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"i'll take you to court!!"

jayrabbittjayrabbitt member
in Single Parents

So i need some help ladies...

My son's father is completely absent, and for hte most part entirely useless. He only wants to parade my son around and show him off when it is convenient for him. We made the arrangement that if he wanted to see him on Tuesdays, that he woudl need to confirm it with me by Sunday, Yet, every sunday he has a reason as to why he did confirm and claims that i should just know to bring him by. it is me that is bringing the baby two towns over, he never makes a single attempt to come by way. He will call me on tuesday morning screaming at me that i have to bring the baby to him and that i am keeping him from his son. im all realness, he want to carry around his trophy infront of his new girlfriend. He knew my door was always open if he wanted to stop by and visit but has an excuse for EVERYTHING!! my son is almost 8 months old, and this is completely sickening- three weeks ago, he didnt contact me on sunday, adn called me screaming that tuesday while i was at a lactation meeting.  since he didnt confirm plans with me- i made other arrangements, and could only spare 30 minues at his hme- again, bc he didnt cnfirm ***.That next sunday he didnt say a single word to me, and nothing on tueday either. He contacts me thusday morning at 745 asking if he coudl stop by- i agree and tell hiim that i have an appt at 9am so that i will be leaving at 845, but if he is leaving now, and livs 10 minutes away, no issue. e doesnt show up until 845!!! and is made i wont stay around. So he claims he will be coming to my house this tueday, i text him this morning to confirm the time he is planning to come by. he refuses to tell me when he is coming by and claims that i am keeping my son from him- in all actualy, he wants me to wait around day long for him- he claims that i onl let him see him for 5 minutes the other day, and 30 minutes te time before... but realistically, it woudl have been hours of play time if he had confimed our plans-

 

now he is threatening to take me to court bc he wants visitatin, he wants t pick up my son while im at work, take him whereever he pleases, etc- but i dont trust his gf or his mother, both of whom are not trustworthy enough to be around my son- i need help-- i live im MA and i dont want him to have unsupervised visits... my son hates his father and screams whenever he is around him... this is killing me!!! any advise?!

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Re: "i'll take you to court!!"

  • MominatorMominator
    So I am assuming that you have no sort of custody agreement set up through the courts? You need to do that immediately. Be prepared though, unless you can prove to the judge that your son's father is abusive or a threat to your son's safety, you are not going to be able to force supervised visitations. Yes, it sucks if it is true that he only wants to have your son to "parade" him around, but it is what it is. He is still his father and deserves an opportunity to get to know his son. You baby is 8mths old, so I seriously doubt that he "hates" his father, he just doesn't know him. I think that you need to give him the opportunity to do that. This isn't just about you anymore and you need to give them the opportunity to bond. Of course, that all goes out the window if your ex has violent tendencies and you fear for your childs safety, but if that is not the case, you kind of have to just suck it up and let what happens happen. Plus, with visitation/custody set up through the court, it will be an all or nothing with your ex. If he shows up on time and on his scheduled days, great, but if he doesn't you will be under no obligation to provide him additional opportunities to be with his son other than what is ordered through the courts. Good luck, I am sure that this is all very difficult for you.
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  • chucknorris11chucknorris11 member

    Document EVERYTHING. Every phone call, every text, everything said....don't let him try to say that you are keeping the baby away. I suggest only communicating via email/text as with phone conversations it's easy to have a he said/she said situation.

     Also, start a court case. Have them set up visitation, child support...etc. That way, if he chooses not to see his son or wants to show up randomly or at the wrong time, he cannot do so.

     

    Good luck! I am sorry you are going through this.

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  • Emjay221Emjay221 member
    I doubt your son hates his father.  A child of that age can't know hate.  You should encourage more time together, and stop being bitter.  Then, your son won't cry.  I went through it.  My oldest would always cry but when the visits became more regular, the crying stopped. 
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