So, sitting here all afternoon waiting to start bleeding (which of course I haven't), I was vacillating between abject grief and insane anger. Everyone always says, I would never wish miscarriage on anyone.
I don't know that I would actively wish it on anyone, per se, but I see a lot of people day in and day out that I feel do not deserve a child as much as my DH and I. Even worse, when I am on the bump, some posters just rub me the wrong way, and I think, why can't THEY be the ones going through this?
I feel like I have been through a lot of crap in the past 2 years and this loss is just the fvcking icing on the cake. It's just one thing after another. I work with this woman who just cruises through life. You know the type. Always gets the job she wants; all her family is perfectly harmonious and happy and healthy; she got pregnant on her first try and is just sailing through the whole thing and is due in October. I guess she's a nice girl. But I look at her and think, have you had any problem in your life worse than deciding what Louis Vuitton to purchase?
I know most people will not agree with me and that is fine. I just needed to put it out there. I own my bitterness.