So yesterday I found out on FB that one of my colleagues is having a baby in January.
I'm happy for her, but yet am a bit sad at the same time bc I am no longer having a baby this winter. So I said to my DH last night that I was glad that she wasn't due in February b/c that would be very hard for me. He turned to me and said "why?" I wanted to strangle him.
Re: insensitivity from my DH
Amen!
Mine flat out yelled at me last Thursday when I mentioned I was just not feeling 100% b/c it was what would have been my 9wks. He said that I had no idea what loss was b/c no one in my family or close to me has died. OMG... Seriously?! It is not really in the same ball park as losing a loved one. The feelings of loss and sadness are, but those only account for a part of the feelings that result from a m/c.
I decided that it was my job to try to help him understand. It was b/c he didn't understand that he didn't know how to help me (rather he said I needed counseling). I spent 2 hours that night writing everything down from my BFP through my spotting, and then the confirmation of m/c. I also described my emotions and put it in terms that he can relate to. He seemed to FINALLY get it!! He was in tears when he came upstairs after reading it. This morning a woman who is 20 wks was in my spin class and was talking then entire time before and after the class about the whole pg story (made for a crappy morning). When I got home I mentioned it to DH and he actually showed some empathy and said he was sorry I had to listen to it.
Just a suggestion. His attitude will probably only get worse over time b/c you will continue to hurt and he will continue to not understand unless you help him understand. Good luck to you and I hope things get better for you. (((hugs)))
TTC Since April 2010 BFP #1 - 6/27/10 ... M/C - 7/12/10 BFP #2 - 1/22/11 ... Praying for a sticky one!!!