Babies on the Brain

New to the bump and need advice!

Hey ladies! I'm Tiff, and new to posting here (and have been lurking for a while, forgive me!). I've been married to H for a little over a year now, but we've been together since 2005. I'm needing some advice on something (especially if you're currently a student or teacher or student teaching): H recently asked me to stop taking BCP because he really wants to have kids. We are both full time students. I have my bachelor's, but I went back to get my teaching certificate and masters, while H is working on his bachelor's in engineering. Above anything else, I want to be a mom (I know it's cheesy, but really that's all I've wanted to be), so H asking me to do this and hearing how he really wanted to start a family was very exciting to me. We aren't actively TTC (ex. charting my fertility, planning sessi time for around  my ovulation, etc.), however we are both of the mindset that if we get pregnant, it's what was in our plan. This spring is supposed to be my last set of classes I take, then in the Fall of 2011 I will need to student teach for the semester. I know it won't be easy, but if in the event I do get pregnant, will it be horribly hard to keep up in school, or will I need to put it on pause for a bit? I know everyone's different, but I like hearing everyone's perspective. Also, if you're a teacher/student teaching, what are your thoughts on this? Thanks in advance!

Re: New to the bump and need advice!

  • First bit of advice- paragraphs. 

    Second- wait until you're done with your classwork and student teaching.  You could do it, but do you really want to not spend that time with your baby?  That was the biggest selling point with me and our decision to wait until I was done with my MA. 

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  • Whoops, sorry about the lack of paragraphs!
  • "Sessi time"? Yikes.

    Anyways, I'll answer your quesiton from a logistical side. I was a teacher and am now a HS Assistant Principal and in my state, a new teacher must teach for 2 out of 3 years in order to convert his/her teaching certificate from a provisional certification to a standard certification. If someone in AZ were to get pregnant during student teaching, or soon after and not teach for at least two out of the next three years it would really throw a kink in things as far as his/her teaching cert. is concerned.

    You need to look into the certification requirements for your state and have that impact your decision for timing.

  • I had my first son during my senior year of college. It was very hard.  I was very sick during my pregnancy, which made it difficult to attend classes.  I mean, it's doable, but it would be easier to wait. 

    Also you need to think about finances. Babies are very expensive and it is difficult if you aren't working full time.  

    I'm back in school now and it is hard to find time to study with two little kids. I can't imagine having a newborn right now. I would go nuts.  

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  • In case you come back to check this:

    I got pregnant halfway through my second year of a three-year graduate program. We'd planned on waiting to try until my final year, but changed our plans after an IF diagnosis. It was definitely harder to keep up with school during early pregnancy, and I didn't start feeling well enough to do any real work until after midterms, by which point the damage to your grades could be done if you aren't careful. Plus, now I'm on bed rest, so imagine being put on bed rest just in time for finals. I will be taking one semester off and then going back part time, which means my degree will take me an extra 1.5 years, but it's worth it to us.

    However, my husband is not a student, and the plan had always been for him to support us while I'm in school. Are you financially where you could afford to have a kid with just one income? What if your husband can't get a job after he graduates, especially in this economy?

    Personally, my suggestion would be to hold off for a little while, especially since you're so close to being done. Maybe go off of birth control (use a backup method!!!) and start charting so that you can get to know your body ahead of time. Oh, and don't ever use the term "sessi time" again. Ever.

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  • Sessi time? Holy crap, there is a term worse than baby dance.
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  • Wait until you are done school and done your student teaching.  what's the rush?

    FWIW, I'd been teaching for 7 years when I got pregnant.  It knocked me on my ass and I didn't do my job nearly as well as I could have. And I've got my classroom management under control and I know my curriculum and lessons and I found teaching while hugely pregnant VERY difficult. 

    Take that for what it's worth.

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  • I started grad school (for Elem Ed) when DD was 7 months old, and started student teaching when she was 19 months old. I got pregnant in September of that year, and had a full year teaching assignment. Thankfully, we were done in the classroom in April, but I had a month to complete all the work involved in my internship. It was tough trying to find time to do it all, but I wouldn't really recommend it. MH and I made the choice to get pregnant when I did so I could take a year off with the baby, and that's proving to make the venture back into teaching difficult. 
  • Ladies- thanks so much for all the advice! The honesty is very much appreciated. H and I are going to have a talk and re-assess things. I'm beginning to see the light, and hopefully he will as well! It would be much smarter for us to wait AT LEAST until I've started teaching. 

     

    Apologies for the "sessi time" comment as well, hehe. 

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