lets talk sex — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

lets talk sex

so i've had a hard time with sex this pregnancy... at first I was like no way no how, not until 12 weeks... it ended up being around 10 weeks we had sex and it was fine. fast forward to now and it either hurts my tummy (because the only time it ever really does much for me is if he's in charge) or I can't get enough of it!

How is this so difficult?! I had to tell DH last night, just because it hurt last time doesn't meant I dont' want some intimacy from you! He finally got the hint after that.

Poor guy, during TTCAL I was twice a day for two weeks at a time... now he's lucky if its twice a month!

I'm not the only one, right? 

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Missing our sweet Angeline. BFP #1: 7.12.09 / EDD: 3.15.10 / Missed Miscarriage: 8.14.10
BFP #2: 3.16.10 / EDD: 11.28.12 / Collin Rex born 12.1.10
TTC#2: May 2012
BFP #3: 7.5.12 / CP 7.12.12
BFP #4: 1.28.12 / EDD: 10.11.13
betas: 10dpo: 91 / 14dpo: 493 / first u/s: 3.4.13
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Re: lets talk sex

  • We haven't had sex in MONTHS. 

    We're both dying but it's so uncomfortable and DH is scared of sex with Xavier in there, lol. 

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  • I actually enjoy pregnant sex!! 

    What works me though is getting some "oral stimulation" first or using a vibrator, then actually doing the deed...and I have to use a lot of lube.

    The positions that work best for me now is either me on top, him from behind (doggie style) or the spooning position...that last position doesn't work so much to turn me on but it the one position that doesn't feel like he goes in too far sometimes LOL.

    But really, having me orgasm before the actual act of sex helps a lot :) 

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  • We haven't had sex in months either, (TMI ALERT!!!) it's just uncomfortable for me when he is inside me, it flat out hurts! It feels like I've tightened up and it's been that way since about 2nd tri. So poor DH has to settle for hj's and bj's!
    1st BFP My Little Pook 9/16/09 Natural M/C 9/23/09 7wks

    2nd BFP 01/13/10 Jackson Elkanah born via c/s 9/21/10 9lb 3.3oz 19.5in.

    3rd BFP 1/28/12 EDD 10/6/12 CP 1/29/12

    4th BFP 3/22/12 Nathaniel Elias born via c/s 11/27/12 8lb 10.1 oz 19.5 in

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  • image LaciLeigh:

    I actually enjoy pregnant sex!! 

    What works me though is getting some "oral stimulation" first or using a vibrator, then actually doing the deed...and I have to use a lot of lube.

    The positions that work best for me now is either me on top, him from behind (doggie style) or the spooning position...that last position doesn't work so much to turn me on but it the one position that doesn't feel like he goes in too far sometimes LOL.

    But really, having me orgasm before the actual act of sex helps a lot :) 

    I simply can't get anywhere during sex or before without a little help from the vibrator - been that way my whole life, though having to use lube is another story - I've never been on "short supply" in that area and now I totally am.  

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    Missing our sweet Angeline. BFP #1: 7.12.09 / EDD: 3.15.10 / Missed Miscarriage: 8.14.10
    BFP #2: 3.16.10 / EDD: 11.28.12 / Collin Rex born 12.1.10
    TTC#2: May 2012
    BFP #3: 7.5.12 / CP 7.12.12
    BFP #4: 1.28.12 / EDD: 10.11.13
    betas: 10dpo: 91 / 14dpo: 493 / first u/s: 3.4.13
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  • image natoshacooke:
    image LaciLeigh:

    I actually enjoy pregnant sex!! 

    What works me though is getting some "oral stimulation" first or using a vibrator, then actually doing the deed...and I have to use a lot of lube.

    The positions that work best for me now is either me on top, him from behind (doggie style) or the spooning position...that last position doesn't work so much to turn me on but it the one position that doesn't feel like he goes in too far sometimes LOL.

    But really, having me orgasm before the actual act of sex helps a lot :) 

    I simply can't get anywhere during sex or before without a little help from the vibrator - been that way my whole life, though having to use lube is another story - I've never been on "short supply" in that area and now I totally am.  

     

    I am the same way now, I used to never need lube until I got pregnant. Maybe try that? I wonder if that KY intense lube works? 

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  • image LaciLeigh:

    I am the same way now, I used to never need lube until I got pregnant. Maybe try that? I wonder if that KY intense lube works? 

    Not sure.  The his and hers KY is pretty nice, not earth shattering, but nice.

    I agree with both posters.  Most of the time it is uncomfortable and awkward, unless I get, um, stimulated enough first.  After that, it's not so bad.  I agree with the above-mentioned positions too, except the doggie-style is by far the most comfortable.  It seems odd, but it is.

    BFP #1 4/1/09 D&C 5/25/09
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  • image natoshacooke:
    image LaciLeigh:

    I actually enjoy pregnant sex!! 

    What works me though is getting some "oral stimulation" first or using a vibrator, then actually doing the deed...and I have to use a lot of lube.

    The positions that work best for me now is either me on top, him from behind (doggie style) or the spooning position...that last position doesn't work so much to turn me on but it the one position that doesn't feel like he goes in too far sometimes LOL.

    But really, having me orgasm before the actual act of sex helps a lot :) 

    I simply can't get anywhere during sex or before without a little help from the vibrator - been that way my whole life, though having to use lube is another story - I've never been on "short supply" in that area and now I totally am.  

     This exactly with me and I don't think the lube would really help that much in my case. I haven't ever tried the vibrator with DH as he has "vibrator issues" as a result of his ex (thanks a lot biitch, nothing bad just that she preferred using it over having sex with him). He doesn't mind that I have one but wants nothing to do with it! He usually does some of his "digital stimulation" before though because oral does nothing for me.

    1st BFP My Little Pook 9/16/09 Natural M/C 9/23/09 7wks

    2nd BFP 01/13/10 Jackson Elkanah born via c/s 9/21/10 9lb 3.3oz 19.5in.

    3rd BFP 1/28/12 EDD 10/6/12 CP 1/29/12

    4th BFP 3/22/12 Nathaniel Elias born via c/s 11/27/12 8lb 10.1 oz 19.5 in

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  • You are definitely not alone.  Sex hasn't been painful at all for me, but I still can't "enjoy it" without relying other measures.  I don't know why, but it is very frustrating.  We are lucky if we have sex twice a month lately.
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    1st pg- BFP 9/16/09 Natural m/c on 9/29/09
    2nd pg- BFP 11/3/09 Lost HB on 12/9/09 D&C on 12/11/09
    BFP #3! 3/7/10- Anabelle Marceline born happy & healthy on 11/11/10
    TTCAL Buddies: vflipo, BrittLy15

  • lube up really well and get it from behind.
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  • Once m/s went away I was all about it.  Poor DH was in shock because he had gotten used to not getting it.  Once I really started getting big it started getting uncomfortable and we did it less and less.  Now I'm on pelvic rest and I honestly don't mind, although poor DH asked if we could play "just the tip" because it has been so long.  I'm hoping pelvic rest won't be for the rest of the pregnancy for his sake.
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