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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Do you mind if I post this on 1st Tri and related month boards?
Hello Ladies,
I know that lately we've had several women who are worried that they might be miscarrying posting on our board of late. I also know that this greatly upsets many of you. I drafted a post this morning that I was considering posting to the 1st trimester board as well as a few of the month boards. Please let me know if you think this is appropriate. Everyone's grieving process is different, and I would not want to speak for us unless I was certain that you thought it was best.
Thanks,
Beth
Subj: Worried about miscarriage?
Hello Ladies,
The first trimester of pregnancy can be a nervous
time. Because you can't feel your baby's movements, it doesn't take
much at all to get your heart and mind racing. These fears are
understandable and natural. If you are worried about any of the signs
of a miscarriage (bleeding, cramping, or passage of tissue) please
contact your doctor. If your doctor will not see you then get a new
doctor who will.
I'm here to post this because lately we've had quite a few ladies come to Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss with their fears. Please understand that this board is for ladies who know that they are miscarrying or who have lost their little ones due to stillbirth or infant death. Our board is the saddest board on the Bump. If you are looking for reassurance then our board is the last place to come. All of our stories have incredibly tragic endings.
Many women experience bleeding, cramps, and loss of pregnancy symptoms and go on to have a healthy baby. Other women have picture perfect pregnancies and are hit by a bolt out of the blue when they learn that they will not have a take-home baby this time.
Coming to our board with questions also won't help you. Going to a place where every pregnancy has ended in tears may cause you to experience much more stress than is necessary, and stress is dangerous for your baby. If you are frightened please try to stay calm and contact a doctor.
If you do experience the pain of the loss of a child at any point in your pregnancy or your baby's young life please know that we are here with support and kind words. We consider you a mother the moment that you see a positive test, and we will never minimize your loss regardless of when it might occur in your pregnancy. A loss is a loss. If you are hurting do not be afraid to come to our board.
Hopefully none of you will ever have to visit MC/PL, but I hope that
you will understand that posting on our board with tickers and fears
can be a gut punch to many of the ladies whose hurt is fresh and raw.
Reminders of pregnancy are very painful for many of the ladies on our
board. Women come to MC/PL to heal and find a safe place to air their
grieving process.
Thank you for reading this, and please have a happy and healthy nine months.
Thank you,
Beth
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do you mind if I post this on 1st Tri and related month boards?
Beth, that is beautifully written and a whole lot nicer than my usual response.
I think if you want to post it, go for it. Please know, there are always a-holes who are going be rude to you, but if you are okay with that and can take it with a "this is the internet and haters gonna hate" grain of salt, then you should do it.
Twins born too early at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix
FET #1, IUI #1, 2, 3, 4 - all BFN
IVF #3 BFP!!! IT'S A BOY! Born July 16th, 2011
FET #2 BFP! Due February 15, 2013
May 2011 Siggy Challenge
Very well put.
Thank you
BFP 5/9/10. U/S - no heartbeat 6/2/10 (7 weeks). Induced miscarriage 6/7/10.
Chemical pregnancies 12/2/10, 1/3/11, and 2/7/11.
dx: RPL due to poor quality uterine lining; begin progesterone January 2011
BFP 3/10/11. EDD 11/19/11. E arrived 11/15/11!
Loss Blog | Life Blog
Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
BFP #1 - m/c on 12.22.09 @ 8w3d
BFP #2 - d&c on 07.22.10 @11w1d
BFP #3 - DS born on 06.22.11 @41w3d!
BFP #4 - Due 04.24.13
Two thumbs up.
Why do I have the nagging feeling that this is going to require a copy/paste every few weeks or so on 1st tri?
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
Hello bethskye,
Thanks for taking the initiative and thinking of us. I believe it sounds appropriate.
m/c 6/10
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!
May 2011 Siggy Challenge
Sounds great! Thanks for being an advocate for this board.
The sad thing is that there is a disclaimer at the top telling people that this board is for women who have lost pregnancies and if you think you are having a m/c call your doctor. I know people don't read it but it's there. Thank you Beth for writing this. It was definitely needed.
4 Clomid cycles + 3 IUIs w/ injectables + 1 IVF = 1 m/c, 1 ectopic
FET May 2011 = BFP! Beta 1 (8dp5dt): 336, Beta 2 (12dp5dt): 2033, Beta 3 (14dp5dt): 4706
? So thankful for our little guys, born at 33 weeks. ?