Do you mind if I post this on 1st Tri and related month boards?

bethskye · August 2010

Hello Ladies,

I know that lately we've had several women who are worried that they might be miscarrying posting on our board of late. I also know that this greatly upsets many of you. I drafted a post this morning that I was considering posting to the 1st trimester board as well as a few of the month boards. Please let me know if you think this is appropriate. Everyone's grieving process is different, and I would not want to speak for us unless I was certain that you thought it was best.

Thanks,

Beth

Subj: Worried about miscarriage?

Hello Ladies,

The first trimester of pregnancy can be a nervous time. Because you can't feel your baby's movements, it doesn't take much at all to get your heart and mind racing. These fears are understandable and natural. If you are worried about any of the signs of a miscarriage (bleeding, cramping, or passage of tissue) please contact your doctor. If your doctor will not see you then get a new doctor who will.

I'm here to post this because lately we've had quite a few ladies come to Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss with their fears. Please understand that this board is for ladies who know that they are miscarrying or who have lost their little ones due to stillbirth or infant death. Our board is the saddest board on the Bump. If you are looking for reassurance then our board is the last place to come. All of our stories have incredibly tragic endings.

Many women experience bleeding, cramps, and loss of pregnancy symptoms and go on to have a healthy baby. Other women have picture perfect pregnancies and are hit by a bolt out of the blue when they learn that they will not have a take-home baby this time.

Coming to our board with questions also won't help you. Going to a place where every pregnancy has ended in tears may cause you to experience much more stress than is necessary, and stress is dangerous for your baby. If you are frightened please try to stay calm and contact a doctor.

If you do experience the pain of the loss of a child at any point in your pregnancy or your baby's young life please know that we are here with support and kind words. We consider you a mother the moment that you see a positive test, and we will never minimize your loss regardless of when it might occur in your pregnancy. A loss is a loss. If you are hurting do not be afraid to come to our board.

Hopefully none of you will ever have to visit MC/PL, but I hope that you will understand that posting on our board with tickers and fears can be a gut punch to many of the ladies whose hurt is fresh and raw. Reminders of pregnancy are very painful for many of the ladies on our board. Women come to MC/PL to heal and find a safe place to air their grieving process.

Thank you for reading this, and please have a happy and healthy nine months.

Thank you,

Beth

cherylanddoug · August 2010

seems appropriate to me.

Scout05 · August 2010

Beth, that is beautifully written and a whole lot nicer than my usual response.

I think if you want to post it, go for it. Please know, there are always a-holes who are going be rude to you, but if you are okay with that and can take it with a "this is the internet and haters gonna hate" grain of salt, then you should do it.

Lorange-8 · August 2010

luckymrs. · August 2010

I think that's WONDERFUL. I fully support the posting on 1st Tri.

bethskye · August 2010

The board does not like duplicate posts across forums, so I just posted in in 1st tri.

jamilynn9 · August 2010

I think it's very heartfelt and well-written. I can't imagine anyone being snarky about it. Thanks for doing this.

SPerry0376 · August 2010

I approve! It needs to be said.

KhloesMom · August 2010

Thank you for addressing what needs to be said with eloquence and grace.

mimomAB · August 2010

Very well put.

Thank you

millejj1 · August 2010

anonomity · August 2010

I think thats perfect. Great idea, and beautifully written!

jennsadye1979 · August 2010

Very nice.

dc2heartsdc5 · August 2010

leneae10 · August 2010

perfect! Very nicely written.

ikissedthecook · August 2010

Thank you. That was a great idea. I'm sure you'll get attitude from somebody on 1st Tri, but if you do, my advice is to ignore it. Most will be understanding, though, I would think.

Shayna0182 · August 2010

I like it!

hopefulmama75 · August 2010

i really think that is truely wonderful!!! and thank you for doing that ;o)

Ioulia · August 2010

Nicely put! Thanks for doint this, Bethskye. Yes

chusum · August 2010

Very well written! And you put it a lot nicer than I would have.

damabo80 · August 2010

Two thumbs up.

Why do I have the nagging feeling that this is going to require a copy/paste every few weeks or so on 1st tri?

We Will Miss You For Ever Our 1st Baby · August 2010

Hello bethskye,

Thanks for taking the initiative and thinking of us. I believe it sounds appropriate.

Lkat17 · August 2010

Ann003 · August 2010

Thank you for doing this!

cherylanddoug · August 2010

It really bugs me that you wrote this well thought out and sensitively crafted post and less than 24 hours later some idiot is doing the exact thing we are pleading for people not to do! Maybe we could have this posted at the top of the message board. ugh

jerriesgirl · August 2010

Thanks for writing this out even though that one chick didn't read it and posted over here anyway.

KhloesMom · August 2010

If the mods could sticky this as a "read me before posting here" I don't think it would be a bad thing.

lynnmarie75 · August 2010

Sounds great! Thanks for being an advocate for this board.

andrea701 · August 2010

KhloesMom:
If the mods could sticky this as a "read me before posting here" I don't think it would be a bad thing.

The sad thing is that there is a disclaimer at the top telling people that this board is for women who have lost pregnancies and if you think you are having a m/c call your doctor. I know people don't read it but it's there. Thank you Beth for writing this. It was definitely needed.

tlcW0714 · August 2010

petite chouette · August 2010

Thank you for taking the time to write this -- I agree it was needed.

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