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Northern California Babies
POLL - How was your birth experience?
A girl I am friends with on FB is always posting all of these articles and stories about woman who have had issues with their Dr. not listening to what they wanted in regards to their birth plan. I had a fantastic experience even though M ended up in distress and needing an emergency c-section because the cord was wrapped 2 times tightly around his neck.
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Re: POLL - How was your birth experience?
I think my OB had a pre-conception about how my pregnancy would go and acted accordingly.
That being said, once I was in the hospital, the midwives were fine and listened to me.
I had a high risk pregnancy, a medically necessary induction, an OB who practiced like a mid-wife and a doula. I had no doubt the induction was necessary, and my OB was incredible and supportive.
He knew that I really really wanted a vaginal birth, he was confident that the induction was the right thing for C but that we had time as long as I was on monitors to verify he was alive and kicking, he tried absolutely every single thing in his aresenal and then tried it again, hoping to help me have the birth I wanted. He was patient to a fault, and ordered things for me that were against hospital policy to make me comfortable (allowing me to eat some solid food hours and days after I'd already started pitocin).
In the end, when I asked for the cesarean about 80 hours after it all began, my OB tried to talk me out of it. I was exhausted and none of the things we had tried (rounds of cervadil, rounds of pitocin, attempts to insert a foley balloon) worked and I just needed to meet my son. It was the right decision.
None of it was the "fault" of my OB nor was I bullied into anything. I can't say I wasn't sad about it, I totally was. I was insanely jealous for a long time of people who were able to birth their kids the normal way. But once the hormones wore off I was able to see that his conception wasn't normal, my pregnancy with him wasn't normal, and I shouldn't have pinned so much emotional energy on his birth being normal.
Oh God, can I relate to this. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I had to have a c/s, and stop blaming myself for it.
With that said, my OB was great. She knew I wanted an un-medicated birth and did a lot to assist with that. In the end, G was in distress, he wasn't coming out, and I was swelling so bad I my dilation was going in reverse. She was patient with us and let us try to get my body back on track naturally (up until the point where his heart rate started going down). So yeah, I have trust in her and feel that she understood what we wanted and did her best to help us out.
Photo by Zemya Photography
With my first pregnancy, the birthing staff and my OB were awesome, even when I had to have an emergency c/s. Everyone was on my side, that may have been because it was an adoption. I was the first point of contact unless I said otherwise. The hospital was a different story, but with a few moments of mommyness, I fixed it all right.
With my second, since it was a planned c/s, it went a bit differently. I did not really have to worry about a birthing plan like before. The doctor was my advocate then too, just didn't need him to be as much so.
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EJ is growing up too fast!
I was told at 12 weeks in by my CR surgeon that if I had a vaginal birth I would be in for some more surgery down the line. He rec'd c/s and I went to my OB and we talked at length about what she had seen and laid it all out on the table.
After about 30 seconds of wondering just how bad the repercussions could be, I opted for a scheduled c/s and then allowed myself time to come to terms with it. I read a lot of birth stories and listened to a lot of "helpful" advice (my SIL actually needed all of the TMI to back off telling me to get a midwife) and I realized two things:
1) the very idea of laboring freaks me out and 2) I would be able to bond with my son no matter how he managed to get out of the womb.
My OB was very supportive of having Teri and Kelly there (no in the OR) and the two of them helped calm our nerves. She also listened to what I wanted and would explain why it had to be this way or that and was flexible where she could be.
It was as ideal as it was going to be.
The ONLY thing that went even close to according to plan was that now, 2.5 years later, I have a healthy, amazing, wonderful son. The steps it took to get to this point? Not one single thing was what I wanted.
That said, I received nothing but the very best care for myself and Max... neither of us died, which could have been a totally different story.
My perinatologist, OTOH, I really and truly think that I could have made a pretty strong malpractice suit against him, and while I complained to Kaiser, he's still practicing and I pray regularly for any high risk pregnancies that end up stuck in his horrible care. If I'd had a better doctor, I think I would have carried Max longer, and I honestly wonder if my transplant would still be functioning...
I could check all three -- the two OBs I had during my pregnancy and labor with Ryan would fall into the "tool" and "ok, but not really listening" categories. I left the "tool's" practice mid-pregnancy when she told me I'd need a c-section because Ryan was breech at 22 weeks. The second listened to what I wanted, but it didn't really register. The icing on the cake, as it were, was when he stitched me up without giving a local.
For Aaron's birth, the OB fits in the first category. I specifically sought out an OB who supports and even encourages med-free labor (unlike OB#2 who nodded and jokingly said "well, good luck with that" when I told him I wanted to have a med-free labor).
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