Georgia Babies

julienandy or other Catholics

I am thinking ahead to baby's baptism and we are bad and have yet to join a parish since we bought our house.  I know I need to join one in order to have the baptism there, but we were not married by a priest (were married at the beach and no priest would do it outside) so I know in the eyes of the church we are not married.  Will they not baptize our baby b/c of this?

Also, my husband is not religious at all and so I will be the one who will be raising the child Catholic.  He does not want to take the class and fake it that he will be part of the baby's religious upbringing, which I can understand, but will they let me take the class alone? 

Thanks!

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Re: julienandy or other Catholics

  • I grew up Catholic. You probably need to contact a church to answer your questions. The priest would be happy to meet with you to answer your questions.
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  • Ok.  My hubby is a Methodist and I am Catholic.  We weren't married by a priest either, and the baptism was not an issue.  We DID have to officially join our church AND take the 1 day class, which was really no big deal.  You DO have to go to church pretty regularly to "establish" yourself there before they will baptize though.  They never asked my hubby any questions, nor did he have to affirm anything to the best of my knowledge.  You have to pick godparents that will promise to help support you in raising your baby as a Catholic though.  Does that help?
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  • You do need to join your local parish I think.  andy is not catholic or at all religious and I think like when we were married in the church he just had to acknowledge i wanted to raise them as catholic....not like he would participate just that he understood it was my intent...if that makes any sense. 

    Go ahead and call to tell them you want your baby baptized.  They will let you know if you need to join.

  • I should say register in the parish, not JOIN.  :-)  Andy went with me BTW.
  • There shouldn't be any issue.  I would go ahead and find a church to call home and then proceed.  They won't do baptism during lent so keep that in mind when you do decide to make your baptism date. 

    FWIW Noah was not a Catholic when we met (strange since he had two aunts that were in the convent), but we were married in the Catholic church and I, like Julie, had to say that I wanted the kids to be catholic.  Most religions I believe falls on the mother.  As far as Godparents go only one has to be a Catholic if I remember.  I have had to go to three of those classes and Noah went with me to all three.  Maybe your DH will just go to the baptism class that way he won't feel lost on that special day.

  • my husband and i got married on the beach by my brother who was ordained online.   we were able to get a pre-cana certificate from a church in our town that we did not belong to so we could have our Catholic ceremony overseas. 

    We were not members of the church overseas and we were able to have our wedding there.  We are also having our kids baptized there.

    I would start interviewing churches to find one that will baptize your baby without your joining and takes your other circumstances into consideration.  

  • Thank you all--I will go ahead and register at a church to help me to get started.  I will see if my husband will go to class with me--he was raised Catholic as well, just doesn't practice anymore.  I am also going to see if his uncle who is a priest might be able to baptize the baby for us.   You all gave me a good start though! Smile
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I think you will still have to do the class and get a letter so that your Uncle could baptize.  There was a couple in our class from Brazil that were having someone in Brazil baptize their LO, they had to take the letter with them after the class.  Good luck, I am sure if its important to you, your DH can suck it up and go to one class.  Ours was great! 
  • You may want to contact the Catholic Shrine downtown. We got married there by Father Henry, and he is amazing. DH is not Catholic, and we were living in London, so he didn't make us do pre-cana, just gave us a booklet to do with each other.

    When we moved back we called him and asked if he would baptize Finn. We weren't members (and hadn't been in 2 years) and they did it, and we didn't have to take a class. Father Henry is so accomodating, and the Church does amazing things with outreach for homeless people and AIDs patients. We love it.

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  • Most parishes are VERY understanding about families wanting a family member or family friend who's a priest perform a marriage or baptize a baby.

    If your DH's uncle is not a priest in the Archdiocese of Atlanta, he will need what's called "faculties" from the archbishop.  Basically, the priest's superior or local bishop writes a letter to the archbishop and says that this priest is coming into town to perform this sacrament and that he is a priest in good standing, and the archbishop writes back and says that's fine.  It is a very common practice in the Catholic church.

    As far as classes go, you will still probably have to do whatever is standard practice in the local diocese and/or parish.  Some parishes have the parents and godparents attend classes; some have the parents attend three classes; and some just do a brief interview with the parents.  (My parish is tiny and the priest knows everyone really well, so our "classes" were a few minutes talking with him after Mass one Sunday.  Very low-key.)  When you register at a parish, you can ask the secretary what's usually done and he or she should be able to help you out.  In most parishes I've been in, there's contact information about baptismal stuff right on the front of the bulletin.

    With godparents, the canonical rules are that one has to be a practicing Catholic who's over 16 years old and has received the sacrament of Confirmation.  The other just has to be a baptized Christian to stand as a Christian witness.  DH is Southern Baptist, I'm Catholic, and both our children have one Catholic and one Protestant godparent -- which our priest encouraged.

    Another canon law note: the Church does consider you married, just not sacramentally married.  You can share that information with your parish or not as you choose; it has no bearing on baptizing your children!  If you do tell your priest that you weren't married in the Church, he will probably offer you the opportunity to convalidate your marriage in the Catholic faith.

    I can't recall the exact wording of the rite of baptism (and my church uses different texts anyway since I'm Byzantine rite Catholic), but as far as I do remember, the only thing you agree to do as parents is to raise the child in the Catholic faith and you renew your baptismal vows (the "Do you reject Satan" questions and the "Do you believe in the Trinity" questions).  Nothing too controversial.

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  • I can't answer the second question (about the classes), but I do know that even though the Church doesn't "recognize" your marriage, you can still have your child baptized I think.  I'm saying this because my brother and his ex (who were never married) had my niece baptized in the Church.  Also, now that I think about it, she was baptized in a church that my brother was not a member of (he was a member of another church). HTH.

  • just wanted to mention that if your DH was baptized Catholic, he is always Catholic no matter what.  DH was baptized but then his mother changed religions because she went through a divorce.  When we were going through our marriage counseling at Christ the King, our priest told us that DH was still Catholic even though he had his confirmation with another religion.  He actually confirmed this with the diocese.  It still shouldn't interfere with your child's baptism, but just wanted to mention it :)

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