and make sure you spend some time with just him.
Overall it's gone really well. DD is a bit of a handful with lots of energy, so I was a little worried about how she'd adjust, and at the beginning we did have a few issues. She started asking to nurse again when she saw me feed him, but we talked about how she was done that now and all the fun things she gets to eat that DS doesn't, and it didn't take long before she stopped. I also tried to make sure she had something fun to do whenever I had to feed him. When he was younger and less distractible, she and I read stories on the couch while he nursed.
Now she really loves him, and she can make him laugh and smile more than anyone else, which makes her happy. She helps me feed him cereal and change his diaper, and she loves to talk about what they'll be able to do when he gets big like her. We do get the occasional request to put him in the closet or give him away, but we just ignore those
It is going great! DD loves to kiss, hug, snuggle, sing to, cover up, etc. her little brother. Everytime I change his diaper she runs to get me the diapers and wipes and insists on throwing the dirty diaper away.
When someone comes over to visit the first thing DD does is run over to DS and say "this is Wesley James". She is such a proud big sister and I love it.
DS also loves DD to death. I know he isn't even 3 months old but I see the look in his eyes when she is around and it really melts my heart. He just stares at her in amazement.
We weren't exactly TTC when we got pregnant and we were both worried the entire pregnancy, but it was the best thing I ever did. I can't imagine our family without DS. It will be great, don't worry!
It has gone sooo well..I was quite surprised. He was loving on him the minute we brought him home but for the most part ignored him and minded his own business. It hasn't been until recently now that DS2 is rolling all over that DS1 wants to play with him all the time. Watching them two together melts my heart and often brings tears to my eyes. It's been amazing.
The only signs of jealousy that he showed is that he wanted to be held by us more often.
My biggest recommendations:
1. Get a baby carrier. I wore the Moby every day of my maternity leave and now use the Babyhawk all the time. It really helps when you have another kid to tend to and I love using it for shopping so I can put big brother in the cart.
2. Involve the big sibling as much as you can. Have him sit next to you while you nurse and read him a book. Let him help with diaper changes. Let him hold the baby all the time.
Griffin was 2y2mo when the twins were born and did a GREAT job with them - he still loves them and never shows jealousy.
We make sure to give him tons of attention- esp when the twins nap - we do special things with him then... and we have him help with the twins in the ways that he can (early on he'd burp them and did a great job with it!).
remember- an infant is "luggage" and can be put down... your 2 y/o needs you to play more than the baby needs to be held all day - so either wear baby so you can still play - or put baby down in the bouncy seat so you can play.... your toddler will be much better behaved because of it.
as the twins got older I'd put them in the bumbo seats on the floor to watch Griffin play - and now of course- they all play together... it's great.
DS absolutely LOVES the new baby. Adores her. So much so that we sometimes have to tell him to stop kissing and "hugging" her (his hugs usually include a head butt!)
It's really adorable and we are so happy that he loves her so much. He gets very upset if she cries and he loves to help with her bottle or fixing her blanket, etc. It makes my heart smile.
I make sure to include him in everything... if he wants to hold her bottle, I let him. If he wants to get her diaper or throw away her dirty diaper for me, I let him. I also make sure that we still have our special time together with just the two of us. When I was PG, DS and I would have our "cuddle time" before he went to bed. We would lay in my bed together and just talk to each other. I still have that time with him and DH will watch the baby while I do that. It's also nice b/c then DH gets some one-on-one time with the baby too!
Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14